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Thread: Saturday Night Live

  1. #191
    PSi
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    well at least its the final episode of the season.

    here's some spoilers that should be happening.
    Click to see Spoiler:
    Hardball
    Bush with his shirt off
    New York Minute parodies
    A sketch with flashbacks and dogs
    Some musical sketches

    ...and it's Jimmy's last show


    for those who can't wait that last....10 or os hours

  2. #192
    Dash Parr macontosh2000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PSi
    well at least its the final episode of the season.

    here's some spoilers that should be happening.
    Click to see Spoiler:

    ...and it's Jimmy's last show

    Its his last show ...................
    Is he the only one leaving this season?

  3. #193
    PSi
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    I don't know.
    no one really knows who's leaving and whatnot. We all know who *should* leave, but no one knows for sure.

    Eh...he had a chance to become THE SNL guy, but he blew it. oh well. maybe they'll get someone good next year.

  4. #194
    FORT Fogey Clipse's Avatar
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    I just got home and caught the last 20 minutes. I have to say, I am not too impressed with these shows any more. I like Weekend Update and laugh when they break character but they really need new writers.

  5. #195
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    <B> Episode XX: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon</B>


    <B> Beforehand </B>

    The season’s finally over. No more disappointments. No more garbage sketches. No more poor writing. No more Jimmy. It’s been a long….long year. Thanks to everyone who read this or even commented on this. This made this tedious job seem worthwhile.


    <B> Cold Opening </B> Hardball

    Welcome to Haba. They discuss the Iraqi prisoners. Hammond trips over his lines in the beginning. Parnell plays part of the White House Staff who rubbernecks Bush. Seth is Kerry, who plans to say nothing about anything. He then announces Sharpton (kenan) as his VP canidate. Poor Kenan All his characters are poor imitations of ones Tracy Morgan did. This, Star Jones, random black guy #2. This sketch didn’t have enough Hammond yelling at people. Too much Myers talking. Might as well have been Nightline.
    Hammond gets the Live, and the record.

    Actors: Hammond, Parnell, Myers, Kenan
    Best Line: Parnell: I’m fine. Hammond: I didn’t ask.
    Length: 5.45
    Rating: 6

    <B> Monologue </B>

    They are two tiny tiny people. They’re missing their prom. Awww. They look sick. Jimmy comes on stage to take Ashley to the prom. Will takes Mary Kate. They…do like a bad jr high drama performace of the prom. It’s just not good at all. A point for Will’s wine comment. .

    Actors: Jimmy, Will, Rachael, Fred, Maya, Parnell, Amy.
    Best Line: Will: We’re going to a black neighborhood and try to buy wine.
    Length: 4.15
    Rating: 4


    <B> Paparazzi</B>

    Oh God No. They did this with Aniston and it was horrible. This makes me want to cry, just watching this garbage. The twins aren’t even trying. They’re just holding the cameras and not really paying attention.

    Actors: Amy
    Best Line: Amy: That’s not Dakota Flemming, That’s David Spade.
    Length: 345
    Rating: 3

    <B> MK&A perfume</B>

    now they’re selling their own perfume. The two perfumes are different, yet similar.

    Actors: parnell, amy
    Best Line: 1.10
    Length:
    Rating: C


    <B> Zoo Crew </B>

    …and we’re back! MJ&A play…gasp…themselves. Fallon trashes NY Minute and MK&A just sit there. Pain.
    Fart Humor is NOT funny. A point for saying that NY Minute is terrible.

    Actors: Fallon
    Best Line: New York Minute. Terrible Film. Don’t go see it.
    Length: 5.00
    Rating: 4

    <B> Next Week </B> Season’s over, but best of Christopher Walken…..

    …to reward us for having to sit through this steaming pile.

    <B> The Swan </B>

    Don’t watch this show, so I don’t really know. Amy comes back with her one legged woman. I wonder if she’s leaving? Why bring up all these obscure characters. Cut to a quick fox5 newsbreak, where the newswoman freaks out…They bring on experts to talk. The other Olsen is behind the mirror, and they can’t sync up as one turns the wrong way.
    Um…I guess it’s average. 5.

    Actors: Maya, Parnell, Amy, Dratch, Fey, Myers
    Best Line: Parnell: Vicki is what we doctors call ‘fugly’
    Length: 6.20
    Rating: 5.

