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Whew! Let me tell you- I am still in a state of shock from last week’s huge surprise at the Elimination Ceremony- Flav sent Beatuful home, then asked New York to come back into the competition, and then Buckwild quit the show, and lost her accent. What an incredible twist! I only hope that tonight’s show is as action packed as the last three minutes of last week’s show.
First up tonight; New York thinks the other girls should try to get on her good side… I guess so that she can give them tips on recovering from being spit on on TV or something.
This show broadens my vocabulary.
We’re diving right into the action tonight as Big Rick delivers a Flav-o-Gram that promises to bring the drama! Flav would like the group to choose the two women they all think should go home next. He’s put Deelishis in charge of this little “exercise,” and she loves it! Krazy immediately nominates Boots to go home, because of her penchant for bending over in front of Flav’s friends. Boots has a snappy reply to that, and calls Krazy a lyin’ ass bitch. Krazy screeches that Bootz absolutely did bend over in front of those men, and Krazy even saw her “tony”, (maybe she said “pony”- I really should watch this show with the Closed Captioning on). Bootz denies this, but is speechless when Krazy tells her that she “saw the outline of your *beep* through your swimsuit.” Lovely. Every episode I am more and more impressed with these wonderful ladies and their fine vocabularies.
The ladies move on from Bootz’s pony for a while, and decide to focus on Krazy instead. Buckeey asks her why she brought a demo tape with her, and insists that she’s just asking because she’s trying to keep it real. Deelishis calls Krazy an opportunist, New York is blessedly quiet, and the women decide to put Krazy’s picture in the exile box. Krazy is hurt by this, and feels betrayed by Deelishis, because she felt closest to Dee, and they exchanged friendship bracelets and everything!
One crazy down…
Krazy’s in the box, and now it’s time to pick the second person the ladies would send home. Deelishis thinks that at this point, they need to think about who would be the best role model for Flav’s kids, (because Flav certainly isn’t!), and Deelishis thinks that the two worst role models in the house are Bootz and New York. To prove this, we get a mini montage of Bootz and New York behaving really poorly and screaming profanities.
New York knows she’s going to end up in the box, but she doesn’t really care, because she knows “the best bitch is gonna win.” Then she refers to herself as the HBIC, which apparently means “Head Bitch in Charge,” (I had to look it up online. I thought it meant something like “Happiest Bimbo in Cleveland.”).
When Flav arrives, we see that he’s brushed out his braids, and I dig the new look! He finds out that the women have chosen Krazy and New York to go home, but sadly he doesn’t send them home… he just gives them a little time out so that he can spend some quality grope time with the other three.
Bootz tells Flav that she doesn’t think New York should have been brought into this competition at the end, and Flav replies that he loves New York! Isn’t the competition over then? Isn’t he looking for love? I don’t get it. New York is pleased with his words, and tells us she’s been in this competition since the beginning, and is waiting for her second ending with Flav. Let’s hope it’s a happy ending!
Buckeey is Buckin!
Buckeey is so excited about her first date with Flav! She says she’s really looking to make a connection, and shows it by making out with Flav, and asking him to grab her ass. Aah… this is so romantic I have tears in my eyes! The limo arrives, and Flav and Buckeey stop their lip lock for a moment in order to get in, and then start right back up again. Buckeey tells us that Flav likes kissing her because he likes her lips, and I am seriously going to be sick if I have to watch much more of this crap. I’m scared for my stomach since this is only the first of three dates for Flav over the next 24 hours.
Flav really knows how to dazzle a lady- with bowling of course! The huge limo pulls up outside a bowling alley, and Flav and Buckeey get out… and actually bowl. And play grab-ass. And, I’m no professional bowler here, but I think they are breaking all sorts of rules here! They end the session with more making out, and I’m sure the other bowlers are really happy to see them leave.
Who knew Krazy could read?
Meanwhile, back at the house, Krazy is looking for a new best friend to replace meanie Deelishis, and I guess she decides New York would be a good choice?? I don’t think I would have gone that way myself, but whatever. Krazy and New York know that they are the two women Flav is feeling the most, and decide that the other women are just jealous. New York tells the camera that Krazy is one of the fakest women there, and then tells Krazy that she isn’t fake at all, not like those other bitches. Krazy is happy to have found a friend in the house, and New York is happy to have found a really, really stupid woman to manipulate.
Krazy then goes in to a monologue about how she just can’t stand to see Flav hurt again, and just wants him to be happy. She also feels that appearing on the show has taught her to read people and situations better. Riiiight. Good luck with that whole “New York is my best friend” thing, Krazy.
You’re… what now?
Flav gets home from his bowling date with Buckeey just in time to join Bootz in the Jacuzzi with her tiny bikini. There’s a really nice spread of food and champagne out by the whirlpool, but Flav and Bootz don’t have much time for it, because they’re too busy doing other things that I don’t really want to talk about.
Flav is excited that Bootz’s ass is boomin’, and her chest is large, and asks her if she could see herself making love to him. She answers “yes,” and Flav asks “how?” to which Bootz answers “When I’m married.” Damn!! This is the first time this whole season I’ve liked Bootz even a little bit.
