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Thread: The Apprentice 05/12 - Won't SOMEBODY Pay Me A Compliment?

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    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    The Apprentice 05/12 - Won't SOMEBODY Pay Me A Compliment?

    Last week on The Apprentice: the competition was cut down to 2 final contestants when Craig crashed and burned during the interview process and Tana & Kendra were assigned final tasks and a staff of difficult former candidates.

    Queen For A Day
    Last week, you'll remember, Tana had complained about her staff and promptly requested a switch. The request was flatly denied and anyone with any sort of awareness of other people would have picked up that it was the wrong thing to ask. Not Tana! Not only did realize she should have kept her mouth shut, she ran to Carolyn to dish about the 3 stooges, as she calls them. Tana, she's not exactly your colleague yet.

    We pick up the action, (if you could call Tana whining about her teammates ‘action’) over at Chelsea Piers, where NetWorth is working on the NYC 2012 Athlete Challenge. Tana manages to be moderately impressed with Kristen’s idea for the brochure. After hearing only the rough idea, Tana decides that’s enough and gives Kristen her thumbs up. She’s much too busy to be bogged down with details, she has to make sure as many people know how difficult the task is and how useless her team is!

    While she does that, Chris and Brian keep busy by hanging banners representing the countries of the world. Brian, perfectionist that he is, says that it doesn’t matter if they are hung a little crooked. They need those extra few minutes to go and hang some more crooked banners. Chris, to his credit, expresses concern, but peer pressure gets the best of him and he agrees that they are fine as they are. It isn’t long before Kristen storms in, looking for a fight and points out how craptactular their contribution to the venue is. Brian takes exception to her complaint about his handiwork and Tana is brought in to intervene. Tana doesn’t act quick enough for Kristen’s liking and soon Kristen’s off and running. We don’t see Tana instructing Brian to fix the banners, but we do see Tana taking the golden opportunity to once again complain to the camera.

    You Didn’t Really Think The Sponsorship Was In Jeopardy, Did You?
    Kendra was having problems of her own last week, when Amy, the Playstation representative, had threatened pulling the company’s sponsorship of the Best Buy Video Game Championship over the state of the venue. Threatening, is a bit strong. It was more like musing over the idea, but Mark Burnett’s gotta give the people a cliffhanger. Kendra takes Playstation’s concerns very seriously and puts Michael in charge of fixing up the basement. It’s a natural choice, really, since Erin would only pink it up and God knows what Danny would do. In addition, Michael is probably strong enough to move some of those kiosks around and. In stark contrast to the Michael we’re familiar with, Kendra’s Michael is more than happy to be her knight in a shiny suit. Later, Amy from Playstation returns to check out the progress. Kendra greets her and adds that they will be running an announcement in the main ballroom during the event, letting all the gamers know where the Playstation room is located. If that isn’t enough, Kendra’s made sure that signs are clearly on display, directing people to the Playstation area. Amy is delighted and impressed with Kendra. It appears that the sponsorship is safe and sound. Those five of you out there that were concerned must be very relieved.

    Not one to rest on her laurels, (she’s more apt to gloat about it the next morning), Kendra goes to work making sure the rest of the sponsors are happy. She’s come up with the idea of a boxing ring in the venue and as they set it up, Kendra beams with pride about how well things were going and how helpful her team has been. Even George has high praise for Kendra and believes she’s been very conscientious and thorough. Hear that Craig? Sometimes it’s good to micromanage.

    Hypocrites R Us
    The next morning, Tana wakes up pumped about the big day. Her good mood lasts for about, oh, 5 minutes, as she quickly transforms into a screaming banshee. Believe it or not, that happens before she sees Chris and Brian half naked. The squeals soon turn to lectures and Tana insists that if they want to succeed, as she has, they need to learn how to adapt to their superiors. Kristen counters that sometimes superiors need to adapt to their employees. Tana has never experienced such insolence and is now on a tirade that appears unstoppable. Somehow, it fails to dawn on Tana that they are doing the exact same thing she did to Kendra when she wanted to sleep during the Pontiac challenge. Wait, that was different because Tana’s ass wasn’t on the line. Oh wait, it’s not because these guys have nothing to lose and she’s giving them no reason to want to help her. If there is a gene that provides awareness of other people, Tana is definitely missing it.

