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Thread: Big Brother 7/27 Recap…An Ass Gets it Through the Backdoor

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    Big Brother 7/27 Recap…An Ass Gets it Through the Backdoor

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    Greetings all. Tonight I am a little concerned about my Big Brother viewing. Storms are rolling into the area and I have a satellite dish. I am really concerned I may miss out on some of the filler that they load this show with. How will I get to know the houseguests more intimately if my dish goes out? Will I be able to catch hard-hitting interviews by Julie if I lose my signal? I am so concerned about what I might miss that I almost forget to watch the 10 minute recap of the past two shows that I already watched. So let’s batten down the hatches and hope that my dish does not get struck by lightening so I can bring you readers the most thorough recap of filler possible.

    This past week on Big Brother lots has been happening in the house. The Sovereign 4 are still in control of the house when James took the HOH. Chicken George and Will were put on the block for eviction until the Chicken man did the unheard of and took the veto competition. George removed himself from the block and James put Jase up in his spot. Who will be going home tonight, Will or Jase? Will Julie be dressed like a fool? Should this show be cut down to a 10 minute special? All this and more will hopefully be answered.

    The Trials and Tribulations of Jase & Will

    It’s day 25 in the Hamster house and Jase has just been put on the block. This move has upset him so much he throws a 5 year old tantrum by standing in the corner holding his breath until someone notices him. The problem is no one cares and he passes out and is never heard from again. I am sorry, that did not happen, but I would not mind if it did. After his little fit Jase decides that he really wants out of the game, they should keep Will and kick him out. He then goes into some rant about how he should be on Survivor. I really wonder why he thinks he would do well on Survivor. First off, there are no mirrors on the island. Second, the loud and obnoxious freak is usually first to go. Jase if these thoughts ever cross your mind again try camping in the backyard and I am sure you will see why you are Big Brother material.

    After Dr. Will’s speech to the houseguest about hating them all and wanting to leave the house he decides he should talk to Boogie and set the record straight. He tells Boogie he does not hate him, although he might start if doesn’t stop wearing those stupid sweatbands on his arm. He tells Boogie that he was hoping to take the target off his back with that speech and that him and Boogie are still tight.

    Outside Jase and Chicken George are sitting around talking. George asks Jase if he really wants to go home. Jase tells him his reasons for staying and going are the same. Before he says anything I assume it’s the mirror situation. Here in the hamster house the mirrors are large and luxurious, but he does have to share them with others. At home in his own home the mirrors might be smaller but he can hog them all to himself. I am wrong, he wants to stay and go for his girls. I know deep down I am right.

    An Erotic Journey from Milan to Minsk
    What happens next is one of the most odd clips Big Brother can possible show. If anything ever rings trying to up the ratings it’s this next scene. Janelle and Erika are in the HOH bathtub together, enjoying a nice bath because that is what girls ALWAYS do together, as well as topless pillow fights. They start calling for the foulest man in the house Mike Boogie to join them. He of course comes running in and you can see his jaw drop to the floor. He jumps into the middle of them and they start putting suds all over his dirty body and rubbing him down and you can see his eyes roll back in his head. Now, if I were a dirty old man I would keep going with this but since I am a young female who writes porn recaps I will stop now. If you are craving more I suggest hitting some Pay Per View on your TV or using your imagination.

    Jase Makes Friends
    After finally scrubbing my eyes cleaned from what I was just subjected to with that bathtub scene I am finally ready to get back to the show. Jase and Marcellas are talking and Jase is so mad that he is getting backdoored. Marcellas informs Jase that people are afraid of him after his little outburst in the backyard. Jase yells at him and gets mad and storms out of the room. Jase cries in the bathroom and wonders why everyone is afraid of him as he plots each of their deaths on some toilet paper scraps.

    After his little chat with Marcellas, Jase goes to get comfort from his friend and secret alliance partner Diane. She tells him he needs 5 votes in order to be able to stay in the game. Jase thinks he can count on Diane, Danielle and Chicken George for their votes. He is going to try and work on Kayser for his. He has inhaled too many hair product fumes if he thinks that will happen.

    20 Minutes of Filler Starts…NOW

    The houseguests are all gathered in the living room for their weekly chat with Julie. Julie points out that Kayser and Chicken George are now bald. Marcellas thinks that Kayser is even cuter bald. I liked his curly hair better. Kayser tells Julie that he has no regrets in forfeiting his chances at competing for the next veto competition because he needed to take some risks. Will tells Julie he still hates everyone and nothing has changed since his speech. I respect him more since his speech, which was an awesome move. Finally, to end this horrible piece, Chicken George tells Julie that the slop is giving him gas. I am glad to know that. I was planning to go to an all slop diet but now I won’t since the repercussions could be embarrassing.

    Does Anyone Really Care Who the Real Chicken George Is?
    It’s montage time on Big Brother. Tonight we get to find out about the real Chicken George. Is he putting on a big show in the house or is this his real personality. Sadly, he confirms this is his real personality. When he first entered the house people thought nothing of him, then he took the veto competition and made them all bow down to the Church of Chicken George. At this point in the program I start to pray that the weather really takes a turn for the worse and my dish does go out. My prayers are answered. My dish does go out. I jump around the house in celebration. I can’t believe my luck! I hope no one is sad that I can’t recap the rest of this montage.