    <B> Performance 1 </B> J-Kwon

    Teen Rappers….teens ruined rock, they ruined pop, now they’ll ruin rap. He gets Tipsy in the club with his fake ID and flashes his guns to people.
    The backup rapper sings “where the white girls at when I’m tipsy” during the chorus…that’s not in the song.
    He put energy into it.

    <B> Weekend Update </B>

    The last WU for Jimmy. Awww…if only we could say the same for Tina. Talks about Iraqi phots, then…of course there has to be Tina doing an Arnold impersonation, which the crowd just eats up.
    Jimmy reviews Troy like a 13 year old girl. Crowd loves it.
    More on Iraqi photos.
    Then…Horatio joins. Play doomed music. Eventually they laugh. But it goes on and on and on
    You hear someone go to the ending. Jimmy thanks everyone, and keeps the pencil.
    It was ok. They use old bits that never worked before (like fight club) but the crowd bought it.

    Actors: Fallon, Fey, Horatio
    Best Line: Fallon: Even to Chinese People, Chinese look alike.
    Length: 10.05
    Rating: 5


    <B>Pat n Patti’s Backpack Shack </B>

    pronounce it like “pyeat n pyeattis byeakpack shyeak” and that’s the basis of the sketch. That’s it.
    MK&A dress as ducks to sing the jingle.

    Actors: Horatio, Maya, Fallon
    Best Line: --
    Length: 2.45
    Rating: 3

    <B> Access Hollywood </B>

    A farewell Pat O Brien. Hell, every other character has had a send-off, why not give him a send off? What’s next, nick burns? Armison plays the lesser known triplet. Best sketch of the night…by default.

    Actors: Fallon, Armison, Myers
    Best Line: “That’s just Questionable Writing”
    Length: 3.40
    Rating: 6

    <B> Bloater Brothers</B>

    The Bloater brothers return for their farewell. They flash back to when they hit on twins in the late 70’s at the roller rink. Bloaters hit on the Olsens, then they all end up in bed…with Don Pardo, who looked…old.

    Actors: Fallon, Parnell, Rachael, Amy
    Best Line: --
    Length: 3.40
    Rating: 5


    <B> Family BBQ</B>

    The Memorial day BBQ. The crowd is eerily silent.

    Actors: Parnell, Amy, Myers, Horatio, Rachael, Forte
    Best Line: 4.00
    Length:
    Rating: 4

    <B> a short film</B>

    a short film about a kid with premature male-pattern baldness. A film by T. Sean Shannon.
    Adam mckay’s were better

    Length: 2.15
    Rating: C-

    <B> Last Sketch of the Show </B>

    They do a Grease spoof, which I in good conscience cannot reward.


    Actors: Parnell, Hammond, Myers, Armison, Maya, Rachael, Amy, Horatio, Finesse, Kenan, Forte, Fey, Fallon
    Best Line: Amy: No more Orgies Thursday night
    Length: 4.00
    Rating: 4

    <B> Overall </B> 48/110 (4.4)
    Felt like: 4.
    Best Actor: in tribute- Jimmy.
    Worst Actor: none.

    This season can boil down to “questionable writing.” No use in going on. It’s over, have a good summer all….
    And thank you for reading all season.

  6. #196
    PSi
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    SNL Awards.

    Here's my Impartial :rolleyes awards for the 2003-04 season. Enjoy.

    Ad-lib/Flub of the Year
    Debbie Downer (Lohan)
    Top O the Mornin (Affleck)
    Father and Son (Trump)
    Osama and Saddam (Aniston)

    Winner: Debbie Downer. A total no-brainer. This is when breaking character actually works. Jimmy and Horatio should take note instead of looking at each other and laughing at fools. First its cute, but when TVGuide Jeers you for it, you know its sad.

    Best Commercial
    Octane
    Only Thailand
    Tylenol Xtreme
    Tressant Supreme

    Winner: This was a close one, but I’m going to have to give this one with the Thailand commercials. They were a) a perfect parody of the Vegas ads b) funny and c) it made you go “what? Let me watch that again” That gets the nod over second place Octane.

    Worst Commercial
    Huggies Thong
    Gaystrogen
    Cryogenix

    Winner: Huggies’ Thong. This is a no-brainer. I wasn’t a fan of this when it first aired. Then it aired again and again and again. Just to add to the unmitigated pain.

    Longest Sketch
    Osama talks to Saddam (Aniston) 7.15

    It just went on and on and on.

    Shortest Sketch (non-commercial/interlude)
    Adult Film Awards (Lohan) 1.25

    A short throwaway 12:57 sketch.