    Oh Say, Can You See… How You’re Crash and Burn-ing?
    Eventually, she rallies the troops and they head down to the event. As they undertake the final preparations, Chris points out to his beloved leader that everything’s a little chaotic and requests some direction. Tana dismisses him and complains that she can’t delegate responsibility because she’s so darn important and she can’t count on any of them. Hey, give the guy some credit for at least asking for some responsibility. Soon, Chris is the least of her concerns as Vinnie, from Governor Pataki’s office, has appeared and is demanding an itinerary from Tana. She explains the brochures have not been printed yet and as soon as they are, he’ll have one. He’s not happy with the plan, but concedes and leaves her alone. For now. It isn’t long before a staffer pulls Tana aside and lets her know something has gone horribly, horribly wrong with the brochures. It appears Kristen has taken the organizer’s notes on all the athletes and those in attendance and incorporated them, verbatim, into the brochure. This would be fine, except that the notes basically identify all the divas and problem cases. Tana, is understandably furious and makes a mad dash to stop production on them. En route, Tana finds time to complain about how incompetent her employees are. I’m sorry, if they’re so incompetent, why wouldn’t you proofread? It isn’t long before Vinnie, the world’s most persistent executive assistant, finds Tana and lets him know the Governor has arrived and he’s waiting. Tana shrugs and says she doesn’t know what he’d like from her. She actually suggests milk & cookies. I guess that works on her kids’ friends, but this is the Governor of New York. Vinnie is not impressed and reiterates that he’s waiting. Tana said that it’s okay. Vinnie told her it was not, in fact, okay. Something tells me these two aren’t going to be exchanging Christmas Cards anytime soon.

    Things soon go from bad to worse for Tana when the Governor, who has finally made his way inside the building, asks to carry the American flag as part of the processional. Trouble is, there is no American flag. Just a small oversight, right? It ends up getting back to Trump, thanks to Governor Pataki himself, which doesn’t go over well. You know you’re in trouble when politicians are ratting you out. Later on, some of the athletes approach Chris to inform him they need some time to warm up. In an effort to accommodate them, Chris makes arrangements to clear the track. Discovering what is going on, Tana jumps the gun and demands to know what’s going on. Without waiting for a response, Tana assumes Chris is responsible and throws around a few disparaging comments about him. Carolyn, standing only a few feet away, is visibly shocked at what she’s seeing from Tana; and this is a woman that’s seen a lot of morons. Tana is corrected by the organizer and explains that Chris was only trying to help and made a good decision.

    What Event Are YOU At?
    As the NYC 2012 Athlete’s Challenge winds down, the organizers admit they are disappointed and many believe the event didn’t go off as well as they had hoped. Despite the reservations and snafu’s, Tana wastes no time heaping praise on herself. It occurs to me that during this whole process, I don’t recall Tana doing much work. I suppose coming up with new, creative ways of explaining how much your teammates suck and how much responsibility you have could be considered work, but I was thinking in terms of pulling off the event. In any case, she continues to be very, very proud of herself and tells Bruce Jenner that he’s looking at the next Apprentice. Bruce looks like he’s looking at a bonafide nutjob. It’s okay though, we know Tana has problems with picking up on that sort of thing.

    Easy As Pie
    Over at the Best Buy Video Game Challenge, Kendra is having considerably less trouble pulling off the event. She circulates like the social butterfly that Tana thinks she is and manages to do her best to keep everyone happy, including MC, Rap Artist, Fabulous. Kendra has high praise for her teammates, even though we’re only given glimpses of them. Of course, maybe she’s glad because she’s asked them to do very little and they are more than happy to do it. Throughout the event, she’s overly self-conscious and even tries to catch a glimpse of Carolyn’s reaction to everything. Good luck trying to read ice queen’s mind. Perhaps you’d have been luck if you started badmouthing your teammates.

