2/14 Drew Barrymore/Kelis
Episode XII: Drew Barrymore and Kelis
<B> Opening Words </B>
The news came out, Jeff Richards is no longer part of the cast, and no one really knows the reasons behind his termination, but I do have some mixed feelings about it…and since this is my little time in the sun, I think I’ll share (ooh, what a good idea)
This is bad for SNL because: Well, who do they have to do impersonations anymore? He was being groomed to take over Hammond’s spot as the chief impersonator of the cast. He did have some dead-on’s (like Busey) but he was learning the way. Plus, when Dean was the front runner, it looked like he’d have a whole year of sketches based around of him…plus he was getting some more airtime in general, so it’s a blow to the show
This is good for SNL because: Well, it gives the other guys- Fred, Will, Kenan, Seth…ok, mainly Will more airtime. One less person to compete against for airtime, especially at that coveted 12.55 timeslot (it’s not like they’re on much else) and it frees up the logjam. Plus it looks like Seth will get his time with Kerry, so…more Will time. One can hope.
Plus they got one, possibly two new females/writers on the cast, so hopefully it’ll stink significantly less, not that I’m biased or anything
<B> Beforehand </B>
It’s Valentine’s day. Either you’re together or you’re alone. Either way, tomorrow’s another day.
<B> Cold Opening </B> Al Gore
Hammond tries to show he has some use left doing impersonations. He has the voice down, but he seems to break in and out of it. Kind of a shame. Seth has more work to do with Kerry, but he has time to work on it. He’s only done it for, what a month or two? This is one of those sketches people have expected this for a while, and SNL delivered. Nothing much to this one, it wasn’t real funny. Just the standard ‘please don’t support me’ speiel. Nothing you couldn’t see coming from a mile away.
Hammond does the Live from SNL this week.
Actors: Hammond, Amy, Seth
Best Line: Seth: I’m going into a tunnel. I’m in my cell phone Crackle Crackle Crackle.
<B> Monologue </B>
Drew Barrymore tells the audience that she hosted when she was 7. ET comes out, they gab. Then c3po comes out, Drew says she was never in that. Then the old lady from poltergeist. Darth Vader comes out and she says he’s her dad. She, the whole time says she was never in these movies.
Actors: Seth, Forte, Dratch, Hammond
Best Line: Forte- I came back to do a stint on I love the 80’s
<B> Versace Valentine’s </B>
This returns since…the Christmas eggnog disaster. Elton and Donatella do a duet to don’t go breakin’ my heart then dOnnatella breaks her champagne glass. Amy comes on as Madonna, promoting her children’s book. Do we even care about Madonna anymore? Donatella is not happy with the book and kicks her out. Drew comes in as a wasted Courtney Love. Do we even care about her, either? They go back and forth. Donatella tells her she can trash the house, but not trash her ‘precious moments figurines’ Courtney then…oh shock, trashes the figurines. They go into a ‘you’re a bitch, no you’re a bitch’ back and forth. Elton calms them down. . Not funny.
Usually, the Donatella sketch has one funny line, not this time. I’ll give a pity point for…Horatio as Elton is always worth a point. Way too long as well.
Actors: Maya, Horatio, Amy
Best Line: Maya: that’s Elton john Drew: I thought it was Rosie O’Donnel
<B> Jarret’s Room</B>
Wow, this is the first time this has been on this year. I like it, sometimes. However, in the beginning, they can’t stop laughing at each other. DJ Jonathan Feinstein is Outkast. Horatio and Jimmy do their usual banter. Drew Barrymore plays Gobi’s sister, who plans to give Howard Dean a joint so he can calm down. Jimmy fantasizes about “Gobi’s sister” but at the end it turns out to be Gobi? Was it a dream? Or was it? This sketch was a homage to Wayne’s world, so I guess points go back to memories of the gory days.
I always like this sketch, only for DJ Feinstein. But its one of those sketches you seem to forget about, but when it’s on, you wonder why its not on more? Will be missed when Jimmy leaves next year.