    Best Impression
    Kermit – Will Forte
    Donald Trump – Darryl Hammond
    Prince – Fred Armison

    Winner: Donald Trump. The fourth nominee was going to be Clinton, but that’s getting played to death, so I narrowed it down to three, and when you’re in a sketch with the guy you’re impersonating staring right at you, then you’re an easy winner.

    Worst Impression
    Arnold Schwarzenegger –Darryl Hammond
    Don Zimmer – Horatio Sanz
    Condi Rice - Maya Rudolph
    Star Jones – Kenan Thompson

    Winner: Tie: Rice and Arnold. When Janet Jackson out impersonates you, you know you’re in the dumps, and Daryl’s Arnold is just plain abysmal. I couldn’t decide which is worse, so I’ll just say that they’re equally bad.

    Best Original Character/Sketch
    Tim Calhoun
    The Prince Show
    Zinger

    Winner: Tim Calhoun. His one WU bit and sketch with Colin Firth made this character a) enjoyable to watch and b) grossly underused. All of the nominees were in a total of 2 sketches each. Not much to choose from.

    Worst Original Character/Sketch
    Ferecito
    Starkeesha
    Merv the Perv

    Winner: Ferecito. I know the only real new one this year was Starkeesha, but Ferecito is so bad that I can’t help but to say that it is worse than anything that Starkeesha could throw at us…and they tried hard.

    Best New Character of the Year
    Prince
    Zinger

    Winner: Prince. This season has been really lacking in the development of original characters. That is reason #1 why I think SNL was so bad this year. Prince beats out Zinger in a close one. (BTW- new character means more than 1 episode)

    Line of the Year (host)
    Jimmy: She couldn’t even cure a ham. Justin: Awww, the ham is sick (Timberlake)
    People ask me how do you it all…and I say ‘Who the f... are you? Get away from my limo’ (Ripa)
    This Idiot [Jimmy] was laughing the whole time (Trump)

    Winner: Kelly Ripa. It’s hard when most of the memorable lines (even those not mentioned on the list) come from the cast members, the host is just usually there, and this stood out. Simple as that.

    Line of the Year (non-host)
    Jack Black: You puked in a top hat on Halloween. Horatio: I was Dressed as Abraham Drinkin! (Black)
    Will: And Justin can you say you’re sorry to Will for being a douche bag (Timberlake)
    Will: I’m gonna read the bible…Done. Poor Jesus.(Berry)
    Parnell: So you keep a wrinkled sack of nuts in your buddy’s underwear? (Nick/Jessica)
    Horatio: Free Chong. She didn’t do anything. She married Maury Povich, so what? (Barrymore)

    Winner: Jack Black. I liked the Abraham Drinkin line. That was the only thing I liked out of the Black episode and it just grew on me then. All of the other ones gave me a laugh, but nothing tops Abraham Drinkin.

    Best Line in Weekend Update
    Jimmy: In California, grocery clerks went on strike. This is the second time in two weeks Gray Davis is out of a job.(Berry)
    Jimmy: …dinosaurs are now called Jesus horses (Aguilera)
    Jimmy: Singer Norah Jones turned 25 on Tuesday, her fans turned 50.

    Winner: Jesus Horses. I liked Jesus horses line then and I liked it now. Granted this category I didn’t really focus much time on because I’m almost at the point where I can’t watch Tina Fey’s antics anymore, so I just fast forwarded past these, but I liked Jesus horses.

    Best Monologue
    Kelly Ripa
    Jennifer Aniston
    Affleck

    Winner: Kelly Ripa. JB made that sketch 100x funnier that it was going to be. For that, an easy victory for ms. Ripa.

    Worst Monologue
    Justin Timberlake
    Lindsay Lohan
    Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

    Winner: Justin Timberlake.
    Don’t pull an MC Hammer and give yourself a third performance in the monologue.

    Best Concept for a sketch
    3 Wise Men (Sharpton)
    Wizard of Oz (Mullally)
    Clinton Bush and Kerry in the 70’s (Aguilera)

    Winner: 3 Wise Men. Great concept.

    Best Weekend Update
    Christina Aguilera (2/21)
    Justin Timberlake (10/14)
    Halle Berry (10/21)

    Winner: Christina Aguilera. Will Forte’s Black History month piece puts this over the top. Simple as that.

