Yes, my friends the opposite of a Less Off is indeed a Moron. We had example after example in the latest offering from the Amazing Race. I wish I could tell you that all the examples of the moronic behavior came from Kelly and Jon (Yes! They are still in the race!), but alas, we have examples from not only them, but Millie and Chuck, and Jeff and Dave (they are the ones you don’t know) too. It was a festival of Morons.

Makes for fun TV though.

It was also an Elimination round, although I feel the need to point out that no-one was shown reading that part of the clue out loud, and I am pretty confidant that Phil never said it either. Completely annoying.

Makes for good TV though.

So, let’s get the particulars out of the way.

Teams must get themselves to Poring Hot Springs, where they will await the opening of the gates in order to find the next clue. In order to find the clue they must walk across rope bridges 100 feet in the air. If you have never walked across a suspension bridge before I recommend that you find one near your home and try it. It is a disconcerting feeling even when one is 20 feet off the ground, the bridge is short, and made out of steal cables. I can’t imagine what a rope suspension bridge must feel like. They learn they must get to Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation to find the detour.

This week the detour, once they find it, consists of two difficult tasks. Chop or Haul. In Haul Teams must load 25 Palm nut bunches into a truck. They will have a numbered wheelbarrow with which to transport the bunches to a truck with a corresponding number. The trucks are huge and the bunches must be heaved up and over the sides. When the task is completed, the truck will move revealing the clue hidden under a tire. If teams opt for Chop they must use a traditional saw thingy on a long stick to saw down some of the same bunches. There will be three with envelopes for each team to choose from, but only one envelope will contain the clue.

For this weeks Roadblock, located at Gomantong Caves , the team member choosing to do it must be ready for the “ladder” part of the race (now, whether they spelled it “latter” or “ladder” I don’t know, but it was a cute and corny play on words none-the-less. The team member doing this must climb a rattan ladder that looks to me to be somehow hovering in a somewhat straight line. The ladders look as though they were patched together by the bamboo growing in my yard. For the record, my bamboo does NOT look like the bamboo we see on TV in China. The thickest one is only about ½ an inch in diameter, suffice it to say, the ladder here looks flimsy. Once the climber reaches the top, 50 feet above the floor of the caves, he or she must crawl out onto a horizontal part of the ladder, grab a rope, and haul up a basket containing the clue. That clue will send the teams to the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The Sepilok Nature Resort.

Once again we had someone use the Fast Forward. Absolutely, with out a doubt, this Fast Forward would have been my favorite ever. The team had to drive to Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary, where they would be given baskets of fruit. They needed to hike to a feeding station and hand feed the Orangutans 3 pieces of fruit. They would then be given the location of the Pit Stop.

Off we go… the same five teams we saw last week. Bah.


Jon and Al 2:05am

The clowns leave the Pit Sop first and as they are heading out to the Hot Springs we are treated to a little “diary” time where they tell us that other teams have remarked about the fact that the guys are always laughing. They figure it’s a good strategy. I don’t care, I just like it, and it gives me a team to enjoy watching.

The duo gets to the Hot Springs and realizes they will have a short wait until the gates open. In the past we have seen teams react to news of this sort with anger. Jon and Al don’t care.

They have no problems maneuvering over all the bridges and get the next clue rather quickly. They run out of the forest to the parking lot to get their “marked” car. Once they get in, they immediately turn on the defrost, but after a short drive, which included passing two other teams who had pulled over to clean the fog off their windows, the clowns found their windows starting to fog up too. It didn’t take them much time to get the windshield cleaned, and they headed off for the next clue.

It seems that the clowns are the only team that wasn’t plagued with directional problems, and they found the Palm Oil Plantation rather quickly. After reading the clue they decided to go for Haul. I think they may have regretted the decision after Jon made the comment that the nut clusters made his hands bleed. The two had troubles throwing all 25 clusters up into the truck, and had quite a few fall back onto the ground. Finally, the truck pulled away and the clowns learned they needed to get to the caves.

Again, their sense of direction helped them immensely, and they found the caves in good time. Jon decided he was better suited for the task after reading “ladder” or “Latter” I really don’t know. He scaled the rattan ladder with ease, and gathered the clue quickly. The only thing that seemed to bother him was the fact that all the bird poo made the rungs a little slippery.

He met up with Al and the two headed off quickly in hopes of meeting Phil and Not hearing the dreaded words. They arrived…



Reichen and Chip 2:05am

These two feel as though they are working well together, and like that they seem to be in synch with their thoughts. They feel confidant and strong going into this leg of the race.

In the cab on the way to the bridges, they have to swerve along the road, rather their cabbie has too, as this is apparently where cows like to congregate in the wee hours of the morning. Some hang out and chat, while others just lay down and take a nap. It is truly and interesting sight.

