Yoffy lifts a finger...
Survivor: Standing in the Shadows : A collaboration - Week 3
Our tribe is pathetic!
We are lacking good hygiene and wasps are all over the camp. We need wood for a fire. Everyone was going in different directions and so I called a meeting of the tribe.
Joanna and I want Deena to be the leader because she is a hothead and will cause a little friction. This will work to our advantage in more ways than one.
Now that Deena is delegating tasks we are really seeing some progress at camp. We won the reward challenge and were rewarded with some much needed toiletries. It may not be a hot shower at home but just scraping the muck off and smelling a little better is great! Maybe the fish will not smell us and swim away before we even get the bait on the hook this time.
Joanna, Christy and I caught fish and we all ate pretty well for the first time today. After I read the tree mail we were off to the immunity challenge. The food we ate really gave us the edge and we won immunity. I sure hope that the rain does not come back hard tonight. Joanna will pitch a fit and try to throw the immunity challenges for sure if it storms.
Oh Glory! Can I get yet another Hallelujah?!
FINALLY we are getting some work done in our tribe.
Jeanne and I talked about it and decided to appoint Deena as the 'leader' to see what would happen. It's actually working, and the Lovely Ladies are getting up to do something!
At the reward challenge, sweet Jesus came through for us again! We won all the soap, shampoo, tweezers, everything. It feels *so* good to bathe, and we've been catching fish lately, too. I can *feel* the girl power! At the IC, we kicked the guys' butts AGAIN. MMM mmm MMM. No TC this week! Oh victory in Jesus!
Well this week is definately better than the last.
We elected Deena the leader and some things are getting finished. The camp site has finally shaped up and we are working together well. The "pretty" girls took a bath together and even though I am their age, I am sort of with the other women. Guess, that part of the tribe has 'spoken' .
It is fine by me since I think Deena and Jeanne are smarter and I trust them more.
The reward challenge was fun and silly and it felt great to be a part of it all. I don't think any of the guys suspect me of being deaf.
The immunity challenge was fun too, well winning is always a lot of fun. I also stayed clear of Joanna, so things were pretty good for me this week not too much drama. I am thankful I don't have to hear Joanna going on all the time. That is definately a plus but I wonder why those other women don't give her the hand when she starts up with all her chanting.
Oh well, I am feeling the game more now and things are starting to be easier and I am really settling in. If Joanna starts up with me again I know this time I will just hold the immunity idol close and shut my eyes...
Things are looking up around camp. We're finally getting it together and eating real meals now.
Reward Challenge was pretty cool this week, kinda like "Go Fish". Other than stalker Dan hitting on me, it was a pretty fun event. Jenna had those guys falling all over themselves and I think they actually threw the challenge for us. We put the soap to good use right awayand I couldn't wait to get that jungle rot off my body. Funny thing, I kept getting the feeling we were being watched.
When we arrived at the Immunity Challenge, I thought we were doomed right away. Untying knots isn't my specialty, but I've improved drastically in that area. Also, we must have got a sharper machette than the guys because mine sliced right through that rope like a hot knife through butter. I think the poor guys were still sawing on their rope when we were going "Jaburu, Jaburu, Jaburu Rocks!" (Hallelujah!) Well, I'm not sure what the next few days will bring us, but it should at least be pretty interesting. Who knows? Things are never quite what they seem here in the Amazon.
Things are finally getting done in the tribe, which is a relief to all of us younger, better looking women. Winning the reward challenge was great, and we couldnít wait to get back to camp and go take a bath. It was only natural that those of us with the better bodies would want to bathe together. I asked why the cameraman followed us to the pond, but didnít go near the others. They said something about technical difficulties, but I am a little suspicious. Jenna, Shawna, and I didnít worry about it though, as there is no way they would show that footage on a primetime network show right?
"If nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve . . ." Maybe that is what I should have said instead of agreeing to be "leader" of the women's camp, because "leaders" have been easy targets on this show ever since Gretchen proved that she knew how to survive, better make shrewd political moves. Of course they were going to pick me because, like I said last week, I really do know how to run a camp. Heck, us working moms have plenty of experience with creating harmony out of chaos.
I'm much happier because we've got a decent shelter and some clean water now, and who wouldn't be happy about kicking the guys asses left and right?
I'm just hoping I won't be "Hunter: Part Deux" and I'm hoping that my tribe realizes that they picked me, that I didn't take this on myself. Ok, you know the truth, really I did, but they should think that it wasn't my idea to assume the leader role, that I just happen to be awesome at it. I wonder if they'll air any footage of Jeanne and I shaving and bathing after the reward challenge?
What is it with all the bugs? And why do they always go for our food? Itís a mystery to me. What isnít a mystery is how easy the guys are. During the reward challenge, all I had to do was glance their way and they would turn to mush. Dave was a bit tougher than the other guys, so I shook my ass a little and then he fell in love with me, too. Itís good to be a part of the cute girls. Itís a lot easier for us. Heidi told me that she, Shawna and I should bathe separately from the other women because they would be jealous of our bodies and that would make them uncomfortable. Sheís probably right, but I donít care either way. I just want to get my top off in front of the cameras as soon as possible. I can see a Playboy layout in my future.
Get up, mark the calendar on the tree, put the girls down about shelter. Love this testosterone overdose!!.
Ok so I got hammered in the challenge, the girls said I am topic of conversation. The Robmeister Lives!!! I hope Joanna and her Jesus are gone by merge, she drives me nuts. Now to choose between Roger and Dan for the big boot. No one sees I am under the radar so far. Just got to play the fool and seem harmless.
