Just Forting Around
So You Think You Can Dance 6/15 Recap: Feet Don't Fail Me Now
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With American Idol having completed its run, Fox is off and running with their latest reality television entry. I’m a first-time viewer of this particular show, but Fox’s cookie-cutter format is easy to recognize. You’ve got your affable, if somewhat inept host, two male judges (one English), one well-oiled female judge, and lots of nubile, eager contestants who are ready, willing and able to hand their futures over to us hapless, cynical viewers. However, as the show opens, and the dancers begin their entire cast production, it becomes clear to me that the budget on this show must be lacking. Half the dancers are barefoot. Apparently there are only so many shoes to go around. I’m guessing that backstage there must be one wicked game of rock, paper, scissors in order to decide who gets to wear the shoes for the night.
For some reason the host, Cat Deeley, opens the show in a giraffe dress, which makes no sense to me. I mean, given her name, shouldn’t she be wearing a Garfield dress or something? Not that I know what a Garfield dress would look like...maybe something with orange and white mock fur...perhaps designed by Santino Rice from Project Runway? Moving on, we get a quick synopsis of last night’s performances, and it’s always fun to be reminded of the snappier moments of these talent shows. Unfortunately there’s usually bad that comes along with the good, and this show is no exception. I’d be a much happier viewer without having to relive Ivan’s, Ashley’s or Ben’s lackluster acts. Of course, keep in mind, I haven’t tapped my toes since Happy Days went off the air, so I make a much better critic than dancer.
The Bottom Of The Barrel
It amazes me it can take an entire 60 minutes to eliminate two dancers. Fortunately for you, I’m here to do the dirty work for you, and within the next five minutes, you’ll have your answer. No applause necessary. I do it because I’m a team player, and it’s the least I can do for my fellow FoRTers. I’m just that giving.
The bottom three couples are Erin and Stanislav, Ivan and Allison, and Jaymz and Jessica.
Below is a quick synopsis of their performances, excluding ridiculous, inane questions from Cat such as, “will you be disappointed if you go home tonight?” A probing reporter, she’s not...she makes Ryan Seacrest look cerebral.
Erin performs some sort of solo lyrical/jazz thingy that includes gyrations and toe pointing, performed to the song, Gotta Get Thru This sung by Daniel Bedingfield.
Next up is Stanislav performing a beautiful dance to Shing-A-Tin Tin by Tito Puente. He’s graceful and is one of the lucky dancers to get shoes tonight, so he’s got that going for him.
Allison is next and dances to Wild Horses sung by Natasha Bedingfield. She delivers an exuberant performance mixed with a backflip or two, and is cute as a button. She admits this was improvised because she hadn’t prepared a solo dance. This either speaks of confidence or cockiness, or perhaps both.
Ivan follows with a hip-hop dance to Ready performed by Black Rob. He seems rather goofy to me, and I won’t be upset if he gets nixed tonight.
Next is Jessica dancing and jumping to a song appropriately called Dancing performed by Elisa.
Last solo dancer is Jaymz dancing to All That I’ve Got sung by The Used. He does some impressive high kicks, leaps, and lots of arm waving and sliding around on the floor. He's wearing white pants, and as a mother I'm impressed to see the knees of his pants stay clean. It's here that I realize the shoe budget must go to the janitors.
The judges retire backstage to deliberate, allowing for just the right amount of time (imagine that) for Nelly Furtado and Timbaland to perform their ‘hit’ song Promiscuous. Nelly spends a lot of time stroking her hair as she sings. She also prances around and shakes her booty, but it’s difficult for me to concentrate because she’s wearing an atrocious pair of capris that tie just above the knee. Not a flattering look for her at all. Timbaland on the other hand, hardly moves, but the song has a good beat, and I give it a seven. Cat is in heaven and thinks they were brilliant, and Nelly does some serious camera flirting.
Just Get On With It, P-l-e-a-s-e...
Finally we’re at the point in the show where the results are announced. Erin, Allison and Jessica come out center stage holding hands and in agonizingly s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n, Nigel tells Allison she is a fine dancer, and she can thank her partner, Ivan, for putting her in the bottom three. She is safe nonetheless. He feels Erin and Jessica are in bottom three because America doesn’t know their personalities yet. But he assures them (and us) they’re fine dancers. However, Erin will not be staying. A medley of Erin’s dancing is shown as she fights backs tears. She is gracious, and I’m guessing she’ll do just fine in life.
It seems to take another 20 minutes, but we’re down to the final three men, Stanislav, Ivan and Jaymz. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Ivan will be the one leaving, if for no other reason, than he annoys the hell out of me. Nigel says Jaymz is one of their most versatile dancers. Safe. Nigel doesn’t feel Stanislav’s personality is coming across, and he moves on to Ivan. The judges feel Ivan let his partner down this week, and he needs to work harder. Nigel then announces Stanislav is leaving, and everyone seems shocked. I’m pissed, but I never vote on these shows, so I’m in no position to gripe. Stanislav is also very professional and gracious, and I love watching the montage of his dancing.
Well, there you have it. As the show ends, the remaining dancers gyrate and mug for the camera. Oh, and one of the men picks Cat up and spins her around. She’s thrilled, but I was secretly hoping to see him stumble just a little. Not enough to break any bones or anything, but wouldn’t it be great to see one of those running stumble moves? Maybe next week they’ll put that choreography to music. In the meantime, if Ivan fails to impress me again next week, I just might pick up that phone.
Tapping my toes at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Last edited by roseskid; 06-17-2006 at 12:35 PM.
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