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Thread: Big Brother 7/13 Recap…A Satisfying Eviction

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    Jul 2003
    Harnessing my evil for good.

    Big Brother 7/13 Recap…A Satisfying Eviction

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    Well hello everyone. It’s live eviction night on Big Brother so we can hopefully expect lots to happen. Will Alison or Danielle be leaving the house tonight to return home to a family that is shunning them for their poor behavior? Will Howie attempt to make out with Dr. Will on live television? Will Julie Chen look like a common street whore with her clothing choice tonight? All I can predict is yes, yes and YES!

    On Tuesday night we saw what the hamsters were up to their first week in the house. Howie and Dr. Will have started to develop a relationship with each other but in very different respects. Dr. Will would like Howie as a number in his alliance for voting and Howie would like to cuddle and snuggle with Dr. Will when the lights get turned down. Danielle and Alison both pleaded for the veto and to be kept in the house. The veto competition took place and Janelle was able to secure her nominations.

    Tonight we find out who will be leaving the Big Brother house forever to never come back even if they do Big Brother All Stars part deux. Right CBS? We will also see the lively HOH competition in which one of the season sixers’ better win or they are going to be sitting ducks.

    Believing your lies makes them true. Right?
    Kicking the show off tonight we are greeted by Julie Chen wearing one of the most horrifying outfits ever. It looks like something crazy Santino, from Project Runway, created for some Sci-Fi challenge on the top with sensible slacks underneath. As the camera zooms in I scratch my eyes because I think I am seeing things, but no, it looks like she actually has on pleather pants. To make matters even worse she does not seem embarrassed about her outfit. If I were her, someone would be losing their job over that abomination.

    Julie jumps right in letting everyone know what has been going on in the house since Tuesday night’s episode. Alison and Danielle are still on the block and both are trying to get the votes to be able to stick around another week. Alison tells the diary room that she is “the most vengeful bitch in the house.” I nod my head in agreement at that obvious statement. Danielle is trying to play clean this season and I think back to the first episode and how she was the first to start stirring the pot. She obviously is living in a delusional world with fairies and rainbows.

    Making False Promises
    It’s time to get into all the plotting and scheming that has been going on this week. Danielle corners Chicken George in the food storage room and asks him who he is voting for and who all the others are voting for. George does not know who the others are voting for but he promises her that he will vote to keep her around. They shake hands sealing an alliance or a lie. Only time will tell the truth on that one.

    Nakomis and Alison are talking outside and Alison wants to know if they are in an alliance together with Diane. Nakomis tells her she thinks so.

    Meanwhile somewhere else in time and in the house, Danielle and Janelle are talking about the vote. Danielle wants Janelle to know that she has no plans to go after the season 6 alliance. She wants to know whose vote she has. Janelle tells her she has Kayser, James, Howie and Erika. Marcellas’s vote is still unknown. Danielle is hoping she can get Dr. Will to vote for her and then Boogie will follow and she will have enough votes to stay another week.

    Jase, Dr. Will and Boogie are all hanging out in the backyard with their shirts off. I don’t have a problem with that. Will asks Jase who is going home and Jase tells him he has no idea at this point. Boogie says that if Danielle goes home and Alison stays the fighting between Alison and Janelle is going to be off the hook. I think he is very turned out by this idea and I silently weep to myself.

    A Chain of Losers
    Jase talks with Alison and tells her that she has him, Diane, Nakomis, Dr. Will and Boogie all on her side. Alison takes this information and goes to talk with Diane who tells her that is not enough people for her to stay. I am just confused that Alison could not figure that one out on her own. They agree they need to work on Marcellas, James and Chicken George.

    Alison goes to speak with James. James tells her no one has approached him yet about who he is voting for so he will listen to her. She tells him that she will never get Kayser, James, or Erika’s vote. She tries to convince him to vote with her and James keeps agreeing with her stringing her along. He wants to know if she has the vote of “the others” at this point. I really don’t see how they matter, they are from a TV show and a little scary with all their child kidnapping and don’t come to this side of the island nonsense. After his conversation with Alison, James admits he wants her out of the house.

