The View

[Veruka]

I did mean that Elizabeth should have these conversations with her children as they get older and ask her the questions that she's anticipating them asking. I don't recall her saying she didn't know how to explain things to her children right now.

I believe that she was talking about the here and now, and not the future. As PugMum mentioned, she talked about what she'd do / how she'd explain it if Grace and Jeffrey were playing together, and Jeffrey used the word because he'd heard his mom say it.

[Bunny555]

I believe that she was talking about the here and now, and not the future. As PugMum mentioned, she talked about what she'd do / how she'd explain it if Grace and Jeffrey were playing together, and Jeffrey used the word because he'd heard his mom say it.

Well then that's a simple "We don't use that word in our home" and leave it at that until she's older. It's the same reaction she should have for any word that is not acceptable for her children to be using.

[prhoshay]

One of the kids at the community center (racially mixed) explained that he had been told that it was a curse word that he was never to use. Pretty good approach, I thought. He had heard one of the kids use it, and he was in the "I'm telling!" mode. He was about 9.

[Veruka]

Well then that's a simple "We don't use that word in our home" and leave it at that until she's older. It's the same reaction she should have for any word that is not acceptable for her children to be using.

Fair enough. However, given the weight that this particular word carries with it, I'm not sure that I'd classify explaining it in quite the same way I would various swear words which for whatever reason have been deemed inappropriate for children to say, but don't carry the hatred and hurt with them. If a four year old says "oh s*!t", his parents can giggle uncomfortably, remind him that he should not say that word, give a "you know how kids are" look to the people passing by, and move on with their day. If that same kid says the n-word, I'm not so sure that hte same knowing look and reprimand would be understood in quite the same way.

I think that is the issue that Elisabeth was raising. Both she and Whoopi agreed that the goal is to move past the hurt. So is the best way to do that to keep it around and try to null it, or to do what can be done to just flat out eliminate it? There is no right or wrong answer to that question. Whoopi has one point of view, Elisabeth has another. They both expressed them. Isn't that the point of the show?

[Bunny555]

Fair enough. However, given the weight that this particular word carries with it, I'm not sure that I'd classify explaining it in quite the same way I would various swear words which for whatever reason have been deemed inappropriate for children to say, but don't carry the hatred and hurt with them. If a four year old says "oh s*!t", his parents can giggle uncomfortably, remind him that he should not say that word, give a "you know how kids are" look to the people passing by, and move on with their day. If that same kid says the n-word, I'm not so sure that hte same knowing look and reprimand would be understood in quite the same way.

I find a couple of the words that are sometimes used in reference to women to be just as offensive and carry the same weight. None have ever been acceptable in my home. Point being, Elizabeth may want to preotect her children from the ugliness of the world but seeing as that's not a realistic probability then she will need to have conversations with them that she may not want to have and yes some of those may need to start now on an age-appropriate level.

Whoopi has one point of view, Elisabeth has another. They both expressed them. Isn't that the point of the show?

Absolutely.

[Veruka]

I find a couple of the words that are sometimes used in reference to women to be just as offensive and carry the same weight. None have ever been acceptable in my home. Point being, Elizabeth may want to preotect her children from the ugliness of the world but seeing as that's not a realistic probability then she will need to have conversations with them that she may not want to have and yes some of those may need to start now on an age-appropriate level.

I don't think that it's "protecting" so much as it is finding a reasonable explanation for the acceptance of double standards. And I think that Elisabeth is far from the only one who struggles with that.

[angelic_one2002]

I find a couple of the words that are sometimes used in reference to women to be just as offensive and carry the same weight. None have ever been acceptable in my home. Point being, Elizabeth may want to preotect her children from the ugliness of the world but seeing as that's not a realistic probability then she will need to have conversations with them that she may not want to have and yes some of those may need to start now on an age-appropriate level.

Good post, Bunny555. Elisabeth is no different than most mothers wanting to protect her children from the ugliness of the world..but as you said, its not realistic..and she better start NOW in talking to them, because its never too soon. She also needs to stop the fountain of tears and get a grip.

[prhoshay]

This whole thing has been made into Big Bad Whoopi made Poor Little Elisabeth cry...mediawise. Gimme a break!

Shame on Whoopi for having life experience, I guess, huh?

[barefootdyke]

This whole thing has been made into Big Bad Whoopi made Poor Little Elisabeth cry...mediawise. Gimme a break!

kinda like rosie and elisabeth last year, huh?

[tapper01]

kinda like rosie and elisabeth last year, huh?

so maybe Rosie wasn't the problem was she...