They arrive early for the bridges and have to wait with other teams. Reichen doesn’t particularly like the bridges, because when other people are on them at the same time, the bridges shake. This is true, and I sympathize. He and Chip don’t stop though, and they get the next clue quickly.

Once in the car and heading for the caves they immediately turn on the defrost, and are happy to see other teams hadn’t thought of it and are now pulled over cleaning the windows.

It is not their intent to go for the fast forward, but after driving along for miles, and miles, they realize they are lost, unless they opt for the Fast Forward, in which case they are right on track.

Arriving in the jungle at the Orangutan preserve the two get the baskets of fruit and head off for the feeding station.

Although I think only Reichen speaks, they are both visibly moved by meeting and feeding these beautiful Orangutans. Reichen says he would have stayed two weeks if he hadn’t been in a race. I like these two again.

They are given the clue for the next Pit Stop and head off to meet Phil. They arrive…



Millie and Chuck 2:19am

We learn that the duo hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, and that they are both extremely tired. Although I sympathize to a point, as I know how hard it is to function on lack of sleep, I can’t help but wonder what they do at the Pit Stop. Now, I don’t suggest that they sleep for twelve hours at a time, but even with eating, showering and strategizing, you have to be able to get some sleep, especially this far into the race when you are that tired.

They look tired while en route to the bridges, but as soon as the gates open Millie is off like a bat outta hell. Now, I never did get that expression. How fast IS a bat outta hell? Why was he there? Why was he let out? Hmmm.

So, she and Chuck haul tail over the bridges (I am sure they were causing “bridge Shakage” thus upsetting other teams), it is a race though, and they got the clue quick, fast and in a hurry.

I guess being a tired is a good excuse, but Millie and Chuck were one of the cars that the Clowns and Reichen and Chip passed. Chuck couldn’t see anything through the windshield, and had to pull over to clean it off. Here is one time they wish they were Less Offs.

By the time he finished, I guess all the other teams were gone, because Millie was forced to try to read a map. The problem is only Chuck can read a map and Millie wants him to do it while he is driving. Although he knows he can drive, and he knows he can read a map, he seems to have doubts about doing both at the same time. I think All State just lowered his insurance while simultaneously raising Millie’s.

So with Millie navigating they get hopelessly lost. Well, not hopelessly, there was hope there that they would turn their heads and see the big sign. Alas, it didn’t happen, and it took them way too long to arrive at the detour, where they opt for ping pong. Oh, wait that wasn’t a choice was it? So why did they opt for Haul then Chop then back to Haul again? Hmmm, perhaps they are not a couple of Less Offs.

It was because that’s what Millie wanted. Duh!

So after trying Haul, then trying Chop, then deciding on Haul it turns out that Millie can’t actually help here, so it’s up to Chuck to throw all 25 bunches into the truck. He is able to do it, and the two head off for the caves.

They get lost. Not Less Off’s.

I will have to assume that Millie can’t drive a stick shift, because instead of having the person that can read the map actually do so, it’s up to Chuck to drive again.

If you are worried at this point, don’t be. Millie and Chuck are not the only ones having problems, and they pull up to the caves at the same time as another team. Chuck will be climbing the ladder, and it worries me. He’s so slow and methodical. I expected him to have an engineer called in to inspect and OK the ladder for his use. Chuck surprises me and tears it up baby. He retrieves the clue and heads down to get Millie.

They run to their car and make a mad dash for the Pit Stop where they arrive…



David and Jeff 2:50am

In their few minutes of “private talk air time” we get to hear them say they are impulsive. That word brings up images in my mind. Craziness. Wild behavior. Laughing. Running. Leaping without looking.

I would have thought that CBS would have opted to show us more of this great impulsive behavior. Weird.

So these two, as usual seem to glide through the show. They make it to the rope bridges, then to the clue without much airtime. We do get to see them pulled over at the side of the road after the windshield of the car fogs up on the way to the detour. How very impulsive of them not to use the defroster. Not a Less Off type move there.

They are so impulsive that they get a little lost at the actual detour. They see another team performing their chosen task, but have not been able to locate the clue for themselves. They drive a little more, but no luck. They decide to ask the other team, who is happy to tell them where the clue is…POP QUIZ…..Which team happily told them where to find the clue?… The answer will appear at the end of the recap, in the slim chance that with the 4 other remaining teams you still can’t figure it out.

So they are told where the clue is, and you have to love the camera wo/man as s/he gets a great shot of David and Jeff in the car looking for the clue that is right behind them. Both are seen in an Emmy worthy camera shot. This team is not a Less Off.

They do find the clue. I thought I’d point it out, as they are so impulsive one might think that they just tried to figure it out without finding the clue.

These two opt for the Haul and although they too have trouble with the first few tosses, they manage to get done in pretty good time, and head off for the caves.

