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When we left the Big Brother household on Thursday, they had just begun an endurance competition that had them hanging around on a giant spider’s web, getting sprayed with spider foam and scrambling to hold on. You can read all about the beginning of the competition here in Yardgnome’s most excellent recap.
Just Hanging Around
Tonight’s episode continues with the houseguests struggling to keep from falling off. Too bad they’re not really flies in a web, because that way at least they wouldn’t be pulling their arms and legs out of socket trying to hold on. To make matters worse, the spider emits a high pitched screech as it sprays the foam on everyone. Someone needs to climb up to the spider’s mouth and put a sock in it. Chicken George wonders if the foam is edible but quickly spits it out when he licks it from his lips. Jeez, George must be starving, because I can’t think of any tasty foam food item.
Will is the first out, which comes as no surprise to anyone, least of all his pal Mike Boogie. Mike jokes that he’s looking for a new alliance as Will casually drops from the spider’s web. Will says he wants one of the spider eggs that are waiting for the first five houseguests eliminated from the competition. Two of the eggs are rotten, one contains ten thousand dollars, one contains a week’s pass from slop and one the ability to nullify a vote. Woo! That one could be the most valuable of all.
Danielle calls out that whomever gets the slop pass needs to give it to George. Will says he won’t do it and Danielle whispers son of a bitch under her breath. Ha-ha, Will says he’s just joking. The egg Will picks turns out to be a rotten. He acts like he doesn’t care; what he really wants is to continue in his attempts to
brainwashtalk to Janelle away from the others.
At the two-hour mark Janelle announces that the houseguests must reposition themselves so that they are hanging from the web by their arms and legs, and the web starts moving around like a ride at an amusement park. Houseguests that were lying in comfortable positions like vacationers in a hammock suddenly fight to stay on while the web flips them sideways and forces them to clutch frantically at the ropes.
James is the next to fall from the spider’s web after repositioning himself one time too many. Hey, that’s the same thing he’s doing in the BB house. James’ egg contents allow the user to nullify one eviction vote. James got lucky with that one.
Next to fall is Mike Boogie. He’s in pain and the thought of possibly winning ten thousand dollars makes it easy for him to drop. Sure enough he gets the golden egg. He pretends to be angry that he fell, but it’s really all an act because he wants the money. Besides, Will has taught him to “work smarter, not harder.” I guess that would work for almost anything, though: “Cheat smarter, not harder”,“lie smarter, not harder”, you get the idea.
Almost immediately behind Mike is Kaysar. One minute he’s entangled in the web and the next he’s lying on the ground. Did he throw the competition? I can’t tell and he doesn’t say. He gets a rotten egg for his efforts, and the call immediately goes up for Chicken George to drop, since the only remaining egg has the slop-free week pass. Georgie is focused on the competition and refuses to give up.
Next to drop is Marcellas, who breaks the egg to get the slop pass and kicks the broken egg, distributing egg-goo on James. Marcellas wanted to win HOH for the week, but winning the slop pass is okay, too. Plus he got to drench James in that slimy-looking stuff. It’s a win-win situation for Marcellas.
Ten minutes later Chicken George finally goes down to a round of applause from his fellow houseguests. They congratulate him for hanging on so long. He says he’s not a quitter, he just couldn’t do it anymore.
Howie, Erika and Danielle remain on the web. Howie grimaces and Danielle struggles to hang on. Erika looks serene, like she could hang from the web for another day or so. Danielle tells Erika she’s out, than changes her mind at the last minute, getting a fresh grip. Now her strategy is begging Howie to drop. She (and Erika) promise Howie he’s safe this week, and he lets go to fall to the ground. Danielle tells Erika to give the win to her, and Erika replies You got it, easing herself down.
Danielle screams and poses like Rocky and for the first time this season someone besides a season 6’er has won HOH. Janelle looks like she’s sucking on sourballs. She knows (and so does everyone else) that she’s the first one in Danielle’s sights. In the DR Danielle says “The Black Widow is back. I have a web of deception and I’m ready to catch a whole bunch of houseflies.” Whatever, I’m ready for some fresh blood in the HOH room.
The Legion of Doom Goes To Work
Every alliance has to have a cool name. Chilltown and The Sovereign Six struck fear in the hearts of their fellow houseguests during their respective seasons. Well, The Sovereign Six inspired more lip curling and derision than fear, but it’s the thought that counts. Anyway, Danielle and James meet for a private little tete-a-tete and slap high fives on their brand new alliance: The Legion of Doom. Sounds like a rated-M-for-mature video game, but that would mean James couldn’t join.
