Big Brother 8/17 Recap…A Drama Queen Exits Through the Rear
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Welcome back hamster lovers. This past week has been very exciting in the BB house with the return of past contestants, the possibility of an overthrown HOH and tonight the BB Prom. I can remember my prom like yesterday and I can’t wait to see if the BB one has a streaker, a student kicked out for hooking up with a teacher, and everyone taken down with food poisoning. Oh the prom memories. Good times, good times!
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
It’s day 46 in the BB house and Janelle is holding the HOH power for the 3rd time this season. Danielle and Erika were put on the block but Danielle won the power of veto and was able to remove herself. The veto ceremony has just taken place and Janelle replaced Danielle with Marcellus. After the ceremony is over Erika is pleased that Marcellus has been but on the block because she thinks she has a better chance of saving herself. Marcellus is none too happy but surprisingly is holding it together pretty well. I was hoping for a little crying because I do love to see grown men cry on national television.
Erika and Marcellus are discussing the ceremony and they have agreed that they are not going to campaign to stay in the house. As soon as Erika leaves the room Marcellus goes to Danielle and begs her for her vote to stay in the house. I have never seen anything this pathetic before in my life except for maybe when Chase was begging to stay in the house. Danielle does not guarantee him a vote unless he stops wearing that stupid bathrobe and we know that will never happen so her vote will be for Erika.
Will and Boogie definitely want Marcellus to go this week even after they promised Janelle she should just put him up as a pawn. Janelle of course fell for their plan after Will batted his eyes at her. Heck who am I kidding, if Will batted his eyes at me I think I would fall under his spell. That man has become so attractive to me this season I don’t know what that is all about? The Legion of Doom wants Marcellus out and Will is going to convince Janelle that he needs to go. Will has already convinced me that he needs to go.
In the HOH room Marcellus and Janelle are discussing the ceremony and Janelle tells Marcellus that Chill Town promised her they would keep him safe. Marcellus is shocked that Janelle has fallen under their control. He goes to Will and Boogie to make sure that they are not planning to vote him out. They comfort him and tell him they will keep him safe. Marcellus walks away with stars in his eyes believing everything they have just said. I am starting to believe that Will is a hypnotist and has put everyone under his control. As soon as he leaves Will and Boogie mock him for his stupidity and I mock him because Will tells me to.
Porn & Pushing
Julie gathers the hamsters to talk with them about the week’s activities. All the houseguests are dressed in their finest prom attire. Howie has somehow gone from creepy guy to 80’s porn star in his prom attire. He even has the dirty porn star mustache that I assume all porn stars sport. I think Howie is hoping to get an acting call this time around and has turned desperate enough to try and entice the Spice channel for work.
Julie wants to know how they feel about the “ghosts” in the house this past week. She then shows the clip of Boogie seeing the ghost and screaming like a girl as he pushes everyone down so he can run out of the room. It is exactly like an episode of Seinfeld were George pushes the grandma down so he can be the first out of the house during a child’s birthday party. Like George, Boogie claims to be “leading” everyone to safety. I sure hope the BB house does not catch on fire because everyone will perish after being pushed down by Boogie as he makes a record getting out the door.
Your Mamma Wears Combat Boots
It’s filler time on BB and tonight we have a head to head competition betweens Janelle and Danielle’s mothers. Whose daughter is better? I don’t know and I really don’t care. Janelle’s mother tells us that her daughter blossomed at 15 and has always had issues with other girls being jealous of her. I feel so bad for her. She is hated because she is beautiful and all other women are cretins. Life is so tough! Danielle’s mother tells us that Dani was a tomboy growing up and became pregnant at 15. She was forced to grow up really fast after that. I know all too well. I have watched the movie 15 and Pregnant starring Kirsten Dunst and she does have a tough time after she has her baby. Everything I know I learned from bad Lifetime movies.
Interviewing an Airhead
It’s time for Julie to sit down and have a hard-hitting interview with the current HOH, Janelle. She first asks Janelle about her loyalty to James. Janelle tells Julie that she wanted to trust him but after the veto competition she is really starting to question it. She then giggles and I want to smack her with a brick and tell her to wake up and start paying attention to what is going on in the game. Julie now wants to know how her relationship with Marcellus is. Janelle tells her that they are trying to work it out and be friends. Once again, Janelle needs to be slapped because that man has so worked her that when she watches the tapes of this season she should never speak to him again. She then is asked if she has a secret alliance with him. Janelle tells Julie she can’t trust him anymore. For once she is getting smart although she has giggled the whole interview and I am questioning her sanity.