Once at the Roadblock it’s up to David to climb the ladder. About two-thirds of the way up you can see the basket containing their clue, but he is clueless as to how to get the clue. Not a Less Off. Once he figures out that he has to finish climbing, he gets the clue quickly and does an impressive slide/step descent to the cave floor.

The two head off for the Pit Stop and they arrive…



Kelly and Jon 3:36am

I couldn’t believe it. Here they were. How is it possible? They came in last last week. I am very disappointed in The Amazing Race for allowing them to continue, but I learn in a voice over by Phil that this is all legal, and these two are allowed to continue in the race.

Whatever.

Kelly is saying something about her and Jon’s relationship, but after hearing Phil talk, was I supposed to be able to concentrate on Kelly’s voice?

They know they are in last place. Not Less Off’s these two. Everyone knows you’re in last place dearies. They are behind all the other teams when they arrive in the jungle to find the rope bridges. They are too far behind to be able to follow anyone (perhaps because Jon took the time to pee on the local flora). The two can’t seem to find the huge trail markers and get themselves hopelessly lost in the jungle. They seem to wander around arguing for quite a while, and I would swear that I saw the same trail at least three times. Don’t blame editing, as I don’t want to hear it. They are not Less Off’s and wandered around in the same 20 square foot area for 7 hours. Well, perhaps it was only ½ an hour, but 7 hours makes me laugh, and I’m all about laughing.

So Jon finally spots the clue box, and figures out how to get there. When he yells to Kelly, she tells him to shut up. I wish he would have, but he convinced her to come, and they crossed the bridges to the box.

Kelly decides that they have no choice but to go for the Fast Forward and one of them feels confidant that no-one else would have felt the need to do so. They realize that they will have to back track many miles if someone has taken it, but go for the drive anyway.

If you’ve been reading you know that Reichen and Chip have already won the Fast Forward. I have to say that the Gods were smiling on the Orangutans that day. I honestly, and I’m not just being mean here, think that Reichen and Chip got more out of the experience than Kelly and Jon would have, which means that the Orangutans did too.

They drive for quite some time, and Kelly is severely depressed to read the notice that someone has claimed the coveted ticket to the Pit Stop.

Arguing ensues. Really! Kelly is mad, John is mad, and wrongly convinced that it was Jon and Al that took the Fast Forward. Kelly says something and Jon tells her to screw herself. Of course he didn’t actually use the word screw. Anyone remember Amanda’s vocabulary in episode one? Well, yeah, that’s the word he used.

It looks to me that Kelly is about to get out of the car, but she decides to finish the race and complete the tasks required to put them on the Mat with Phil.

So they back track to the Detour where they are convinced that Haul is the way to go. They get the number 5 wheelbarrow and load it with a few of the clusters. Now all they had to do was find the truck with the big yellow 5 on it in order to transfer the clusters into it. If they were less off’s this would be easy, considering I only saw one truck… and it had the number on it. Kelly and Jon are not Less Off’s though, so they wandered around the truck. Ran up and down the road. Looked around corners.

The camera person here is another winner as the shot we see is Kelly complaining about not being able to find the right truck while the number 5 is right at her shoulder.

I LOVE this show.

So, instead of making a moronic mistake the two go for the [b]Chop[/I] instead. Seeing Jon fly through this I have to say that right now it definitely looks like the easier of the two tasks.

The first cluster does not reveal the clue, but the second sends Kelly and Jon off to the caves for the ladder climb.

It’s Jon who will be climbing. He is there at the same time as another team and the adrenaline kicked into over drive. He and his adversary race up the ladders to the clue and race down.

Kelly and Jon run to their car and head off to the Pit Stop. They are worried, as they know this is down to a foot race and Kelly is unsure as to whether her legs (which are as long as I am tall) will be fast enough to get them to the Mat first. They drive, they park and they run. They arrive…


Pit Stop at the Sepilok Nature Resort

1. Reichen and Chip winning them a vacation
2. Jon and Al
3. David and Jeff
4. Kelly and Jon

Which of course means that Millie and Chick are out of the race.

Although there are folks that won’t miss these two, I am not one of them. I actually enjoyed watching them. For all the spunk that Millie has, Chuck possesses that amount of calmness. Millie seems concerned about their 12-year relationship and seems to think they are not meant to be together. I know we saw but a few minutes of their lives, but I would hope that she is basing that more on the 12 years than on the 30 days. I wish them both a lot of luck in the future, no matter what it is they decide to do.

*Yes, I know that moron is an actual term meaning an adult that has the mental capacity of a child between the ages of 8 and 12. I certainly did not mean to offend anyone in that age group.
It’s a joke, lighten up.

*And the answer to the POP QUIZ…. You don’t seriously need me to tell you… do you? It was of course Jon and Al. Way to go Guys.


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