    Meanwhile in the bedroom, Boogie is sleeping. James comes in and wakes him up and I am excited because I think we are going to get some juicy information if he had to wake Boogie up. James tells Boogie that Alison is a liar. That is it? If I was Boogie I would be livid that someone just woke me up to tell me something that I already knew. James is lucky he didn’t get punched. After that little episode Boogie is skeptical of James and his intentions.

    Out in the yard Nakomis and Danielle are talking. Danielle is asking Nakomis where she stands in the house. She also wants Nakomis to know that she is not the same Danielle from season 3, she has changed. I am glad she told Nakomis that because I did not hear Danielle the 500 other times that she told that to the camera and other people. Danielle then goes on to say how she has a job to do while she is here, she needs to bring home the money to her family. If she really wanted to bring the money home she would get a steady job and not go on vacation reality shows in hopes of getting money.

    Up in the HOH bedroom Janelle and Marcellas are talking and Erika comes in to join them. They start discussing who they are going to vote for. Erika admits she is going to vote out Alison and Marcellas is still undecided. He wishes they both could be kicked out this week. I wish Marcellas would get out of LaLa land and start getting serious about this game.

    How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
    It’s time for Julie to check in with the hamsters. She notices that Howie is wearing a shirt that says “Thanks Julie.” She automatically assumes it is for her and I automatically assume it’s for the skanky woman he picked up the night before he moved into the house. Who is right? I like to think I always am.

    Julie asks Howie if he is smitten with the evil Dr. Will. Howie gets a little googly eyed and says that this year Dr. Will came in pale, under weight, and still menacing. I guess we all know Howie’s type now. Then Julie asks Will about the noise keeping him up all night. Will says that if George is trying to get him out of the house with his snoring it is working. Poor George then gets a nice montage of his snoring and people making fun of him. Nothing like having a problem and then being pointed and laughed at by everyone in America.

    I Don’t Have a Problem if you Keep Your Shirt Off
    It’s that time of the show were instead of showing us useful footage the producers think a nice filler piece called the New Jase is a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind extra Jase footage especially if his shirt is off but I can smell useless filler from a mile away.

    Jase is the lovable hamster voted in by American and loved by all his housemates. Did they do a survey of his roommates to find that out or are they only making an assumption. You know what they say about assume…

    We are now treated to a lovely montage of Jase from season 5. This season Jase has become a much more refined player. He is going to be playing a smarter game and win only when he needs to. He is going to try and lay low and work behind the scenes. I really would not have a problem with him doing that if it involved him standing in front of the camera with his shirt off and his chest all oiled up. Sorry, I was a little distracted. Anyways, Jase is going to ride the house like a mechanical bull and we are treated to some nice footage of him literally riding the chair in the diary room. I wonder if that chair got cleaned or the next person in was treated to a little surprise when they say back?

    The Legend of the Sidekicks, is Way Hardcore
    Julie is now going to speak with the HOH’s separately and find out what has been going on this week. Jase is up first. Julie tells Jase that he seems more mature and hot this season. Jase tells her that he recently turned 30 and is a family man now. She then asks him since Janelle was a co-HOH how did that work out. He told her it went amazingly, Janelle took all the heat. Julie also wants to know what he learned about Janelle this week. He tells her that she is hardcore, she really is an All-Star. The final question is who is the biggest threat in the house. Jase tells her that he is. If I was a lady in the house I would agree, as soon as his shirt came off I would not be able to think straight.

    Julie talks next with Janelle. She asks her how a co-HOH affected her strategy. Janelle says that she did not want to throw names out right away, she had to compromise with what Jase wanted. She then asks how strong the season 6 alliance is. Janelle tells her it is the strongest in the house, although she trusts Kayser and Howie the most. Do I see the season 6 alliance crumbling around the edges?

