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Thread: The Bachelorette - Last Man Standing: Journal Entry #4: Back Home Again

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    FORT Fogey
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    The Bachelorette - Last Man Standing: Journal Entry #4: Back Home Again

    Click here to see a photo of 'Big Dick' at a rose ceremony


    Last Man Standing One Manís Quest
    Journal Entry # 4 Back Home Again




    Today the bachelors will pack up their belongings and head back to their homes. They will each prepare a date for Trista and introduce her to their families. It will be their hopes that she falls in love with the towns they live in and the people who raised them.
    For some I have decided that I probably wonít even need to make the trip as they will probably do more damage themselves than I possibly could.

    I feel like my best chance with Trista will be to wait until the final two and then make my move with her. So, for this round I will only plan to do some surveillance on the home date with Ryan and Charlie. I feel those are my two biggest threats. I am sure Greg will be on the ax list once Trista gets a load of his Ďapartmentí. I of course did my pre-game investigation of each player and found out that Greg lives pretty much in a closet. I made sure to put a planted temporary renter in the apartment and I am sure what he leaves behind will be enough to put Greg out of the running.

    I had a chance to visit with Russ, Charlie and Ryan about their planned dates while they were packing so that I could be prepared. Ryan told me about his favorite way to impress a girl at home was to take her to the firehouse where he worked and slide down the fire pole. Well, I knew that would be a no brainer to grease the pole ahead of time and watch ole fireboy slip slide his way to the hospital. And if that didnít work I had a nice little poem to substitute for his usual sololique I can only imaging Tristaís reaction when he reads my verse about her sliding down his pole!

    I wasnít too worried about Russ and I believe Trista is an intelligent girl and will figure out Russís true reason for being on the Bachelorette. He divulged to me that he has been living with his grandmother and that he is about to go insane with all the gallons of youth dew, Bingo playing, and re-runs of Wheel of Fortune. He had to get out of that house and he figured he could spend some time in the bachelor pad trying to write his book and get some exposure too. Trista will figure it out I am sure so I wonít need to follow on that date.

    Charlie I think is the biggest threat to my union with Trista right now. His Mom has a lot in common with Trista and I think his family will really take to her. I havenít quite figured out my plan for him yet but his visit is last so I still have some time. I figure it will involve a candle getting too close to the flammable pomade on his hair and he will be a bald smoldering hunk of bachelor then.

    I packed up all my equipment for my first trip with Trista to Vail. My plan was to pose as one of the flight attendants and get to spend some time with Trista on each leg of her various journeys. I donned my flight attendant uniform and barely had time to board the plane at the ABC hangar before departure.

    As I made my way into the main cabin with a tray of champagne I noticed two men in chairs. I didnít know any of the ABC executives would be aboard. Oh well, I would just have to keep playing my role. I looked down the aisle and was stunned to see a woman I thought was Trista walking towards me in the most revealing black made to look good next to the bed lingerie I had ever seen. Why was Trista dressed in that? Was this how she got to be the Bachelorette? By seducing the ABC executives? As she approached she began to speak Russian, I finally looked at her face as I was so pleased my future Bride would not have to take to many language classes once she became an agent. As I gazed upon her face I realized it was not my Trista. It was some other woman. The man sitting in the chair ordered her to go change into ďthe red oneĒ. The woman proceeded to change and return.

    Being the agent I am I quickly realized I was on the wrong plane. But what sort of reality TV was this? I quickly hid in a closet. When the woman returned she began to seduce the man on the bed in the room. When did that get there? I soon found out this woman was an agent as well! I wonder what her ALIAS is I have never seen her before. Who does she work for and in what capacity? She, subdued the man on the bed, obtained some codes and began a computer transmission. Then she left the cabin and I followed. Was this reality spy TV? I interrupted the woman in a hand to hand with an obvious terrorist and I was just about to come to her aid when the man from the bedroom came in with a gun. The woman quickly shot out the window and the contents and people in the room were all sucked from the plane. Of course I travel with a parachute sewn into my jacket at all times as well as all my other necessary items. I was able to land safely and learn my location. I did see that the woman also was able to parachute from the plane as well.

    Of course because of my unfortunate side trip and my journey back to the US I missed all the home visits. I did learn that Trista kept Charlie, Russ, and Ryan for the next rounds. I am beginning to worry about Tristaís level of intelligence since she kept Russ again. I will continue to pursue this to the end. However; if I see that Trista has been compromised by this medium I may have to find out just who that woman on the plane was, who she works for and if she is single.

    The next round will be overnight dates in various exotic locations. I will have to use night vision and probably some of my best disguises on these dates I can tell.

    Till next time this is ďBig DickĒ
    Dazed and Confused
    Last edited by John; 01-31-2003 at 10:46 AM.

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