Big Brother 5 LIVE FEED Recap - Saturday, 8/14/04 - "Girl Alliances Gone Wild"
Take an ant farm, any ant farm. Perhaps you’re like me and have one proudly displayed on your desk. If I were to open the top, take a long stick and start jabbing it around at my trusting little ant colony, they would get drunk and spend the night yammering behind my back at the stupid two-legged thing that thinks she runs the world. Now, power twin Adria has learned firsthand the joys - and the dangers - of applying electric shock treatment to her own private ant farm, the Girl Power Alliance. Like me, she should prepare to have a few ants run up the stick with their tiny little fangs out screaming for vengeance. So you say ants don’t have fangs, do you? Who has the fictional ant farm on their desk, you or me?
Friday Night Freakout
If you turned the feeds on last night, you would have seen only two cameras (curse you, Big Brother) following whatever messy argument the cameramen felt like showing for the moment. It was disconcerting to be following an intense conversation between A and Natalie, only to jerk over to a Diane and Drew whispering at each other for a few minutes, only to be whipped right back to the back yard where Marvin was letting his tongue off the leash. Adria had chosen Will and Marvin for eviction, and it seems everyone in the house had something to say about it.
Adria and Nakomis have a lengthy talk, much like their lengthy talk twenty-four hours earlier, except that this time, Nakomis isn’t sucking up to a new HOH, she wants answers. This is where Adria had the opportunity to set the tone for the night: rational explanations, or teary rants? You guessed it. While a short and sweet answer would have perked up the little leaguers, she goes for long-winded lectures on how to play as a team.
Adria’s tells Nakomis her rationale for putting Will on the block instead of Cowboy: first off, she does not want to use some sneaky snakey back door plan on Marvin, that would be unfair. Since the six finger plan was Nakomis’ brilliant use of Big Brother new power of veto rules, making her the only Big Brother HOH to have designed and executed it, she must enjoy Adria classifying it on par with tax evasion. Furthermore, Adria tells Nakomis that everyone loves Will, so he won’t be voted out. He’s not a pawn, a word she detests; he’s a pinch hitter, someone given the opportunity to do an important job for the team. Even though he’s safe, he will emerge as a better person for having gone through the experience of being up on the block. In fact, her own personal experience on the block was so eye-opening she considers it a blessing, and “thanked Jesus” for it. Nakomis delicately suggests that perhaps the nominees this week will not appreciate the experience as a religious blessing, but that doesn’t deter Adria from using bringing up her religion again before the night is through.
But why, Nakomis wants to know, did Adria keep her decision to herself before the ceremony? It turns out that while the rest of the house was relaxing a little and enjoying being able to make the universally-hated Jase squirm, Adria felt like the other members of her team were scheming without including her. By the time she was in HOH all by her lonesome, she was hurt that no one came to talk to her. Nakomis says that she talked to her, why didn’t she tell her then? Adria responds that if anyone thought something was going on, they should have asked her. Nakomis says it’s probably because they all assumed that Cowboy and Marvin would be put on the block. Adria is incensed, now, wanting to know why no one came and asked her if they’re all so sure something was going on? Nakomis tells her she didn’t think anything was going on. An awkward pause or two later, Adria declares the subject over. She’s not going to go over her decision and pick it to pieces just so that the little people can understand.
There’s a lot of smack talk going on as the twins keep to themselves in the HOH room, but let’s fast forward to Adria attempting to mingle later in the evening with Will and Marvin. If I were HOH, and I saw my two nominees sitting in the back yard conversing together like old friends, I might think twice about approaching and giving them a team pep talk, but then, I’m no fitness professional. Adria tries to clear the air a bit, but Marvin flat out states it’s obvious what her strategy is: put up the black man and the gay man. Adria doesn’t appreciate this attack (who would) and tells Marvin he’s just putting on his own labels, not hers. Marvin presses on, asking if the Bible had any influence on her decision. Adria says that yes, her faith is part of her blood and in that sense, it played a part in her decision. Marvin wants to know where in the Bible it says she should put up the black man and the gay man this week. Adria doesn’t stick around once the conversation gets this hostile.
Natalie had a breakdown in there, too; seems that everyone’s mad at Adria and it makes her cry. Maybe the constant tears would have worked on the testosterone-laden Scott, who seemed to like “A”, but the time to pull out all the tears is long past, and no one offers an enthusiastic shoulder for her to sob on.
Meanwhile, Diane tells Drew that both sides think she is with them. Drew trusts the twins more, but agrees that he can keep it up with both sides until the next HOH competition. He sure seems happy that someone’s holding the end of his leash and telling him where to squat.