Actors: Fallon, Seth, Horatio
Best Line: many ties: Horatio: Free Chong. She didn’t do anything. She married Maury Povich, so what. Free Connie Chong. Horatio: No Way, Dean Cain’s running for President? And Horatio: You didn’t have a dream where you were naked and Ronald McDonald was beating you up with his shoe?
Rating: 8/10 (for Horatio’s one liners and the homage)
<B> Next Week </B> Christina Aguilera and Maroon 5.
1. Ok, why is she not doing both guest and musical?
2. What is she promoting?
3. Should be great….i’ll get my “3’s” ready
<B> Access Hollywood </B>
Pat O’Brien interviews Charlize Theron. Apparently, she’s an idiot? I don’t know because I can honestly say I’ve never seen her in anything. *shrugs* Clips of Her in monster. Interview, clip of her playing a part with an axe in her head. More interview, clip of her playing a part with a pig nose. Clip of her doing a voiceover of Capatin Lou Albano…or is she supposed to actually be the Captain? Jimmy does the “I can’t smell, I don’t use my nose” lines over and over, and nothing real funny here, a point for old Albano footage. One Pat O’Brien nose joke is funny. Two is ok, there is eh, four….seven you ask yourself if they have new material or not?
Best Line: Jimmy: I smell Oscar. I’m just kidding. I haven’t smelled anything since I was 15.
This isn’t looking too good if the first two out of the gate get such low scores.
<B> Octane </b>
Promo for the newest biker movie, with action scenes with matchbox cars. More of a commercial than anything, but you know what, I have to like something about this show, and I’ll say this was amusing. Best thing of the night
Actors:Maya, Finesse, Seth, Kenan,
Best Line: --
<B> Musical Performance </b> Kelis.
Would she be as popular if she didn’t have that fro? Would it be popular if it weren’t produced by the Neptunes? Can we just say one hit wonder and get past it?
All I can say is, does anyone remember when she first came out with that song “I hate you so much right now” ? Anyone? You know what, this may be too obvious, but how come McDonalds hasn’t’ capitalized on this yet? They’re mad hip funky cool now.
<B> Weekend Update </B>
Fey starts off bUsh’s military records. Best they can come up with is “he was a part of the Kiss army” was ok. scores big with a pepperment patty lesbian joke “moving to Mass.”
Fallon does a Kerry joke with a Clinton punchline. Ok. Does a J-Lo joke. Nt so over.
Fey does a panda=food joke. Some laughed.
Jimmy does a missing mascot head joke – eh…
Fey does a carnivale /Clinton joke. Pretty over. Morning after pill joke, with herself as the punchline ok.
Fallon does an old lady online joke, fey acts like a old lady smoking bombs. They talk to eatch other ugh. Does a prisoner using a gun made from toilet paper joke…good.
Maya comes on as Diana Ross in Jail. Tina interviews her. Sad thing is, the funniest part of this bit is Finesse playing “Roberta” her crazy cellmate. Somehow the crowd is laughing for this one. I don’t know why. “I’m in jail” [laughter]. I don’t get it.
That’s it? That’s…extremely short. Pencil..don’t know where it goes.
That totally sucked. The crowd didn’t laugh for anything, the jokes were flat. HORRIBLE! When you’re cornerstone WU sucks big time, oh it’s going to be an ugly ugly show. And you know what, this is sweeps month, and you put garbage like this on? Not good at all. The Diana Ross thing a) wasn’t funny b) was too long and c) killed anything that they had gong for it.
Actors: Fallon, Fey, Maya, Finesse
Best Line: Tina: in related news, Peppermint Patty and Marcie have moved to Massachusetts.
<B> Mike’s Bar </b>
Flashback to Kerry back in the early 70’s, and who comes in, just graduamated George Bush, and who’s playing George W? Forte?! Bush just graduated and they meet at the bar. Hmm…forte’s impersonation. Seth’s Kerry impersonation is much better here. They go back and forth.... Clinton comes in. Bush and Clinton joke around while Kerry, the war guy on break, is somber. Drew comes in as Hillary Rodham. Um…ok. 2 weeks in a Row with Hammond with a joint…hmmm…but it was the saving grace from I think they’re just stretching to get Hammond some impersonations
About Forte’s impersonation. He seems to have the speech pattern down, something that Hammond could not, however it just sounds like Will Forte speaking funny, but I see potential.