    Speaking to a Frail Man
    At this point my dish is still out so I need to come up with an alternate plan on viewing the rest of the show. I turn the dish off and start watching on fuzzy local cable. Julie is interviewing James. She wants to know if he went back on his word by putting Jase on the block. James does not think he did, he had to do what he thought was best. Julie is wondering how he went from hating to respecting Chicken George. He said George’s role in the veto competition made him look at him in a different light. He now wants to take him under his wing. Julie wants to know were his loyalties lie, with Chill Town or Sovereign 4. James tells her that he is loyal to season 6 and Danielle, he can’t trust Will but he does not mind making him believe that he does.

    He’s Just So Evil
    Okay, montage time again, I can only hope to be lucky two times in one night and lose my cable again. Tonight its time to find out if Dr Will is really all that evil or if he is really a cute kitty inside. He has been called the best and most ruthless player in Big Brother history. Dr. Will’s super hot brother Ian tells us that Will has been one of the most intimidating and straight forward players to ever be on the show. Shannon his ex from his season tells us her and Will have not spoken in a couple of years. Their personalities clashed and they just did not work out. This is really a horrible piece and I don’t understand how it’s helping me find out who is getting evicted. Please, let my TV spontaneously combust.

    Kicking an Ass in the Ass
    We are finally at eviction time and it seems like tonight’s episode has been the longest episode in history. Jase and Will are each given a minute to say their final words to the hamsters. Jase tells everyone he is not mad at them. Crazy people make poor decisions. That is obvious by the outfit Jase has chosen and his assortment of mandannas he wears. He hates the way he is leaving the house and he only wants Diane and Danielle to escort him to the door. As he is finishing his speech he gets all choked up and I cheer. I live to see men cry on reality TV.

    Will is next and tells everyone he does not hate them at all. He apologizes and tells them he should have said dislike or strong disdain.

    Julie comes back and opens the envelope. Is it really that important that the results are sealed in an envelope? I am surprised they don’t have a man in a suit representing the accounting firm of Price Waterhouse Coopers, deliver the envelope after the votes have been officially tallied. With a vote of 9 to 0 Jase has been evicted. As Jase is leaving the house he tells everyone he will be back in two weeks. Who does he think he is, Kayser? Although, if he did come back in it would be awesome to evict him a 3rd time by the backdoor method to really teach him a lesson.

    That Man Has Some Big Hair
    As soon as Jase is out of the house he goes over for his interview with Julie. As he sits down Julie gets a little huffy with him because the height of his hair is rivaling hers and I don’t think she cares for that kind of competition. Julie wants to know why Jase got all choked up. He tells her it hurt to get backdoored again and he would be great on Survivor. Once again with the Survivor thing, Richard Hatch would eat Jase alive. She then asks him about the old Jase making an appearance this season. Jase says that happened because James lied to him. That makes no sense to me but Julie thinks it’s a great answer, proving she is an idiot. Julie asks him if he watched season 6 because James proved he is not to be trusted. Jase tells her he knows and that he also should not be trusted. I hope his future wife is watching this interview and taking some notes. She wants to know if James could trust him and he tells her to a point.

    Julie then asks him if it was a mistake to try and play alone. He tells her he had Diane and that was it for alliances. Julie then asks if the Mr. & Mrs. Smith is real. He tells her he can’t confirm or deny that. This was one of the worst interviews I have ever seen. Horrible questions were asked, answers were given to some other questions I was not aware of. When the interview is done Julie asks Jase if he has any final thoughts. He tells her he hopes to go to some beach for a couple of weeks and then come back into the house and rip it up. I hate Jase!

    Dismissed!
    The show is finally winding down and it’s HOH time. The competition is called define and dismiss. Each person has a buzzer and the first person to buzz and answer the question correctly gets to eliminate someone from the competition. If they give the wrong answer they are out. The questions will focus on the six words that are on the walls of the house: Hate, Betrayal, Honesty, Loyalty, Love and Deceit.

    First question is what words definition contains the word dislike? Marcellas answers with the word hate and he is right. He eliminates Boogie. The second question is what words definition contains the word unfaithful? Kayser answers with betrayal and he is right and eliminates Diane. The third question is what words definition contains the word integrity? Will answers with honesty and he is right and eliminates his sexual harasser Howie. The fourth question is what words definition contains the word upright? Will answers with loyalty and he is wrong eliminating himself.

    Fifth question is which words definition contains the word enthusiasm? Erika answers with love and she is right and eliminates Chicken George. The sixth question is what words definition contains the word dessert. Kayser answers with betrayal and he is right eliminating Erika. The seventh question is what words definition contains the word sneakiness? Janelle answers with deceit and is right eliminating Danielle. The eight question is what words definition contains the word intense? Marcellas answers with hate and he is right and eliminates Kayser.

    It’s now down to Janelle and Marcellas, whoever gets it right, will be the new HOH. The last question is what words definition contains the word obligation? Janelle answers with loyalty and she is right making her the new HOH. The sovereign 4 will once again rule the household making the show a little tiresome.

    After we come back from break Julie does a little impromptu interview with Will. She wants to know if he still feels disdain for everyone. He does and wants to be put up on the block this week. If only the powers that be would step in and say, “You got it.” Now stop throwing that around Will, it’s getting a little old.

    Next Week on Big Brother
    Make sure to tune in Sunday night to watch the food competition and the nominations ceremony. If that is not enough come back on Tuesday to watch the veto competition and ceremony. If you like punishment you will come back for the live show on Thursday and immediately hate yourself once you are done viewing all the crap they stuff it with.

    If you used to think Jase was hot but then his talking and behavior made you secretly hate him feel free to email me at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 07-28-2006 at 02:17 PM.

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