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……or at least everywhere that mute buttons don’t exist. Is it me or has Mary Murphy’s cackle gotten worse as this season has progressed? It’s like she’s now doing an imitation of herself. Whenever that woman speaks, I reach for the remote. In spite of the fact that I watched at least a third of the show without sound, here I am recapping for you. This week, we’re down to eight remaining dancers and two more are going home tonight. There’ll be lots of filler, some dancing and an ocean of tears. Who from? Let’s find out!

Tonight’s opening number performed to “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago, was choreographed by Tyce Diorio. The dancers are all clad in white wife-beaters and black pants with black gloves. It’s a very Bob Fosse kind of a deal, as it probably should be. They all look great, although the way they’ve styled Allison makes me do a double-take. I thought they’d brought back Ashlee.

Cat comes out to introduce the first segment of filler and clips. Before the recap of last night’s show begins, Cat tells us that a record ten million votes were placed last night. That means that either lots of people voted or, like, ten 14-year old girls have some really sore fingers tonight.

It’s time for a little chit-chat with Cat and the judges. Is Nigel surprised at the top eight? Not really. He says that this all subjective and it’s about what America wants. For Nigel, the important thing is that the show is bringing dancing to television. He even thinks that the success of (*gasp*) Dancing With the Stars is a great thing because it brings dance to the public. Cat asks Mary’s choice for most improved dancer and she quickly names Ivan. She originally didn’t want him in the top twenty and he’s really surprised her. Dan is quizzed about the rigors of being a contestant on this show. He tells Cat that the dancers are unbelievable. In the dance world, dancers generally specialize but in this competition, versatility is the key.

Now that we’ve gotten some new stuff, it’s time for some rehashing of last night’s show. If you missed it, you can read all the details in waywyrd's terrific recap.

The Worst of the Best
Cat’s ready to reveal the four dancers who are at risk this week. She calls the girls forward first and we learn that Natalie and Allison are the bottom two girls. The guys are up next and Cat breaks the news to Ryan and Travis: they’re the bottom two guys tonight. Each dancer will perform a solo. The votes are already in, so this is really just another way to fill up the time. Or as Cat dramatically put it, it’s the last time we may ever see these dancers on this stage.

Natalie performs to “Veins” by Charlotte Martin. It’s very frenetic and slightly odd: kind of like contemporary at really high speed. She’s totally out of breath when she joins Cat and the judges. Nigel says that if Natalie is voted off tonight, America has gotten in wrong. Mary calls her a star, while Dan calls her a strong and incredible dancer. He notes that, every time she’s on stage, you can see how much she loves to dance and perform.

Next up is Ryan with his usual contemporary routine, this time to Chris Brown’s “Just Fine.” The routine starts out slow, but then picks up a bit. He might not be able to connect with the audience as well as some of the others but man, that kid has great technique. Nigel says that Ryan has so much going for him and calls his technique “brilliant.” Nigel thinks that Ryan may lack confidence in himself, not as a dancer, but as a person. Mary tells Ryan that he has the most gentle soul, but he dances with the power of a lion. Rawr! Dan is glad that Ryan finally got the chance in this competition to show everyone how good he really is.

Here comes Allison dancing to “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble. I resist the urge to mute and focus on her dancing. She proves how tough this competition has really gotten. Nigel claims to be running out of superlatives. He says that each of the four remaining girls is fantastic. He says that Allison has so much to give to the world of dance. Mary just screams and I can’t mute fast enough. That woman could find side work haunting houses. Dan compliments Allison saying that she is, hands down, the most versatile dancer on the show.

Travis is last to perform tonight. He dances a contemporary routine to Daniel Bedingfield’s “Gotta Get Through This.“ That boy can dance. Sorry Ivan fans, but there’s no way Travis should be in the bottom two this week. He kills. Travis always succeeds in making Nigel smile at the end of his routines. He asserts that it is a travesty that Travis in the bottom two: he definitely should not be here tonight. Mary agrees with Nigel: there is no way Travis should be in the bottom two. Maybe he had an off week, but he’s had some of the most brilliant dance moments on the show. Dan says that last year’s winner, Nick, won because he was a brilliant dancer with a great personality on stage. He feels Travis has the same qualities.

Busta Mute!
It’s time for Busta Rhymes and my mute button! He’s performing songs from his new album, which I will never buy. Since this isn’t So You Think You Can Rap, I’m moving right part this part. I will say that, while I had the sound off, I saw Busta leading the audience in a kind of hip hop Hokey Pokey and it made me laugh. But it was more of a “funny sad” than a “funny ha ha.”

Before Cat shatters the dreams of two more dancers, Nigel has news: the tour is officially on. Tickets go on sale August 12. Mark your calendars!

Cat welcomes the top eight back to the stage for the last time. Allison and Natalie join Cat for the announcement. Holding hands while both giggling and crying, they await the decision. Allison is out. Ivan looks both devastated and shocked. Natalie cries, but Allison doesn’t look too surprised. Cat pries Natalie off Allison and gets her to go sit down so we can all watch Allison’s “journey video.” By the time the video is over, Natalie’s makeup is running down her legs. The other dancers give Allison a standing ovation as she takes the stage to perform to Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work,” which was really a better song when Kate Bush sang it. Allison really works her last few seconds on camera, playing off of Travis and dancing around him.

Now it’s time to find out which guy will be leaving us. Travis and Ryan take center stage and Cat breaks the news to Ryan – he’s going home. Like Allison, Ryan doesn’t seem too surprised and neither am I. Cat shoos Travis off to sit down so we can watch Ryan’s journey video. Man, that boy has killer technique. Ryan dances for the last time to “Ain't No Way (But You Won't Love Me)” by Chris Brown. Hmmmm… you think someone just bought Chris Brown’s CD?

Well folks, we’re down to six. Next week, we’ll say goodbye to two more dancers and I’ll be here with my mute button at the ready.

Is Mary’s voice a weapon of mass destruction? Email your opinion to Critical@fansofrealitytv.com