Psi's Review 1/11 Jennifer Aniston
Episode IX: Jennifer Aniston and Black Eyed Peas.
<B> Opening Words </B>
Happy new Year everyone. Um…I have very little expectations for this episode. After watching Comedy Central’s “let’s let the 16 year olds pick the top episodes list,” nevertheless. Top 50…then I come back to this year’s crapola. Freaking great.
And I think I know the problem. A lack of original characters. Back in the late 90’s there was the ladies man, the cheerleaders, the clubbers…ok, most will Ferrell stuff were original characters, but when he left, so did all the originality. We need something new. I don’t watch the show to see the host, and forget the musical guess. I want to see…what they haven’t done yet. There’s been one wake up Wakefield, one time traveler, one falconer, two donatellas, back in the day they used to be every week, now it’s every month. No wonder they’re spiraling downwards. Just wait until Fallon, Darryl and I assume Horatio leave. What characters do we have left? Oi.
<B> Beforehand </B>
Never try to help people. I was on IRC, when some random Czech guy PMed me, so I had to find a translator (which there wasn’t really one), I explain to him that he has made a mistake. Then I wanted to ask him a question…then he disappears. What did we learn? Don’t help people; it’s not worth it. It annoys me. Oh well, hopefully this show can save the day.
<B> Cold Opening </B> Donald Trump
Why not just give every opening sketch to Hammond? He’s done all but one (kobe) I think. Its safe to assume that this is the only time he’s on this episode and every other one. Maybe a token cameo here or there, but nothing major. I never thought I’d say it, but he should have left last year. Trump hocks his new show, the apprentice, only as trump can do it. Fallon comes in as Zucker and…doesn’t really add much. Wasn’t painful, wasn’t anything great either.
Actors: Hammond, Fallon
Best Line: Hammond: Fear Factor, I wouldn’t touch it. It’s the classiest show on the network
<B> Monologue </B>
Jennifer’s out again for the second time with…why is she scratching her head all the time? Lice becoming that big of a problem? I doubt anyone’s really noticing because her headlights are on, big time. “so excited to be here for the second time.” Yeah, can’t argue with you there Quick intro then to a friends clip, which is one of the ‘alternate endings.’ I can’t stand the show, but the cast did get the mannerisms down. Horatio playing Joey was also good for a laugh. Not a fan of the sketch in general with joey killing himself at the end, but points for the mannerisms. I think her pants are falling down too. Perhaps she shops at the same store as pink does.
Actors: Maya, Amy, Seth, Fallon, Horatio
Best Line: Seth as Chandler: Can I be any more excited?
And again no fake commercial, only real ones…
<B>red carpet paparazzi</B>
Jennifer plays a paparazzi, harassing the stars. This is almost painful. They ramble on and complain about the people they photograph. Sure this may more of a social commentary or something, but it’s not funny. They had a month off and this is the best they can do? This is something that should be on at the 12.30 hour, not right off the bat. The crowd was even having a hard time buying this one.
Actors: Amy, Fallon
Best Line: Oh that’s not Kirstie Alley, that’s Steven Segal
Next week Nick Lachey Jessica Simpson and G-Unit. It’s guests like these that make me glad I chose to sit down and watch these episodes in their entirety twice…
<B> Brittany’s Vegas wedding</B>
a chronology into Brittany’s wedding. Crowd wasn’t buying this one either. I don’t even need to start on this one.
Actors: Fallon, Dratch
Best Line: none
<B> Commercial 1 </B> Gaystrogen
Again…….That’s three times this year. It wasn’t funny then, it’s not funny now. However it does boost up the stats for these guys in ‘sketch appearances’
Actors: Armison, Parnell, Finesse,
Best Line: none…
Is Jimmy going to be in every sketch? It’s a shame that bush makes a completely bonehead statement like ‘I want to put a man on mars,’ something that, any other election would make people think ‘ok…whackjob. See you later,’ but I don’t see a chance for these bums. I give points for the accuracy. They have no chance in hell
Actors: Seth, Amy, Hammond, Parnell, Kenan, Forte, Fallon
Best Line: Kenan: I’m like a real life Chris Rock movie
<b> Performance 1 </b>
remember when Black Eyed Peas were good and they didn’t decide to sellout? Remember that…oh what was the name of the video where they rapped backwards. Not editing or anything, they really did the whole thing backwards. That was talent. Remember when they used to breakdance at their shows? What happened to that? This is pop-rap. . . and when did they get a white girl? They don’t look like they’re having a good time either.
