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It’s finally geek time again! After a 1 week hiatus so the WB could push another Ashton Kutcher vehicle—Just Married—on us, Beauty and the Geek is back! I don’t know that I would go so far as to say “with a vengeance!”, because to me, the later episodes tend to be a little more boring and a little less funny. I know, I know--it’s because there are fewer people and now we’re more concerned with who’s going to win. But how can we just forget Karl and his perfect Butt-Head-ness? And what about Wes and his drawing-in-mock-blood-on-a-dark-green-wall-ness? It was moments like these that made the season thus far for me, and you just can’t get that wacky-ness when there are so few people and there is a prize at stake.
But I digress…if you missed the show last time it aired, well, what the hell were you so busy with anyway? Actually, Jennipher and Joe won their respective challenges, so the two other couples were auto-picked for the challenge room. In the quiz, Sarah performed terribly for her team, and Cher went 3 for 3 again to help her and Josh to send Wes and Sarah home.
She’s A Quiz Machine
When Cher and Josh return to the room where the other two couples are waiting, they are met with some cheer, and probably some fear too. Cher brags about how she went 3 for 3 again, and everyone is realizing that she hasn’t missed a question yet, and Josh has only missed 1 of the questions he has been asked. They know their beauty/geek stuff well! Basically, everyone knows that they are the team to beat.
Cher is also depressed because she sent her boy toy Wes home. Awww! No more scenes of uncomfortable geek small talk before Wes and Cher get gross between the sheets. Josh, I’m sure, is happy, though. Now he can have his evil Cher all to himself.
Memoirs Of A Challenge
Mike gathers the three remaining teams in the library to reveal their next challenge. As long as it’s not something having to do with “Geeks Gone Wild”, it should be pretty entertaining. For the girls, they will have to delve into a world that the guys know really well—geography and map reading. Wait a second? I thought that was something a stereotypical male doesn’t do well? Isn’t the joke that guys always misread maps and then won’t ask for directions? Whatever. Anyway, the girls are going to have to learn how to read a map and be able to get around in a city without using Mapquest. For the geeks, they’re task will also be related to maps…the map to a woman’s heart. Aww, cute! They will have to learn what appeals to women, and how a gift can unlock the key to a woman’s heart. Each person will also receive a secret box to open on their own. What the hell is in there?
In the box for each player is a video camera, and some mysterious instructions. Ok, not so mysterious as much as obvious. Each person is to take some personal time out during the day and make a thank you video for their partner. These all prove to be pretty standard messages of “Gee, you changed me”, or “You’re such a good friend and don’t lose that confidence to gained” or even “You’re such a cutie—I hope we can hook up in the real world!” Ok, that last one I totally made up, but you get the point. They’re all sappy and sentimental, and kinda cool at the same time. And then they make all 6 of them watch all 6 videos. Some sort of bonding exercise, I guess.
How Come There’s No “You Are Here” X???
Somehow, the next morning, the three teams are whisked to a parking garage far, far away. No, not as in “another galaxy” far, but definitely far away from the mansion. It’s time to start the next challenge. This will be completed as a team. The first team back to the mansion will win. The guys will have to go to three different stores and find the gift that their partner chose as to their liking amongst a ton of other items. How will they get to each store? Well, that’s where their Beauty comes in. She will guide the driver of their SUV via a thick map book of the greater LA area. The partners cannot give help to each other for their respective tasks, so this could take some time. Their first address is given to them, and the subsequent addresses will be included in the right gift each guy picks up. It’s like a giant scavenger hunt, with the cheapest brand of GPS unit as your guide.
