Fear Factor 02-23-04

Welcome back for another special 90 minute episode. This is really going to screw with my TV viewing tonight, so it had better be good. Stepping to the plate are…

Anthony Diliberto – Shipping & Receiving from Burbank, California. Ok, so what does he do exactly? Shipping and Receiving what? How many? Does he just answer the phones?

Traci McCarthy – Retired Army Sergeant now working as a flight attendant from Las Vegas, Nevada. Well, talk about a career change. She has a pierced lower lip, which I hate.

Claudia Agudelo – Personal Trainer from Hoboken, New Jersey. She’s saying something about her brain, but my eyes haven’t made it that far up yet.

Jason Chambers – Martial Arts Fighter from Chicago, Illinois. So martial arts fighter is a job now? Very cocky, doesn’t think anyone can hang with him.

Bruna Rubio – Soap Opera Actress from Madrid, Spain. Geez, that’s a long way to go just to be on a silly game show.

Scott Turner – Snowboarder from Salem, Oregon. Ok come on, how do these people make money? I’m doing something wrong. This guy is not here to win the money, he’s here looking for a girl named Christy he met once over 2 years ago. He spent 2 hours with her. He doesn’t even know her last name. You’ve got to be kidding me.

They walk down a shipyard pier and meet up with host Joe Rogan. They get the usual opening speech, and then are directed towards their first stunt:

I’ll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don’t count
A pole and platform contraption is connected to the skids of a helicopter. There are 3 flags attached to the pole. Contestants must climb from the chopper down onto the platform, climb out onto the pole and release the first 2 flags. They must grab the 3rd one, bring it back and clip it where the first one was, and then drop into the water. The clock starts when they get on the platform and stops when they hit the water. The 2 men and 2 women that get the most flags the fastest will move on

Scott is up first and goes over his sappy story with Joe. I’m surprised Joe didn’t laugh in his face and take away his man card. Scott heads off in the helicopter and gets underway. He moves smoothly, makes it to the end of the pole and back without a hitch. He clips the flag and hits the water in 36.8 seconds. Not too shabby for a guy that doesn’t care.

Anthony is up next, and is very confident. He gets into position and gets going, moving slower than Scott. He makes it to the end and back, clips the flag and splashes down in 52 seconds.

Jason is last for the guys and isn’t worried at all. He rambles on about his tattoo but I’m not really paying much attention. He begins and moves right through, just a bit off of the lead time. He finishes with a time of 43.6 seconds. That will send Anthony on his way.

First up for the ladies is Bruna, and she tells Joe that she plays the “bad girl” on a soap opera in Spain, and even does a small performance for him. Things sound much cooler in a foreign language. Before boarding the chopper, she reveals a skimpy lime green bikini. She gets going and moves at a steady, cautious pace. She does manage to make it down and back, and finishes with a time of 1:05.9

Claudia is next, and Jason comments that her chest might throw off the balance of the chopper. She graces us with a lovely multicolored bikini that barely covers her goodies as she prepares to hop into the helicopter. She begins at a good pace and doesn’t have any trouble completing this at 1:04.1

Traci finishes this stunt, and sends a shout out to her daughter while sporting a light purple bikini. She starts off fast, but slows way down on her way back. She finally clips the flag and hits the water with a very hard faceplant in 1:13. That time is going to send her home.

We come back to find the gang standing in front of a covered table and bucket in what looks like a basement. Joe comes strolling in and has Claudia lift the lip on the bucket to reveal:

Extra Cheesy
Contestants must bob for cheese wedges in a moldy, stinky, slimy fondue. They must remove 5 hunks of cheese. They must then pull out and eat 5 giant “horse” grasshoppers from a jar on the table. These things are practically the size of small children. The person with the slowest time will be sent packing.

Jason is up first, as the others scrunch their faces at the smell of the cheese and the size of the bugs. He gets the countdown and shoves his head into the bucket. The fondue is flying and he gets his cheese chunks in about 20 seconds. He then moves onto the bugs, and they crunch as he works to get them down. He chomps away, and finishes in 1:44.5. He looks like a member of the Blue Man Group…only yellow.