The Start of a Long Day
The next morning, the hamsters are stuck in the house with each other because the back yard is being set up for the veto competition. It’s hard to talk strategy when you’re knocking elbows over the bathroom sink, so everyone is on their best of-course-I-don’t-hate-you-bitch behavior. Drew and Diane share a few whispers - why is the HOH room locked? Diane thinks she heard something sounding like a television coming through the paper-thin walls. Maybe the spycam was wired for audio! “Let’s see if the twins tells us about it,” she whispers to Drew.
We’re treated to up-close-and-personal shots of the fish for many, many hours today. The first big chunk of raw fish is for the veto competition, which is blocked from the feeds, probably because these competitions require a lot of re-takes and stage directions.
When the feeds come back on, the descriptions of the competition are like piecing together a ripped-up document. Someone asks if anyone wants a slice of fruitcake. Drew is snapping pictures on a digital camera - yup, a piece of technology has entered the house. Will is sporting an MP3 player, which we soon find out, is stocked with public domain music mostly (think dead composers - classical music). Cowboy is doing something with ice skates, and Karen laments that they didn’t get to keep any of the teddy bears or stockings because CBS is run by a bunch of low-budget bastards.
As to the power of veto winner, a twin was spotted through the fish tank wearing the medal by yours truly, but it took a few minutes after the feeds came on to figure out which twin it was - Adria. That’s right, Adria is now truly the Queen of Everything.
Like most days, the hamsters settle in for their afternoon’s nap. They’re just no good in the evening if they don’t get their afternoon quiet time.
There was probably a lot of strategizing, double-crossing, snack-stealing moments this afternoon, but we’ll never know, since Big Brother decided to make us all run to the bathroom with incessant footage of the fish tank. Why the guppy pay-per-view; could something be going on?
When the feeds come back in the late evening, we find that Big Brother has been setting up a luxury competition. The HOH room has been converted into a private screening room for three lucky houseguests to watch “Without A Paddle”, a comedy starring Seth Green. They break into teams of three to assemble a puzzle, allowing a third team member to run down a red carpet to search through a large bowl of M&M’s for a Golden Power of Chocolate. The winners will enjoy a movie, along with an assortment of moviehouse snacks. Will calls the “gold digger” position, playing with Diane and Drew as puzzle assemblers. Marvin, Karen and Cowboy are a team, and Adria, Natalie and Nakomis are the last set of players.
Diane and Drew prove to be very quick at assembling their puzzle, and Will is the only one who dips into the giant M&M bowl, quickly coming up with the winning candy. Everyone cheers the winners, especially Diane and Drew, who will be able to eat something besides PB&J for the night. Big Brother is feeling expansive, and allows the hamsters to fill their pockets with candy, even the ones on food restriction. The infusement of chocolatey goodness is appreciated by everyone, except Marvin, who has “lost his appetite.”
If the Big Brother shrink is keeping paper files on the houseguests, I’m betting that file cabinet is full. Marvin has lost his fourth competition in two days, and he’s one depressed hamster. In his pain, he lashes out in Marvin fashion; that is, with sarcastic comments. The newly-won MP3 player calms him down for a while, or at least, keeps him from interacting with anyone while the luxury winners enjoy the movie.
Karen is depressed enough to sob in the bathroom, eventually seeking out a visit with the shrink. She comes back from the Diary Room with her head unshrunken, as they are unable to contact a psychiatrist while the movie is playing. They told Karen it was a matter of communication lines being tied up, but in this golden age of the telephone I’m betting the crew just wanted to finish watching the movie.
After the screening is over, the cameramen avoid the luxury winners like they’re carrying a visually communicable disease, but we get a clue when Cowboy comes out to tell some of the others that the movie watchers are saying the movie sucked. Slam! We’ve got a fish tank. When the feeds come back, the houseguests are chatting. Eventually, the movie is mentioned, and someone chimes in that it was pretty bad. Slam! More of the fish tank. That’s all right, I’m sure we’ll get the real story about the fabulously funny movie they watched in their diary room confessions.
Twins After Hours
Adria and Natalie decide to make it an early night instead of going through the joy of vitriol-filled conversations in the back yard until all hours of the morning. Once again, Big Brother must be short-staffed, because we’re down to two cameras, each a close-up of a twin’s head. They discuss their choices from every angle: leaving the original nominees on the block, cutting a deal with Marvin, putting up Drew, putting up Natalie, putting up Karen. Natalie recounts that Diane told her that Karen, Will and Nakomis told her over and over they were gunning for the twins, so it sounds like Diane is choosing to go with the twins.
Natalie doesn’t like Nakomis “with all her piercings” giving her a lecture, and Adria was insulted that someone younger than herself criticized her actions. Both twins are ready to cut her loose. Natalie says she had a “blast” playing “the biggest twist in America”, but now it’s getting real. Adria says her ultimate goal is just to make “true friends.” Listening to the twins' identical voices venting their feelings is like listening in on someone's multiple personality disorder from the inside of their head. Either that or I'm too tired to sort them out from the voices in my own head any more.
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