    Dating an Idiot?
    I am so ready at this point to find out who is leaving the house and who the next HOH will be. I look at the clock and see we have about 20 minutes left of the show and I am happy because it is smooth sailing from here on out. Julie comes back to tell us that first we need to find out who the real Alison is. I yell at the TV, she is conniving, lying, and ruining the Amazing Race, reality whore. I guess the producers did not want it summed up in one sentence, they instead want to interview her ex boyfriend and her current one.

    Justin, her ex boyfriend from season 4 says she is an All-Star, she plays like an expert. Frankly I think she is playing a little desperate now. Her current boyfriend, Jason, thinks she got a bad rap on her current season. When the show is over I am going to mail Jason a copy of Alison’s season so he can safely remove his head from the clouds. Justin thinks that her getting in shape was all part of her plan to manipulate the men. Jason says that if she kisses others that would not be good to their relationship. We are then treated to a nice montage of her lying and being trashy. Her parents must be so proud. Jason then ices the cake of delusion when he says that we all need to watch out because Alison could be the next president of the US. I start laughing, really hard. I actually have to pause my TV I am laughing so hard. That was some good stuff.

    Kicking Some Trash to the Curb
    Finally, its time to find out who will be leaving the house and mocked by all internet TV writers. Julie first wants to talk with the nominees and find out their final words. Danielle tells everyone she is honored to be here and she respects and loves everyone. Alison dittos Danielle’s speech and also tells Danielle she is honored to be sitting next to her because she though she was one of the best players in the house.

    With a vote of 8-2, Danielle is safe and Allison is the first evicted. Nakomis and Diane were the two hamsters who tried to keep Allison around. Allison says her goodbyes and leaves the house and hopefully my TV forever.

    Interviewing a Loser
    After leaving the house Alison joins Julie on the couch for some questions. Julie wants to know if Alison is her own worst enemy. Alison blames her changed game play on being older and losing her evil touch. Julie tells her on season 4 you flirted with the guys and that helped but this season you didn’t. Alison claims to be in love now. Julie tells Alison that she called Janelle a series of names this season like Busto, fat and bitch. Alison says that Janelle is not that bad, outside of the house they would probably be friends. The interview is over and so is my attention span.

    Know Thy Roommate
    It’s time for the HOH competition. Before it gets started, Julie announces that this week there will only be 1 HOH. This competition is about how well you know your housemates. This competition will focus solely on Alison who answered questions during the commercial break. All questions need to be answered the way they think Alison would answer them.

    First question, Alison believes Howie is smarter than Will. Everyone answers false and everyone is right. That is kind of like asking is the sun hot? Second question is, the All-Star Allison thought most likely to wear a peanut butter bikini would be Kayser. Everyone answers false and everyone is right.

    Third question is, before entering the house Alison thought her toughest competitor was Erika. The answer was true and the only people to get it right are Kayser and Nakomis, everyone else is out. Fourth question is, the person Alison thought would gain the most weight is Janelle. They both answer true and they both are right. The fifth question is, Alison believes the All-Star to seek revenge using someone’s toothbrush to clean the toilet is Dr. Will. Nakomis answers true and Kayser answers false. The answer is false but Julie starts to congratulate Nakomis on her win. She realizes she is an idiot and she messed-up and congratulates Kayser.

    Kayser is going to be ruling the house this next week as HOH. Who will be nominated? Will there be a food competition? Who will win the golden power of veto? Will it hopefully rain this next week so my garden gets watered? All these and more will be answered next week.

    Next week
    Find out why life will get harder for the hamsters Sunday night at 8 pm. If they want to make life hard for the hamsters they should let me control the BB house. Followed by evil sinister laugh.

    If you ever had a pet hamster as a child named Squeaky, email me at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 07-15-2006 at 12:26 AM.

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