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You know, its not easy writing a recap. Sometimes I wish I could just download my thoughts while watching a show and then edit from there. Had I been able to do that tonight however, this is what the first draft might have looked like:
. Brooke is wearing black again .. *sigh* they are recapping the WHOLE season Ryan is soooo lucky . . oh-OH-oh-OH-OH-OH! . Oooh sparkly eyes! . OMG is that Paula Abdul making googly eyes at Lukas?!?! .. Heh. Dilana totally made those boys her bitches uh-oh, that was the only criticism tonight not a good sign
Not much to work with, is it?
Twas the night before Supernova
Who did you vote for?
Dilana had to eat crow
Ryan won a car
Girls lift their hands up
EVS scrawled on their sweaty palms
Why is he so blah?
Can not begin to Fix You
Stop singing that song!
Pulled a calf muscle
Must be better by now, right?
Whats up with the cane?
Liquid hot magma
Eventually has to cool
And tonight it did
No. No, no, no!
Oh what a summer it has been! I thought I had you all scared into complete submission at the beginning of this season of Rockstar, what with my tattoos and thinly veiled threats of violence. But that faηade has slipped away, right along with any hope that my favorites will win any of the summer reality shows. If you havent heard already, a total schmuck won Big Brother tonight, and after the loss of Ryan and Storm, it looks like this show is going down the same poopchute.
Were down to the final four: Magni, Toby, Lukas and THE LAST WOMAN STANDING: Dilana. I emphasized that because, well, it was emphasized a lot on the show tonight. I just hope its a harbinger of her demise, because if theres anyone (other than Lukas, Magni or Toby) that I dont want to win this thing, its Dilana. Yeah, Im loving this show! Rawr!
Unlike the actual show, which was laden with recaps of every twist, turn and tumble of the final four rockers, Im just gonna get down to business. Brooke explains how the rest of the game is going to play out: the rockers will each perform two songs tonight (one cover and their now-familiar original,) the world will vote, and then the bottom two will stand before Supernova tomorrow night. One of them will go home. Then, the remaining three will perform again and the winner will be chosen. In other words, all of the action is going down tomorrow night. Tonight, we just get to hear a bunch of songs weve already heard three or four times.
Supernova, You Screwed the Pooch On This One
The first order of business is revealing the winner of the popular vote for an encore. Not surprisingly, Ryan Starr is revealed (by Dilana!) to be the winner, and he reprises his popular original song Back In My Car. And then he WINS a car. Yup, a spiffy new Honda CRV with all kinds of doodads and heated seats. Plus a new Chocolate phone from Cingular. PLUS, he reveals that his new album (entitled Dark Horse) is already available on the Rockstar web page. Enough product placement for you?
Really, This EVS Thing Is Getting Old
Toby is up first, and starts his set with Karma Police by Radiohead. Im not super familiar with that song, but I recognized it by the time he got to the chorus. Kind of. It was just off a little bit. Gilby agrees with me (like any man in their right mind would) and says that Toby lost it a bit in the beginning. Tommy Lee offers a subdued nice job. As he segues into his second song, Toby calls up Magni and his guitar to join in on the fun. For a change, Toby doesnt take it all the way to the back of the auditorium, but rather stays on stage and acts goofy with Magni. At one point, he whips out a black marker and writes EVS on the back of Magnis head. Later, Magni kneels before Toby and holds up his guitar so that Toby can play for a while. They look like they know how to have a good time, at least, but I found Toby pretty subdued tonight overall. Jason has opposite feelings, as he thinks it was a very energetic performance. Has Toby EVd his way to the bottom two?
Why is this guy still here? Are my ears broken or something? Screw impartiality - HES HORRIBLE! That being said, Lukas starts off his set with Coldplays Fix You, and to his credit, the opening looked promising. I actually gave him the benefit of the doubt, but that didnt last for long. By the time the House Band kicked in with music and backup vocals, I almost couldnt hear Lukas anymore. Well, thats actually a good thing, but really defeats the purpose here. Plus? Stop messing with my Coldplay, people. His second act is a new, softer version of his (horrible) original Headspin. I will say it is more tolerable this way, as I managed not to fast forward, but I can not, will not be happy if he wins this. Unfortunately, the Supernova crew lurves them some Lukas and they heap the compliments on him. Even Dave rescinds his previous statement that he couldnt sit through two hours of Lukas in concert. Sigh. Dave directs the camera to Paula Abdul who is sitting in the audience, and she is wearing a sparkly silver outfit that matches Lukas eyeshadow to perfection. Has she met her newest boy toy?
All Hail the Drama Queen!
Dilana is up next, with a snarky intro from Brooke who says Roxanne by the Police has been done on this show before, but that Dilana thinks she can do it better. Dilana hobbles out on her spiffy new cane and does an a capella opening, and before long Magni, Lukas and Toby are behind her doing the backup chorus. It is certainly an entertaining (if a bit affected) version of Roxanne, and I keep wondering if Simon Cowell is going to magically appear to judge her performance as perfect for a cruise ship. She segues into her blah original, Supersoul and pulls a Toby by taking it allllll the way to the back of the house (sans cane), even stopping to fondle Paula along the way. She arrives back on the judging platform, pets and pats all of the guys and gets her de rigueur piggy-back ride back to center stage. All-in-all, Id say shes kicked it up a notch, but is it too late? I hope so. But again, its all love and praise from the Supernova crew for Dilana.
Hot or Not?
Magni, the recipient of countless lame riffs on his unique name, is taking up the rear guard tonight. His first song is Hush by Deep Purple, and although Im not familiar with the tune, I enjoy his performance. I have to admit, its a bit boring though. Did he wear himself out by playing back up to Toby and Dilana? As with all of the others, his second song is his original, but he struggles for a moment to even remember what it is titled. It seems to me that he didnt give this performance the same intensity as we have previously seen from him, and Im thinking its not looking so good for Mr. Magni. My fears are confirmed when Tommy gives the first negative feedback of the night, saying he couldnt remember his original at all, even though its been performed twice previously.
Well, this is it my friends. Tune in on Wednesday night to find out who will be chosen as the new lead singer of a temporary band, and look for Speedbumps fine recap of the final episode shortly thereafter. I have this sneaky suspicion that Im going to be disappointed early results have Dilana in the lead.