<B> Weekend Update </B>
Hopefully this can save the crapfest known as tonight’s episode. Hopefully Tina won’t laugh at her stupid jokes. Too much wishing? I think so. Jimmy comes out with great jokes, and we get tina laughing. Great contrast. Jimmy, however, in the first part, can’t miss with his jokes. Richards comes out and talks about holding his baby while feeding his croc, but is holding a chicken in a diaper instead. Tina likes her juggs comment. Ugh. So much for that. Finesse comes out playing OJ. Nothing against him, but it’s unfortunate when I remember watching two weeks ago the top 50, and Tim Meadows doing OJ. No comparison…I guess that sums up this season right here. Amison and Blake come out as part of the alleged murders triad. I don’t know what was with Tina’s maniacal laughter after her Jackson loves boys jokes…oi.
Al Franken? What’s he doing on here? A strange pleasant surprise but didn’t really go anywhere. Kinda ruined it, the big strong beginning gives way to tina’s STUPID laughter and Al’s pointless, way too long, recycled bit, point off for that. That armison bit went on for like four mintues. Totally killed all the momentum.
Actors: Fallon, Fey, Richards, Finesse, Armison, Hammond
Best Line: Jimmy’s Bush joke
<B> Osama </B>
They haven’t had an Osama sketch in a long time…Saddam calls him from Prison. Haven’t seen Horatio as Saddam in a while. Oh great. Fallon and Horatio in a scene together. Oh great. They go breaking character. *bangs head against wall* That digressed fast. Oh no. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Suprisingly, they did manage to get it back together for the end. Actually making it though a sketch should get a point or two…oh wait, they break character a dozen other times. It seemed more improvised than anything, but it was funny, but the point that killed it was when they said they were looking at the monitors. Again, stuff that only seems funny to them. So a couple points off for that, but it was really funny for once, as opposed to them just breaking character and it being really painful
Actors: Fallon, Armison, Horatio
Best Line: Although I don’t have a have a picture phone, but I can picture you as ron Jeremy in an orange jump phone
<B> Country Roses </B>
Country compilation…funny. As funny as dental surgery. A random country comp where the lyrics get more random and random by the song. A point for mentioning corn. That’s it. It really deserves a one, but a pity point here or there can’t hurt.
Actors: Amy, Dratch, Maya
Best Line: Amy: Sweet Sweet memories of boilin’ corn
<B> Coco & Matsui </B>
Here’s an original character. I hope it works. Knowing how this episode goes, probably not. Jennifer goes on a Japanese show, and they try to speak English and just sound slow and retarded. Some awkward silence in the sketch makes me realize that I did hope for too much with this sketch. Jennifer proceeds to interview herself. She reminded me a little bit of Cheri O’Teri there. Hmmm…
Nevertheless, I don’t expect to see this segment back anytime soon.
Actors: Maya, Armison
Best Line: --
<B> Performance Two </B>
its funny they tell the white girl..what’s her name, fergie (or something close to that) to shake it…and she doesn’t really have anything to shake. This reminds me of something that Outkast would do. There’s the breakdancing. At least they looked like they were having fun there. But very strange.
Now we’re into the garbage time…and if the first half was pure crap, this must be …torture.
<B> Appalachian Emergency Room </B>
Lets make fun of rednecks. Whoopy. Ok, Jimmy in another sketch. Christ. Let’s get some variety. How about some Will Forte. What ever happened to that guy? Must I start my rants again to get him back on the air? We get it. Rednecks are dumb and do stupid things. Ugh. I’m looking for a way to give this the standard bad=3, but I can’t even do that much.
Actors: Seth, Hammond, Amy, Parnell, Fallon, Horatio
Best Line: --
<B> Sex Line </B>
Finally Will Forte gets his 30 second cameo. Jennifer plays an inept sex-talk operator. Last sketch of the night, I expect little. I got even less. However I did like the ending where she finds the right caller in Kenan. A point for that.
Actors: Maya, Amy, Will, Parnell, Armison, Kenan
Best Line: are you my wiener man?
Credits come and are cut off in ten seconds for an average joe 2 commercial. Blah.
This was a horrible horrible episode. Words cannot describe how bad it was. I was going to say worst of the decade, but upon the second viewing, I did find the osama sketch to be funny and..i don’t know, bumped up a sketch or two up a point or two, but it was just painfully bad. It wasn’t Jennifer’s fault. Whoever thought that the paparazzi, hick hospital, happy fun japanesse everyone crap…er..clap hour was funny should be shot.
<B> Overall Rating: 51/120 (.425)</B>
Felt Like: 3.5
Performer of the Night: Fallon. He was in a lot of sketches, so I guess he should get rewarded.
Worst of the Night: Can I pick the writers again? I don’t know. Maybe Finesse only because Tim Meadows did a better OJ.
Appearance in sketches (this week/season total)
Final Words: Happy New Year. Things can only get better from here, right?
blaho noc každý! (good night!)