The evidence that the producers are tilting things in the women's favor continues to mount. I think if Jeff had let me examine the ropes after the IC I would have found that our's had a steel cable running through it. Can't let this get me down - time for a deep breath.
I've met plenty of religious people in my life, but that Joanna woman is the first one that ever really annoyed me with it. When they won the RC I couldn't believe she yelled out "That's my Jesus!" Clearly, she's taken Depeche Mode's tune a little too seriously.
I can't understand why the guys are so in love with Jenna, Shawna, and Heidi. I mean, Jenna's got a nice ass, but nobody will ever come close to my dream woman - Jennifer Connelly in "The Rocketeer."
I've been so focused on surviving that I forgot we're playing a game. I'm sure my comments about that will make the show, as nobody has ever said that on previous Survivor shows. At least I don't think so. I actually never watched the other shows - they must have always been up against "From the Earth to the Moon" on HBO or something.
Itís been a week and this no-women deal is just not working out for me. Oh sure, Matthew is a pretty guy, but heís not really my type. I didnít even remember what the reward challenge was Ė I thought it was seeing actual women again. Reward enough for me! Speaking of which, Jenna wants me. She was impressed that I remembered her name, but when youíre as hot as she is, you make notes. Dave says that sheís one of those girls that you see at a bar that is only focused on one particular guy all night and if youíre not that guy, you have no chance. Well buddy, Iím that guy. He better not move in on her when itís so obvious she wants me.
But the real reason weíre here is to win. And Iím in SUCH a great place right now. Everyone wants to know how Iím going to vote and vote with me. I feel just like Roddy from Big Brother 3 with my very own little Josh look alike, running errands and trying to appease his king.
Ah, much better! There's flying under the radar, and then there's burrowing along in the cave network miles below the surface of the earth. That's what I was able to pull off today. If the camera hadn't caught me spluttering and grinning like a fool during the Reward Challenge, I might have passed completely unnoticed. Thank goodness the rest of the guys were making horndog idiots of themselves at the same time.
Actually, yeah, that was part of my master plan. I was just pretending to be spellbound by those ladies. In reality, I was simply trying to avoid standing out. As I said, I'm 50 years old. I don't notice such things as their bouncing breasts and smooth legs. I'm just giving some specific examples of what those other guys may have noticed, which I did not. Whew, it's hot out here. I'm starting to sweat. But as I was saying, maybe I was in some sort of "hottie sandwich" during the Challenge. I sure didn't know that. Or smell anything nice. Or try to bump into anyone's chest with my elbow as we left the Challenge. Nope. I'm spelunking. I wouldn't do anything like that.
Everyone seems to be doing what I tell them to do except for that Daniel kid. That little slacker didnít volunteer to go get water. I had to get water just to prove what a lazy slob he is and that really pissed me off. I probably should have held my tongue a little more when I told the other guys about his laziness though. I never should have told them Iím capable of delivering a powerful karate chop to the head. Now they are going to think of me as a black belt ninja or something, and that could be a little threatening to them. Maybe it will work to my advantage, at least they recognize my physical prowess and authoritative power.
I canít believe we lost two more challenges to the broads. It was close though, if I hadnít been leading the menís tribe, they probably would have gotten creamed. I told everyone that Daniel is leaving tonight, so fortunately we wonít have to drag his sorry ass around anymore. Iím sure the little punk will vote for me, but hey, whatís one vote when the rest of the tribe supports me without question? Bye-bye kid.
The last few hours have been a little strange. It turns out this is a game that is being filmed for television. Weird, man. Suddenly thereís this camera guy wanting to film me talking to Daniel. I didnít realize it, but film has actually been rolling on this whole experience. What a trip.
Iím starting to get a little worried about Daniel. I know he really likes me and he trusts me completely because of that whole shared-language thing, Hell, he probably thinks Iím more Chinese than he is. But Roger really has it in for him. I donít like Roger, and this kid is loyal to me, so Iím going to see what I can do to turn this aroundÖOh my God. Are you kidding me? Daniel just told everybody in the tribe that Iím his bud. Is he trying to ensure that Iíll be the next one joining him in the losers lodge or something? Iíve got some damage control to do, and the first step is getting Dannyboy out of here. My vote? Daniel, my "best friend", Daniel.
My dream a little dream fantasy finally came true during the RC. You shouldíve seen how smooth I was when I pretended I didnít know Shawna's name. Then, when I matched one of the items to hers, I turned into the Road Runner and zipped on over to her. The birds were singing, flowers blooming, and everything else was in slow motion when I introduced myself to her. The twinkle in her eye confirmed what the 8 ball had predicted. She digs me.
At TC, I made it known that Matthew and I were tight, but not in a prison way of course. We both speak Mandarin, and Matthew really seemed to appreciate that I gave him props in front of the tribe. Just looking out for you, bro! I also blurted out that I felt like an instant outcast because of my appearance. That comment didnít go well with the others, and Iím thinking thatís why I was voted out. There is no other reason, since I worked hard and got along with everyone. Anyway, it doesnít matter that I got the boot, because my life is complete now that Iíve exchanged words with my true love, Shawna. Did I mention that I donít like Roger. He stinks like spoiled vinegar, too. All I got to say is that Roger needs a reality check. Oh well! I had a good time, and til I'm reunited once more with my fair Shawna, Iíll be dreaming of her at Loser Lodge.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this article.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.