Actors: Parnell, Seth, Forte, Hammond
Best Line: Forte: I don’t like humour you have to think about too much
<B> Larry King </B>
Fallon takes a crack at Larry King. He has nothing on Norm. Drew plays Anna Nicole, who explains her weight loss. Larry asks dumb questions and Anna Nicole answers them dumbly. Ugh. Not good at all.
Best Line: Drew: I’ve got a biscuit Larry
<B> BBC America: Spy Glass </b>
Wow, this returned, I am shocked. It wasn’t that funny last time, IMO, but I guess it was better this time. I guess this is why WU was so short, need all the bad puns for this oneDrew plays Jenny Belvedere, who stole Grenyth‘s purse, to look through it Jimmy plays the British Pat O’ Brien…again. To NO RESPONSE! That’s the point you realize it’s overkill. It’s really sad when this is better than Weekend Upate. Really sad.
Actors: Amy, Seth, Jimmy
Best Line: --
<B> Scott Wainio </B>
Is this a sketch? I see the NBC logo. How many people can talk into an invisible microphone What? Was this supposed to be on Leno or something? I’m sooo confused. One thing, no mincrophone, no talent, no thanks.
This really had no point or anything. He’s a writer for the show, and was the keyboard player for the old Dog Show sketches.
<B> White Stripes Superheroes </b>
White stripes suck. They play superheroes but just singing. The funny thing is they play just as bad as them. There was nothing good about this sketch, but it wasn’t worse than Scott Wainio above, so I have to give it a point. Just don’t get their popularity…
Actors: Kenan, Parnell, Jimmy
Best Line: none.
<B> Musical Performance </B> Kelis
<B>Prince Show </B>
Prince has a talk show. Fred has the voice and everything down. Good stuff. Maya plays beyonce, who doesn’t look, sound, or resemble her. Someone said she looks like she’s pregnant, and I might have to agree on that one. She does look a tad bit shapelier than in the beginning of the year. Drew is pink, whom I cannot stand. Nothing great with the back and forth action. He tells Pink to take a bath and she does. Kenan gets his 12.50 timeslot as George Clinton. He does a good Clinton. You know what, this may be a little long for a 12.50 sketch, but I really liked it. This has to be one of the better last sketches in a while. I hope this comes back again.
Actors: Armison, Maya , Kenan
Best Line: Maya: Prince needs to light some candles (pan to Prince standing in the background with a grill lighter)
Rating: 7/10 (points off for pink)
12.56 commercial…..that’s it, no last minute, nada
12.57.50 they’re back..quick, cut it off for something else. I need a friends commercial because I just can’t let go of them. .. and they make it through the credits. 12.59. One minute to spare. . . tsk tsk tsk.
<B> Overall </B> The first time I watched it, live, I thought this could have easily been a nominee for the worst episode of the decade (currently being held by Jennifer Aniston), but I watched it again this morning and it wasn’t bad. Overall, the writing wasn’t that great, but Drew did the best she could. Granted, I think we might have a winner for worst thing that made it to air this year (that ‘I don’t have a mic, let me interview you bit’). Who the hell thought that would be funny? But the gut reaction, in general, more polarized than after you have some time to think about it. So it went from feeling like I 3 (I left a note last night 2.5-3 nothing more) to a 4.5 tonight. It has potential to make episodes in the future better.
<B> Overall Rating 57/130 (.438)</B>
Felt Like: 4.5-5
Performer of the night: Seth. It looks like they’re going to push him now…
Worst of the Night: Dratch. She’s only on for what, 30 seconds?
Line of the Night: Either of the Horatio lines in Jarret’s room.
Appearance in Sketches: (tonight/season)
Jeff Richards 0/22 No Longer a troupe member
Thank you for reading again this week .