Bruna is up next and dives right in like an animal. She too gets all her cheese rather quickly and moves to the bugs. Bruna tears into the little critters and it’s a very close race. She swallows her last bit of bug in 1:45.6. She gets back in line and slimy Jason gives her a slimy head rub. She runs off to grab the “Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket” and lets loose.

Scott is next, and once again Joe goes over his love story just to let everyone know how pathetic it is in case they missed it the first time. He gets the countdown and attacks the cheese, getting through that at about 22 seconds. He runs into trouble with the grasshoppers though, and struggles to keep them down with every bite. After what seems like forever, he polishes off the last bite for a time of 3:26.7. Things aren’t looking good.

Claudia finishes this stunt, and doesn’t look too happy to be doing this. She even admits to it, and Joe counters with “Of course, nobody wants to do this…this is Fear Factor”. Duh. She begins, and is actually ahead after the cheese part. It’s a whole different story with the critters though as she has major difficulty here, gagging with every bite. In voiceover, she describes how they “pop” and how nasty the “gushy” stuff is. She ends up taking too much time and passing Scott’s time on bug #4. Joe comments that there’s something erotic about the way she’s shaking around with her top half covered in cheese, and I agree with him. We’re a couple of freaks. So long Claudia.

The 3 remaining contestants make their way through a warehouse and arrive at a tank filled with eels. In through the door rolls Joe in a shiny red sports car. He lets them know that no one will be going home after this stunt and the winner will receive a red convertible 2004 Mazda “Speed” MX-5.

(F)eeling Lucky?
Contestants will be hung by their ankles and lowered into the tank. They will have to search through the Moray eels, find 7 keys, and put them in a bucket. The person with the fastest time will get the car.

Scott is up first, and is a bit nervous as he gets into position. He gets the countdown and begins cautiously. He moves very slowly trying not to upset the eels as the time ticks away. Scott eventually gets all seven keys, in just under a week, at 5:57.9

Jason and his cocky self are next. He gets out to a quicker pace, but is still being a bit gentle with the eels. He gets to the last key, but ends up dropping it back into the tank while trying to put it in the bucket. After a few seconds of searching, he finds it again and stops the clock at 3:01.3

Bruna finishes this stunt in a beautiful yellow bikini. She starts fast, and is much more aggressive with the eels. She too drops a key and it costs her valuable time. She fights through the eels and drops another key as the time ticks down and eventually runs out. Jason wins the car.

On to the final stunt for these three, and they make their way down an empty stretch of road. They meet up with Joe who congratulates them on getting this far and shows them their final stunt:

Drive You Crazy
A flatbed truck will move down the highway with ramps attached lengthwise to each side of the bed. There are 5 flags on each side of the bed. Contestants must drive a car up the ramp and run over as many flags as possible while riding on 2 wheels. The person that runs over the most flags the fastest or before running out of road or flipping the car will win. Some part of the car must go over the flag in order to count.

Jason is up first. While he goes to get ready, Bruna cracks herself up by saying to Scott “you should flip the car, maybe Christy will fall in love with you after seeing you flip for her”. Jason climbs in the car and takes off, and on his first pass manages to get 3 flags. He switches to the other side and misses all of them on that try. He makes another attempt and gets 1 more before rolling the car over onto it’s roof. Total: 4 flags.

Bruna is next, and is very confident. She takes off and gets 1 on her first try. She makes another pass and gets another before switching sides. She gets 1 more on the other side and falls back a pretty far way from the truck. Sadly for her, she runs out of road before going for another attempt Total: 3 flags.

All eyes are on Scott. Hell who knows, maybe Christy is watching. He calmly strolls over, gets ready, and hops in the car. While sitting in the car, we get a voiceover of him reciting a very cheesy poem. He gets going, and on his first pass is able to get only 1. He fails to gets any on his second try, but manages to get 3 more on his 3rd. He switches sides, misses on the next attempt, and sets up for one last shot. He is just barely able to roll the tire over the first flag before spinning out of control. Total: 5 Flags.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Scott is your Fear Factor champion! Geez, this guy didn’t even want to win…what’s up with that?

Next week: Woohoo, I can’t wait – THE ALL FEMALE SHOW!

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