Yoffy lifts a finger...
Survivor - Standing in the Shadows week 10
Wow Brian, you continue to amaze me! I'm digging you still...although when I picked you to shadow each week, I never realized you would make it this far in the show and look like you're breezing your way into the Final Four. I'm glad to see that your tribemates understand and appreciate your finer features, but little do they know they are not so special. Sure Clay thinks you have a fine a$$ because "he's seen it". But, um...I think there's an awful lot of people that can make that claim and more.
Picking Clay to go with you on the RC was a fine move this week. It didn't look suspicious that you would pick the person that helped you win and placed second, to go on the reward. Singling Ted out of the group would have caused some eyebrows to be raised.
Bringing food back from the feast. You can never go wrong bringing something back for your fellow tribemates....unless it's a used mint.
Getting out of the boat and heading onto the beach upon return from the reward challenge I noticed you were very protective of your, um...package. I guess considering your occupation, this was a good move, though I'm still a little unclear as to what you were protecting it from.
Your worst move was actually winning RC -- again. Had you allowed either Ted or Clay to take this challenge, either one of them would have brought you along. Winning just brought attention to yourself as a threat -- something you don't need. And when you did win the reward challenge, you should at least make up some story for Ted to explain why you didn't choose him.
Jan, should we just reserve your room at the Betty Ford Clinic now? When Brian and EvilClay brought back the goodies from their excursion, you were excited enough about getting the food. But, when you found out there was beer in one of the canteens, you went hog wild and were like a kid on Christmas Day finding out he had gotten the one present he was hoping for! You didn't want to share the beer with anyone, and you went so far as to say you wished there was a nipple on the canteen. Sheesh, Jan...have a few unresolved issues? Maybe you're thinking back to the days when you were breast fed as a child? Who knows...?
Once again you were very congratulatory and supportive of Brian and EvilClay as they went off to their elephant ride/Thai lunch, and you welcomed them back with open arms (and, probably, a drooling mouth when you found out they had beer!) when they returned. Also, we didn't get a gratuitous backside shot of your saggy ass in your bikini!
Without a doubt, it was slipping on the boards during the RC. You and Helen were clearly ahead, and not only did your misstep allow Ted/Penny back into the race, it allowed them to pass you and advance on to the next stage of the challenge.
Jake, Jake, Jake, the Snake.....all the ssssssslithering you did with the CG's did stir the pot, but it wasn't enough to create a Texas tornado. You shouldv'e told Ted that it was Clay and Brian who told you guys to vote for him. Shit would've hit the fan so fast, that, and all you had to do was sit back and let those 3 duke it out. Your best bet is to keep working on getting Helen and Saggy Jan on your side. I cringed when you made that speech at TC, but it was a very bold move. My fist thought when I was listening to your speech was : Shut your PieHole Jake. You are digging your own grave Afterwards, I realize that your are fighting to stay alive so I applaud your efforts now. However, your speech didn't save you! Good thing that Ted's dislike of sweet-talkin'-sneaky evil Penny was stronger for her than your fast-talkin'-mouth slithering-self. You can topple the Brian-Clay-Ted alliance by stirring the pot even more. I'm behind your every move, Jake! "Never give up. Never Surrender! "
Told Ted that he and the rest of the SJ's were told to vote for him. Telling Helen that Clay and Brian have a pecking order.
Didn't tell Ted that it was Clay and Brian who told them to vote for Ted. The speech at TC was a little too much, and I don't think it will go over too well with the CG's, especially that little man, Clay.
Elli the Elephant
Although this has nothing to do with your strategy, you were very lucky to have gotten diminutive monkey man Clay as a rider this week. Making sure that you have no seatbelts was pure genius, it provided us with some great laughs at Brians Expense. Your best move overall has to have been the, ehem, flatulence problem. I thought you would actually succeed in having Brian jump right off.
You never once congratulated Brian and Clay for their win. Clay thrives on having the “less importants” tell him how very clever he is. Also, there were many times where your leader let go of your tattered ears. These were great opportunities to make sure you made it to the final 4. You could have taken two strong players out of the game within minutes
See someone about your gas problem, and have someone tape up your ears. If you are both aesthetically and olfactory pleasing you may go farther.
This week saw Clay up and mobile. After downing some proton energy pills disquised as chicken feed, Clay did his animal imitations. Catwalking boards, crawling like a snake, and walking bamboo poles like a squirrel. Winning wasn't everything this day, but helping the winner meant a free trip on the native four foot drive transportation and a mid afternoon pigout! Sneaking some food back to the tribe to help do future jury tampering was a good plot. At the TC he let it be known he may be a southern boy, but that he realises there are deceptions that have been going on since day one. After Jake's speech, he had to vote him off, changing from getting rid of Penny.
Looking cool on the elephant while Brian was ready to bail out.
Trying to pull Ted up over the wall. He could have had his shoulder pulled out of socket trying that stunt!!
This week sees Helen going to get water with Jake, leaving the rest of us to wish she were better armed, after having learned her lesson with Jan. Jake makes his best power-play, and Helen just keeps saying "that's interesting." I guess whatever gets her to stop reciting recipes works for me. Helen made a tactical error during the Reward Challenge by choosing Jan as a partner. Then she turned everything around and won the Immunity Challenge. I guess with that necklace on, she can FINALLY get a grind-free night next to Big Ted. I can only contemplate what she'd have said if, after having won the RC, she'd chosen Jan to accompany her. If Helen is smart, she'll join Jake next week, and if they win the tie vote, she'll be guaranteed a place in the Final 3. If not, she'll be gone in 3 weeks.
On the surface, Ted's role this week was pretty minor. He got some quality sulking in early, whined about the votes he received, and even got a chance to grump about being left out of the whole Reward Challenge loop. But we may look back on this episode with much interest in the future if the seeds of doubt that were planted this time around germinate later. He may have doubts in his head whether a fellow Chuay Gahn member orchestated those three votes. And he's already unclear on his status with Brian following the Reward Challenge. If those doubts overwhelm him, he could jump ship and change the course of the game.
Without question, the Ted highlight was his thunderous assault on the little crawly part of the Reward Challenge. He looked like one of those nasty worms from Tremors. You'd think a man his size woulda struggled in that situation, but he excelled. Honorable Mention: attempting to haul Clay's arm out of its socket.
Man, Ted, just let the whole "Brian picked Clay" thing go. You guys are in a secret alliance, remember? How dumb it be for Brian to call attention to that secret by selecting you to go on the trip with him? If you cried more about it, you'd tip your hand. Just move along, Big Ted. There's nothing to see here.
We waited a while to get to actually see Penny this week. When we finally did we see that yellow is not her color, as she wears her buff as a shirt to the reward challenge. Maybe, just maybe she should have used it to cover her dirty, oily, clumpy, stringy hair.
She has turned to eating chicken feed, but the chickens wouldn’t be needing it would they? Luckily she partnered with Ted and he helped her move on to the next part of the challenge. Unfortunately she sucked when on her own.
She acted so happy for Brian and Clay, and upon their return even gave Clay a kiss, perhaps hoping that this would help keep her in the game. Talk about extreme measures!
She went right for Jake in the immunity challenge torch snuffing competition, thus showing everyone her ability to stay true to alliances. When it came time for Tribal Council Jake kept his word to keep her, and Clay held out hope for another kiss. Unfortunately for Penny, everyone else saw her true colors and voted her out, making her the third person on the jury. She somehow came out of this feeling honored that she was seen as a threat. How long until she realizes she was seen as a .....?
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this article.
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