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The Molar Chronicles, Week 4: Reasons to try harder in math
Each week, our writers examine a Celebrity Mole: Hawaii contestant to determine their Moliness.
Frederique Van Der Wal
I know Frederique IS the Mole.
-She laughed knowingly at the beginning of this episode as she went down the list of remaining competitors.
-During the math portion, competing for exemption from execution, Frederique pretended to get confused over the answer for an equation.
Frederique definitely IS the Mole.
I am certain Frederique is NOT the Mole.
-During the Surf and Hula, Frederique tried several times to get up on the board and succeeded more than once.
-For the race for the exemption Frederique was the only one who ran fast and made good time to the restaurant. She almost knocked that man over on the stairs.
Clearly Frederique is NOT the Mole.
Erik 'the mole' Von Detten
It's clear that Erik is the mole.
- The waves at the beach were incredibly wimpy. Even though he's a good surfer, he couldn't stay up on the board for 20 seconds with waves like that. Lost money for the pot.
- He quickly solved the math puzzles. Had someone gotten a little extra help from the producers??
- He worked hard to make the matches because he knew if one of the players found him, money would be added to the pot.
- Indirect clue: Micheal Boatman confessed to be leaning towards Kathy for the mole. He was executed tonight. Maybe it was editing, maybe not.
Erik is definitely the mole.
Erik 'Clueless' Von Detten
It's clear that Erik is not the mole.
- He hula danced like a pro during the game at the beach.
- He's in a coalition with Kathy- the mole wouldn't need a coalition.
Erik is definitely not the mole.
Kathy, Kathy, Kathy... Iíve been watching you for weeks now. Every episode you have become increasingly Mole-like in your behavior. If Freddie from Koninkrijk der Nederlanden can learn to surf then what the heck was your problem? You had professional instruction woman! You couldnít even make it look like you were paying attention, Kathy. Then later all you had to do was find Erik. You even got a ride most of the way there. Yet the only explanation I can come up with is that Ahmad was telling you to slow it down! You are the Mole and Ahmad is your contact. Yes, you ARE the MOLE!
Kathy, Kathy, Kathy... Iíve been thinking about it some more. How could anyone entertain the thought that you are the mole? It is laughable. So what if you werenít able to stay on the surfboard? You were given a very short lesson, then thrown out into the water, water that went into ROCKS, for crying out loud! No, no one can blame you for not being able to stay on the board. Even Erik, an actual surfer had a hard time. Freddie lucked out. You also tried to hard to win yourself an exemption, both when working with Erik, then later against him. The Mole wouldnít need it. Then later, you did try to find Erik. It is not your fault if you got in the car with someone who couldnít help you, and in fact was working for Freddie (the mole)! Yes, Kathy, you are definitely, NOT the MOLE!
Michael IS the Mole. Why do I know this?
- He was clearly going to drop out of the "Surf the Hula" game, but since Kathy dropped out so quickly, he stayed in hiding, and danced his stiff no-hip dance for the full 30 minutes.
- During the math quiz, he pretended like he was trying to solve Einstein's Relativity Theory, rather than a simple "14 plus 15 is 29, times 10 is 290" equation that my 13-year-old neice could solve in 5 seconds flat.
- He took the logest to get to the restaurant during the attempt to stop the exemption. In fact, he took SO long that I think a producer must have gone out and gotten him. He blamed it on "his pants", but we KNOW that Mrs. Boatman wouldn't have let him out of his hotel room that morning with pants that were in danger of falling down.
- It was his birthday, and we know how Moles like birthday cakes, right? Right?
So, you can see my logic, and understand that Michael HAS to be the Mole.
Michael is NOT the Mole. Why do I know this?
- Because he was unfortunately and embarassingly eliminated, right out of the gate last night. Poor guy. Didn't his wife tell him not to get eliminated?
So, unfortunately, it's now clear to me that Michael is definitely NOT the Mole.
Goodbye, Michael. Back to your wife, and her iron grip on your cajones. Really man, grow a spine. I thought you were the Mole, but it turns out you're just a wussy.
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