Note: This is a new article we'll be doing weekly. We'll rank the top 10 moments from the previous week's reality shows. These are written and compiled by our wonderful moderators, and then arbitrarily ranked by me.

10) Worst...Hype...Ever!

What would happen if you threw a merge, and nobody came? Jeff got to find out this week, when he offered a tribal switch to anyone who wanted it, with 60 seconds to make a decision. Stephanie, who should have taken it, didn't. Neither did anyone else. I thought I saw the rest of Chuay Gahn trying to pry Jan's arm up, though. After hyping it the entire week, it was a big letdown when nobody switched.

9) Note to Jan: No More Treemail!

Chuay Gahn made a tactical error by looking for food while Jan went for Treemail. While Jan contemplated whether to leave the show with $1000 meant for the reward challenge, glass actually broke in my house as she read the clue. If the pigtails, overalls, and whatever that saggy lump is that once resembled a butt weren't enough, after reading that mail, I want to give her MY vote at the Tribal Council.

8) Dennis & Andrew's eLIMOnation

Nobody on a reality show has been eliminated with more style. After losing an entire day at the airport (and who among us hasn't done that?), this father and son team got to drive a tank, and then received a luxury limousine ride to last place. But hey, the champagne must have helped to take the edge off.

7) Visible Panty-Line?

When my friends arrive home from a date I don't instantly check to see if they're still wearing their underpants - Texas Heather does. She found Brooke lacking in the panty department. Whether Brooke actually "bagged" Aaron or whether the others just think she did is neither here nor there on a show where paranoia and perception reign supreme and full-scale war breaks out over a cell-phone number. Brilliant move Brooke. I suspect she had them tucked in her pocket all along.

6) Water, Water Everywhere, But Not a Boat to Get It

In what may turn out to be the biggest Survivor blunder yet, Ted draped the boat's rope gently over the pole stuck in the water, and thought it would hold. Chuay Gahn had to swim for water the next day, causing Helen to bare her brownish fangs. Somehow, Ted manages to deflect most of the blame. I'm still not sure how that happened, but we'll find out when the whole tribe drowns next week.

5) And the Part of the Village Idiot Will Be Played By...

Robb Zbacnik! In a moment of sheer, unparalleled genius, Robbuhbuh pointed out that his team (the Soup Guys) were "kicking butt", only to be reminded by Jiffy that his team was the one at Tribal Council. Robbuhbuh continued his Mensa-worthy observations when he was casting his vote for Shii-Ann. He said, "You get on my nerves, and I can't stand to be around you. Nothing personal." Nothing personal??? Yeah, Robbuhbuh, I'm sure once Shii-Ann sees the episode she'll be sure to put you at the top of the invitation list for her next party.

4) Please Sir, May I Have Another Chicken Neck?

Shii Ann goes straight for the neck - the chicken neck, that is, and in the process alienates her tribe. Was it the cultural differences involved in her eating the heart and neck, or the way she found each bite finger-lickin' good? If we asked her, I'm sure she'd share her thoughts on it, because she definitely has thoughts on everything. And we all know that's not as annoying as eating a chicken neck.

3) The Boy Who Cried Stingray

Watching Robb stand in the water 30 feet away from his tribe mates was fun enough. Hearing him scream, disappear, reappear, scream again, and again, and again, was pure enjoyment. The 1/4" cut on his foot looked so incredibly painful. Hearing Shii Ann tell him that a jellyfish once stung her sealed the deal on making this a classic "funny moment" for Survivor. Poor Poor Robb, lesson to be learned: if you act like an idiot all day long, no one will notice when you actually have something to scream about!

2) Misery-Go-Round

Gentlemen - Imagine getting Disney to open up their "California Adventure" just for you and five hot women who all desperately want you. Imagine being of so sure of yourself that you make yourself the "prize" in a skee-ball competition.
Imagine the look of horror you would have on your face if the winner were a psycho stalker from hell. Now look in the mirror. See that look on your face? That's exactly how "The Bachelor" - Aaron, looked when he took his carousel ride with Christi. It's also pretty similar to the look on Christi's face when she didn't receive a rose. Very brave, Aaron. Hope you manage to sleep okay with one eye open, and your neck doesn't get to sore from permanently looking over your shoulder.

And the winner of the week is…

1) Ken & Gerard's Excellent Punt-Poling Adventure

When you're poling a punt, preparation is paramount. Poor positioning will predicate a plunge into the pool of putrid water. Gerard found this out the hard way. Losing his balance 3 times and falling into the river, he at least still had a smile on his face, and bowed to the cheering and laughing crowd. We couldn't help but laugh, but at least this time, we were laughing with them, and not at them.