    Worst Weekend Update
    Nick and Jessica (1-17)
    Barrymore (2/14)
    Firth (3/5)
    Trump (4/3)

    Winner: Donald Trump. How does one choose? Do we pick Maya as Omarossa? Maya as Diana Ross? I’m going to give it to the Omarossa bit, that was just plain awful (remember, I didn’t watch the show, nor did I want to, so it was largly lost on me) But it’s kind of hard when you have to choose between a bad Maya WU and a bad Maya WU

    Best Cold Open
    Hardball (Timberlake)
    Hardball (Wood)
    Denise and Sully (Affleck)

    Winner: Denise and Sully. It’s hard when half the nominees are Hardball, and everyone expected Denise and Sully to be maybe the first or second sketch, not the open. For that, I think it’s the best cold open.


    Worst Cold Open
    Arnold Schwarzenegger (any of them)
    Kobe Bryant (Berry)
    George Bush (any of them featuring Hammond as Bush)
    Howard Dean for President (Nick/Jessica)

    Winner: Arnold Schwarzenegger (any of them). Is there a winner when we have to sit through all of these? When the show starts at –2, it’s easy for it to get crappy fast. And anything with Arnold this year was just plain bad.

    Funniest Sketch
    Cheers (Jack Black)
    Justin and Kermit Sing (Timberlake)
    Celebrity Poker (Mullally)
    Brian Fellows (Sharpton)

    Winner: Justin and Kermit sing. Although I detested that episode for its overabundance of singing, this was just funny when Will calls Justin a douchebag. That makes it the funniest sketch, hands down.


    Workhorse of the Year: Tie. Amy and Maya They were both in 88 sketches by my count. We can thank Huggies Thongs for that one.

    Episode of the Year
    Mullally
    Baldwin
    Firth
    Affleck

    Winner: Megan Mullally. From the celebrity poker sketch to the wizard of oz, this episode was, IMO, solid. However, if compared to episodes of years past, well then it wouldn’t even be nominated, but for this year, it takes the win.

    Worst Episode of the Year
    Berry
    Aniston
    Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
    Andy Roddick

    Winner: Aniston. This should come as no surprise. I’ve been saying that the Aniston episode was not only the worst of the year, but also the worst of the decade. I just think it’s bad…from the paparazzi sketch to spears to Koko and Matsui, it was just bad. The only reason I liked the monologue is because one of them shot themselves at the end. It was just bad. It’s hard to get something that even rivals such a steaming pile like that show.



    Worst Sketch of the Year
    Schwarzenegger Press Conference (Timberlake)
    Amy, Maya, and Rachael talk about Justin (Timberlake)
    Starkeesha (Berry)
    Michael Jackson in a Roller Coaster (Sharpton)
    LaToya Jackson Show (Sharpton)
    Brittany’s Wedding (Anniston)
    Scott Wainio (Barrymore)
    Sleepover (Lohan)

    Winner: Tie. Amy, Maya, and Rachel talk about Justin and Scott Wainio. Scott wainio had no reason to be on the show at all. They could have added a quick minute sketch or another commercial or an interlude or something, anything. That was uncalled for. And the girls talking about Justin like they were 13 was just painful to watch, more painful than anything else I have seen this year. That was 2 and a half minutes of sheer torture. Sure there’s pain, but this is beyond that. On any given day, any of those horrible sketches could win.

    Sketch of the Year
    Good Times (Janet Jackson)
    Justin and Kermit Sing (Timberlake)
    Gigli (Affleck)
    Wizard of Oz (Mullally)

    Winner: Good times. What does it say about the season when there’s twice as many nominees for the worst sketch as there is best? It took me a while to find these too, because Good Times was clearly the winner. Nothing even came close to that.


    As always humour is subjective. what you find funny, odds are i don't but these are my thoughts. thank you for reading. have a great summer. season 30 probably early november.

  7. #197
    FORT Fogey AIWANNABE's Avatar
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    Great review and awards PSi. Last night's episode was average, I never laughed out loud during it.

  8. #198
    ~FO SCHIZZLE ALL THE WAY~ SwiffyPortillo's Avatar
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    I thought last night's episode was bad. Especially when they start out with the stupid red carpet sketch.
    "Greg talks into a coconut and thinks it's a phone,"- Colleen Haskell, 'SURVIVOR: BORNEO'.

  9. #199
    J/J for the win! DJeterFan's Avatar
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    MK and A were better actors than I expected, but that is not saying too much.

    Bad season, huh? Hope next year's improves. It won't start until what, October? Guess we have a while...

  10. #200
    PSi
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    i would assume october 2nd or 9th

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