Bootz knows she shocked Flav, and Flav wants to try and make her change her mind. She tells him that she’s not a virgin, but has decided to stay celibate until marriage. Or until she dates a guy who is not a troll. Flav tells Bootz that she’s killing him, and has broken his heart, and leaves to take a cold shower.
There are worse things than waking up with Flav in your bed… but not much worse.
Flav’s date with Deelishis is scheduled for the next day, so she’s surprised when he sneaks into her bed early in the morning. Here, I am thankful that they had a comforter over them, because I don’t want to know what was going on in that bed. Deelishis was happy to wake up to a little Flava Flav, and even happier that she shares a room with New York, who had to know exactly what was going on under those covers. Again, these are some classy ladies.
Midnight at the Oasis.
Big Rick presents the ladies with another Flav-o-Gram, and this one says that it’s time for Deelishis to go on an exotic adventure with Flav, and she won’t be the only one there with lovely lady humps (!). Dee runs upstairs to freshen up, and New York decides that this would be a good time to verbally attack Deelishis and do some screaming. New York accuses Deelishis of calling everyone else out for being fake, when Dee is the fakest one of all! They both start yelling, and swearing, and I really have no idea what they’re saying. They’re both up in each other’s faces, but Deelishis is just a tad bigger than New York, and New York backs right down. The shrieking continues, and Big Rick has to come upstairs and break up the fight. He finally separates them, and New York screeches something at Deelishis, then skips away while laughing maniacally. Yikes.
Deelishis manages to pull herself together, and goes downstairs where she is met by Flav who is wearing a weird matadorish outfit. The two climb into the limo, and immediately start making out, (how many times have I written that tonight?). Flav asks if he’s too small for Dee, and Dee replies that he can be her “Little Chocolate Boy Wonder.” Well! Flav would rather be her Chocolate Man Wonder, thankyouverymuch! I’m sure he didn’t really like being referred to as “little” very much either.
They arrive at a beach, and Deelishis finds that Flav has planned an amazing date for them, and they will be… riding camels. Oooh! They make out in the sand, and on the camel, and when they get off the camel. The camel takes them to a little oasis in the middle of the beach, and the ever- romantic Flav has hired a belly dancer to perform for the two of them. Deelishis is not happy that Flav was about to get excited looking at another woman, but decides it’s okay since he is going to spend the night with her.
Inside the tent, Flav refers to himself as “Flava Baba,” The two drink champagne and eat strawberries, and then do other stuff as we’re treated to footage of the camel. Afterwards, Deelishis and Flav have a serious discussion about what’s real, and how Dee just wants him to be happy. He asks what happened with Krazy, and Dee tells him about the demo tape and how Krazy is an opportunist. Flav calls Deelishis a keeper, and that’s it for their date.
Thank God for the mute button.
Things are not so happy back at the house. New York thinks Krazy is clueless, and she spends most of the day pumping her for information on the other women. Krazy thinks they’re BFF, and tells New York that they really need to get Deelishis out of the house, and Bootz and Buckeey are just her little followers. Buckeey walks in and hears the tail end of this conversation, and demands to know what they were talking about. There’s some screaming, and the two get all up intro each other’s business, and then they start shoving each other! And Buckeey shoves Krazy so hard, she almost falls over the balcony!! It is dangerous to be on Flavor of Love! New York tries to break up the fight, and tells the camera that these women are out of control, and Krazy doesn’t know this is just a game.
Flav and Deelishis get back from their date and are met by Bootz and Buckeey who immediately tattle about the fighting. Everyone goes out to the balcony, and all the women start fighting. There are lots of “bitches” and “hos” being thrown about, especially between Bootz and Krazy. Flav wants the women to stop, but doesn’t know how to make them, so he kisses New York, (as good an idea as any, I guess). The other women ignore them, but New York is happy with the attention and says “Duh you stupid ass whores, I’ve got Flav!”
Flav leaves New York to kiss Buckeey, and then looks dazed as Buckeey and Krazy argue about who started the shove fight. Flav honestly doesn’t seem who concerned about who started it- I think he just wants these women to shut the hell up already.
Buckeey is Buckin… out of the competition.
Krazy lives up to her name more and more each episode. It’s time for the Elimination Ceremony, but first, Krazy tells us that New York is the realest one in the house. I don’t even know what to say about this woman’s naiveté, but I hope it’s all an act.
The ladies get ready for the ceremony, and Buckeey is a little nervous because she knows that Flav does not want violent people in his home. Bootz is nervous because of the celibacy thing, and Dee feels pretty confident about her status in the house.
Who’s in? Deelishis, Bootz and New York. That leaves Buckeey and Krazy clockless, and there’s only one clock left. Flav tells them that he knows about the fight, and sends Buckeey packing because she almost killed Krazy.
Well, that’s it for this week. Tune in next week to see the ladies class it up on a yacht! I’m sure that’s not to be missed.