Mike yells go and the teams are off and running. Right off the bat, it seems like Cher has the best grip on map reading, as her and Josh seem to know all the right moves. Brittany gets easily confused by North and South, but that’s probably just because she was trying to go East. Jennipher has no idea what’s going on with maps, and keeps driving around the block trying to get her bearings. Eventually she has the wherewithal to have the driver just pull over while she decides where her and Ankur can just hang out since she has given up in the first 5 minutes. Cher and Brittany are both on the ball, though, and Josh is searching through a shoe store for a particular pair of shoes quickly. Somehow he knows exactly what Cher likes, and finds her shoes and the next directions and is back in the SUV just as Joe is arriving. Joe hasn’t a clue when it comes to women’s shoes, and just starts going through pair after pair to see if those are the ones for his crush Brittany. Eventually he stumbles on the correct pair and he’s outta there. Jennipher, meanwhile, has just decided to have the driver start driving around town. She is tossing out random “Left here!”s and “Right here!”s followed by a couple of “Get on that highway right there”s. Eventually they stop at a 7-11 for some slurpees. Back in the competition, Cher is ordering her driver around as if he was driving Miss Daisy. But she is getting Josh to the right places pretty quickly. After some searching, they find the purse store they are looking for, and Josh runs his skinny body up the stairs to buy a purse. This one’s for Cher though…not another murse for him. Seemingly immediately after, Joe shows up and grabs the right purse. These two teams are neck and chicken neck(guess which one’s which!). On the way to the final store, Cher finally makes a mistake and is somehow on the wrong part of the right street. She can’t find the address they are looking for. Finally, she realizes they might not be in the right place and directs the driver further down the street to the right address. Josh runs up, and has to pick a jewelry SET out of all the jewelry on display. In panic mode, Josh is looking at just about every piece in the studio. He finally gets Cher’s picks, and gets on the road again, only to see Joe running by into the jewelry shop. Joe’s freaking out, Josh is freaking out, and when Cher sees Josh, she lets out her princess scream, since she knows right where to go to get back to the mansion. Joe picks Brittany’s jewelry quickly, but they both know they will only be a close second in this challenge.
Back at the mansion, Mike makes everything official when Joe and Brittany finally walk up. The two good map reading teams wait another 2 hours for the final team of Jennipher and Ankur to show up. Cher and Josh have won themselves a place in the final challenge for this season’s Beauty and the Geek. That means Joe and Brittany will face off with Ankur and Jennipher for the last spot in next week’s finale.
Come On, We All Know Who’ll Win This
It’s now up to the teams’ quiz knowledge. Down in the challenge room, it’s always ladies first, and Brittany is up. She is asked to name the most North Western state in the continental US. No, that doesn’t include Alaska. She is able to identify the states on the map, but starts to hem and haw about the “Western” part of the question as if Oregon might be more North Western than Washington, since it is a little further west. She finally makes the right choice and says “Washington.” Jennipher’s question asks her if she were following the sun, what direction would she be headed? Since the sun rises in the east, and apparently stays there all day, she says “East.” Wrong. Next, Brit is asked for the term to describe the explanatory table of symbols on a map. She correctly answers “The legend.” Jennipher gets another tough directions question…”If you are heading south and make a U-turn, then a left turn, and another left turn, which way are you headed.” It takes her some time, and the squirrels were running hard in the little wheels in her head, but she finally realizes that you would still be heading south. For Brittany’s final question, she gets a little math problem. If an inch equals 100 miles, how many miles is 4.5 inches. She grits her teeth and overthinks the problem for awhile, but eventually answers correctly with 450 miles. Finally, Jennipher is asked what the initials “GPS” stand for. She clearly has no clue that it stands for Global Positioning System(or Satellite). The girls leave the quiz room with the score Brittany 3, Jen 1.
Next the guys are up, and Joe is first. His question? “What is the name of the famous chocolate named after a woman who rode naked on horse through the town of Coventry?” Joe can’t pull the legend of Godiva out of his hat and answers incorrectly with truffle. Ankur really needs a right answer. He is asked to name the piece of jewelry that has a hinge and many people keep a picture inside of it. Ankur has heard of a locket. He has probably given his mommy one in the past. He is correct. Next it’s Joe’s turn again. He is asked what the traditional anniversary gift for a 25th wedding anniversary? He answers properly with Silver. Ankur again must answer correctly. He is asked what color the diamond was in the ring that Ben Affleck gave to J-lo when they got engaged. Ankur has no idea, but he knows that since the question is being asked, it must not be clear. He thinks about it some more, and just says “It’s gotta be romantic, so how about pink?” He is right! There’s fight left in the boy yet! Now it’s up to Joe. If he answers correctly, he and Brittany win. He is asked what four characteristics do you look for when buying a diamond? He must have shopped for a ring for Brittany already or something. Even though she thinks they are just friends(is this boy totally crushing or what?) He gives the spiel perfectly as if he sold diamonds for a living—cut, color, carat and clarity. Joe and Brittany win and are in the final 2!!
Jennipher and Ankur are both leaving the mansion with a newfound confidence and knowledge of things unknown before. Ankur is really happy to just be himself now, and can be confident in just that.
Be sure to tune in next week for the finale round. Who will take home the title of Top Beauty and the Geek? Wait…is that what they’re playing for? Oh yeah…who will take home the $250,000?? I hope not Cher. Can they just give it to Josh?
Geek Gone Mild: firstname.lastname@example.org m