James meets with the other members of his season 6 alliance. Howie wonders if he’s safe and James assures Howie that he is. James feels pretty good about his position too, and says there’s no way in the world that Danielle is going after Kaysar this week. That leaves Janelle. James tells her that she has put all of them in a precarious position by going after the floaters, and that he’d be worried if he was Marcellas. Janie isn’t too worried. She thinks she can get more votes than Marcellas if Danielle puts them both up. In the DR James calls Janelle an Anna-Nicole Smith wanna-be and says she’s the dumbest person ever to play the game. Oh, I really want James to go home. Now. Please, please please let the foreshadowing be true.
It’s A Whole New HOH Room!
Danielle’s HOH room looks like a negative of Janelle’s, only for everything in Janie’s room that was pink, Dani has it in green. Danielle gets misty-eyed looking at pictures of her family. Chicken George is unexpectedly touched when he realizes that he is the only houseguest that can empathize with Danielle, as they are the only ones with spouses and children. He loves Danielle’s HOH room. I really want to like George but he always sounds like Forrest Gump in his DR sessions. That’s all I have to say about that.
Food For Thought
The pantry has been restocked and since most of the houseguests have been on slop for the past week there’s a mad dash to the kitchen where they find Pizza! They fall on it like ravening wolves. Well, all except Georgie, who lies on his bed, head in hands. Marcellas rolls his eyes and, pizza in one hand, slop pass in the other, marches into George’s room and hands him the slop pass. A minor skirmish ensues as George turns down the pass and Marcellas keeps pressing him to take it. George finally relents. Praise the Lord and pass the pizza. I wouldn’t want to be in Georgie’s shoes after the pizza settles into his digestive tract, but he’s happy as a pig in slop for now.
Other Zany Goings-On This Week
Howie is now referring to himself in third person as Big-Boy. Will nicknamed him that because he eats all the time - hotdogs, ice cream, candy, sandwiches four at a time. You name it; it’s sliding down Howie’s gullet at an alarming rate. Will says Howie’s caloric intake is on the level of a hippopotamus and likens him a mayonnaise-eating bear. Eww. Finally Danielle confronts him with his eating habits. She tells him he’s put on weight. Of course Howie is concerned that he has a fat face. She tells him no, but she can tell he’s gained weight. Alarmed by the prospect of being fat (oh the horror of it) Howie says he’ll exercise. Howie could do calisthenics from now until doomsday and still not work off the amount of M&M’s he’s swallowing.
Will hurt his back after picking Mike up while celebrating Mike’s POV win. Kaysar offers to pop his back. As it turns out, Kaysar has seen a chiropractor crack someone’s back once. Will gets pretty uncomfortable with another man touching him in his bathing suit area (homophobic much?) so Danielle takes over. She gets grossed out by the muscles on his back and gives up. Kaysar throws a blanket over Will so he doesn’t have to actually touch him and tries once more. I don’t know if Will ever got better, I was too busy laughing at grown men that run around with only shorts on being so uncomfortable about someone else touching them.
The Spider Takes The Flies
The Legion of Doom has another clandestine meeting, and Danielle tells James she wants to put him up as a pawn against Janelle. James gulps and calls her plan nuts. She reassures him that he’ll be safe. He’s the Veto King, and anyway she needs to give the impression that she and James are not that close. James talks himself into it; he can beat Janelle because she’s not the same girl she was last year, she’s a fat piece of crap.
Marcellas meets with Danielle and he’s full of helpful advice too, offering up Kaysar and Janelle for nominations. Even Danielle seems a little taken aback by Marcellas. Um, I thought Janelle was your girl, Marcellas. She laughs in the DR that Marcellas has thrown his girl under a semi.
In an HOH meeting with Kaysar, Danielle asks him if he or Janelle has a deal with Chilltown. Kaysar says no, but can’t tell Danielle why Janelle didn’t nominate Chilltown when she was HOH. Kaysar seems a little uncomfortable, even when Danielle tells him that he’s the only other person she trusts in the house. He says that he thought she and James were friends. She shakes her head: she’s in the game for herself. I don’t know. Kaysar reminds me of a stuffed animal this season. He’s cute to look at and all, but he’s just sitting on a shelf for the most part. I don’t know if it’s his strategy or he’s scared to make a move.
With a totally different HOH this week all bets are off. Danielle is gunning for season 6’ers and her nominations will surely include two of them. The houseguests sit around the table as Danielle begins the ceremony. She says that her decision was based on last week’s nominations and POV ceremony. She draws out the first key: It’s Erika’s. Following Erika are Howie, George, Mike Boogie, Marcellas and Will. Kaysar sits with a small smile on his face, shaking his head. He’s sure he’s been nominated, but he solemnly accepts the key when Will proffers it. Danielle informs the group that she’s nominated James and Janelle as they are the two bad-asses of their alliance. She wants them to battle it out for the POV. “It is what it is.” she says matter-of-factly. No sugarcoating for Danielle! I can’t wait for Tuesday to see who will win the POV.
I’d like to throw the next person that says “It is what it is” under a bus. You too? Email me at Dinahann@fansofrealitytv.com