Spool of Lies
This past week the hamsters were told that they could win a special prize by guessing a popular BB phrase. They would be given 3 clues throughout the week. They could have one guess and the winner would know when they won and be told what the prize was. The first clue they were given was a live sheep or ewe. The second clue was a large spool of thread with a giant needle. The third and final clue was the grim reaper. Everyone started making guesses. Boogie guessed, “You reap what you sew.” Janelle answered with “You sew what you reap.” Tonight we found out that Boogie was the winner of the Coup d’ etat.
Thursday morning Boogie was called into the diary room and told what he won. He can overthrow the nominations and replace them with anyone except the HOH and the veto winner. Everyone will vote immediately following except for him and the HOH. If a tie happens he will be the tiebreaker. He is not allowed to tell any of his houseguest that he has won or what he has won. After he is told this information he is speechless for the first time, ever. I am sad that we only had about 3 seconds of quietness. It’s too bad that he didn’t scream so loud in excitement that he completely lost his voice…forever.
A Snake Getting on a Plane
It’s live eviction time. Erika and Marcellus are given one last chance to plead their case. Erika tells the group if they can use her in their strategy then keep her in the game and if not, vote her out. That is an awesome speech from someone who sounds like they want a 5th place finish. Marcellus goes next and he tells everyone he is not going to make a big speech. He wants to play the game how he thinks he should. If anyone lied to his face they should send him out. Two losers are on the block and at this point it really doesn’t matter who goes home next.
Boogie “Damn my hair looks good against my stylish white suit.” Votes for Marcellus
Howie “I sure hope my first porn has girls with big boobies.” Votes for Marcellus
James “I think I am so much smarter and better looking than Will.” Votes for Marcellus
Will “You are sleepy, very, very sleepy.” Votes for Marcellus
Chicken George “So hungry. Must not think of real food for another 30 days.” Votes for Marcellus
Danielle “I feel bad doing this but nothing will stop me from winning.” Votes for Marcellus
Marcellus is evicted from the house by a vote of 6-0. He is the first houseguest to go into sequester and be part of the jury. I hope Marcellus sleeps sound tonight knowing that everyone lied to his face.
Marcellus joins Julie on the couch for his first interview since being evicted. Julie wants to know what he thinks of Janelle. He tells her that she lies just like she is breathing. He tells her it’s a game and you are emotional. He tried to not talk trash but he did talk a big game. He tells her if it came down to it he would not have put Janelle on the block. I want to remind Marcellus that he is out of the game and he has no reason to continue lying. Julie wants to know how he feels about Danielle now. Marcellus has forgiven her and let go of all the anger he felt towards her. Marcellus then voices his anger at having to go stay in a house in Tahiti for the next couple of weeks while the game plays out. I feel so bad for him. Having to live in a gorgeous house on the beach while not working or doing anything. Life is sure tough for him.
The hamsters all gather in the backyard for the HOH competition. Each houseguest has a picture of themselves from their own prom back in the day. Julie announces that Janelle was elected Prom Queen by America and gets to wear a tiara while she watches the competition. That was the least shocking announcement I have ever heard. America picked a Season 6 person for something? Surely those results are made up.
Each hamster stands in front of their photo and is blindfolded. America was asked to vote for class elections online and the hamsters have to figure out whom they were talking about. If the hamsters get a question right they can step forward. The first person to reach the end wins HOH.
Who did America vote the most intelligent, Will or Danielle? Will was the answer and everyone except for Danielle and Erika move forward. Who is the biggest whiner, James or Marcellus? Marcellus, everyone moves except for Will. Who is the worst dressed, George or Howie? George is the answer and only Danielle and James move forward. Who is the best dressed, Janelle or Marcellus? Janelle, and everyone but Boogie moves forward. Who is the life of the party, Boogie or Howie? Howie, Danielle and James move forward while Boogie sulks in the corner. Who is most likely to break hearts, Will or Boogie? Will and everyone but James moves forward. Who is most likely to win the Noble Peace Prize, Erika or George? George and the only one to move is George. Who is the biggest flirt, Janelle or Howie? Janelle and everyone but Erika and James move forward.
That was the last question and there is a tie between Danielle and Chicken George for HOH. They each grab their chalkboard and are asked to write down how many minutes the BB house went without hot water. George writes down 360 and Danielle writes down 308. George wins HOH for the first time this season. I wish he would do the chicken dance to celebrate.
Time to Announce the Prom Court
The shocker tonight is that it is double eviction week in the BB House. Chicken George’s first duty, as HOH is to immediately nominate two people to be on the block. He stands up and tells James and Erika they are being nominated. I am happy with his decision and decide to reevaluate my opinion of him. He may dress crazy and have a silly name but he is in this game…to maybe even win.
Make sure to tune in Sunday night to see who is evicted from the BB house and if the Coup d’ etat is used. Also watch as poor Chicken George is stripped of his HOH title after only 3 short days in power and another sad sack takes over the HOH room.
If you would like to see America vote in 5 bags of venomous snakes to make the Big Brother house more interesting, email me at [email]
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