Journal Entry : The Bachelors Meet Trista
Entry : Number one
Tonight is the first night the selected bachelors will meet the lovely Trista. I am one of those selected my name is Richard or as those who know me best call me " Big Dick". I am from a town in the US called Reklats City. I am a professional but I operate in a profession of the covert nature thus I cannot divulge my exact occupation.
As the fated night of my first encounter with Trista began I was slated to be the last bachelor to arrive in the stud parade. About a mile from the Bachelorette villa, my limousine encountered some " mechanical problems" and I was delayed.
Because of the delay a substitute bachelor was chauffered in my place. Of course I recognized the tamperings and attempts to oust me , but a man of my profession does not give up easily and I quickly had the limo back in working order. Of course I now had a little grease under my manicured nails, but never fear I would take care of that at the party.
A quick hand washing and good as new. Once I arrived I saw that Trista and the host Chris were making their way into the party and not wanting to make a big scene I used my skills to slip around the back of the villa so I could join the party unannounced.
I planned to make my introductions to Trista at the party. As I was manuevering up the hill I began to slip so I fashioned a repelling harness out of my tie and scaled the villa wall. As I was about to step over I encountered another set back, dog crap, who has dogs in Malibu? Again, while a slight annoyance no major setback to a man of my stature. I figured the dog product was also a plant. I would simply dip my foot in the pool wash off the offending feces and make my way to Trista.
As I was smoothly washing off my custom Italian Loafers I felt an elbow and a shove in the back and was forced to step knee deep into the pool. It was now apparent to me that these other men viewed me as the Alpha Male and a force to be reckoned with in the competition for Trista.
I made my way to the mens room where a quick blow dry, a few pushups, some repair to my duck butt coif, a swift pit sniff and I was once again ready for my future bride. Of course my tie was history, but hey, just a chance for her to see my well sculpted chest.
As I made my way into the testerone fest I noticed one of the guys out in the middle of the room. What the Hell?? What was that buffoon doing, some sort of jig? Well I knew I could show them all how to dance,, I can do the running man, the moon walk and even the hustle.
I made my way to the front and began my dancing entrancement when I looked down and discovered I was leaving brown polish streaks from my shoes and remains of the dog #$%%^&. Again, I had to quickly make my way out to do repairs.
Once I was back in shape, I realized Trista had begun her rose ceremony and was giving out her last rose! Crap, because of the what I am sure was planted crap I had missed out on ever even meeting Trista. I am sure she would have given me a rose. I realize we are destined to be together so I decided to just slide thru this next round, hang out in the Bachelor Pad and sort of tag along. Trista will get to know me and realize her mistake. I am sure she will make it allright with the Producers of ABC.
It will also give me a chance to figure out just who is out to prevent me and Trista from meeting. I might even have to play on their level and do a bit of counter measures myself. But, never fear, Trista and I will be together. I will see to that!
Till next time, this is Big Dick signing out!
This article is intended for entertainment purposes only.
Last edited by John; 01-09-2003 at 05:23 PM.
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