    As the Video Challenge wraps up, Kendra and her team share a genuine and heartfelt goodbye. Danny, Erin and Michael are all very supportive of Kendra and Kendra is overwhelmed with how hard they worked for her. Of course, Kendra’s had several weeks with Craig fighting her tooth and nail, so it’s entirely possible she’s mistaken laziness and complacency with hard work. In her cab back to the suite, Kendra breaks down more than any candidate we’ve seen after they’ve been fired… with the notable exception of Chris, of course. Kendra says she’s very happy with how the event went and thinks her team worked harder for her on this last task than for themselves before they were fired.

    Delusions of Grandeur, Anyone
    Tana’s goodbye to her team isn’t nearly as heartfelt. She gives the fakest thank you she could muster and wishes them good luck. While she watches them leave, Tana says she firmly believes it’s very important that she, as the boss, wait until they leave before she can depart. She explains that this is to reinforce that she’s the one with the power and they are the underlings. Despite the obnoxious comment, I’m confused about this practice. If the task is complete, the ‘employees’ don’t really work for her any longer. What is the point of hiding until they are gone? In any case, Tana believes her own press and like any good boss would, runs out of the venue with her pretzels, careful not to be detected by her staff.

    Like Kendra, Tana also feels very confident on how she did and once again gives a confessional about how awesome she was and how horrible her teammates were. I get the impression that Tana completely missed the point of being assigned these problem children to her team. When Kendra returns, Tana gives her a hug and asks how it went. When Kendra says she was just crying in the cab, Tana’s face lights up… until she learns it’s because Kendra’s task went so well. As she has all day, Tana complains about her horrible her team was, but stops dead in her tracks when Kendra says that she had the opposite experience. Tana gives one of her patented fake smiles and says she’s happy for Kendra and leaves the bathroom, mid conversation. In any case, Tana’s spirits are not dampened.

    Oh, There A Reason For The Difficult Staff?
    As Kendra and Tana head down to the boardroom, both are as confident as ever. Kendra believes she’s the total package. I, for one, am shocked. After all, she’s said this every single week since the beginning, I was hoping she’d be creative enough to say something different this time. Tana does come up with something more creative and compares herself to a shark in a goldfish costume. Either that’s a big goldfish costume or one very small shark.

    Trump begins by pointing out that the final two consists of one ‘Book Smarts’ and one ‘Street Smarts’. Yes, you’ve said that before. Wouldn’t want anyone to think the entire season was a joke, now, would we? Tana begins to talk about how well she did on her task and says she did so with a team that was difficult to manage. Carolyn points out that part of her managing technique was to constantly criticize them and call them names, like The Three Stooges. Tana looks as betrayed as if her best girlfriend spilled all her secrets, rather than a woman that realized she shouldn’t have ran her mouth around one of Trump’s closest associates. Why this surprises me, I’m not sure. The screw up with the brochures is addressed, but as expected, Tana blames that one on Kristen. Kendra’s face lights up like a little girl on Christmas morning upon learning about the brochure filled with notes that we supposed to be kept private. When it’s brought up that something so important to the event should have at least been proofread by Tana, she glosses over that detail than owning up to it. The missing American flag was also brought up, and again, Tana mentions that she assumed it would be with the other world flags. Oh Tana, wasn’t it a few short weeks ago that you also made some assumptions in the boardroom?

    In an effort to make the playing field seem more level, Kendra comes under fire for going MIA when Danny met with the sponsor representatives. Like Tana, Kendra also tries to brush it off and plead ignorance, but Carolyn, Trump and George aren’t so inclined to let her off easily. No other incident is mentioned and I’m inclined to believe that Danny serenading the representatives was the only major snafu. Mind you, Danny’s song was horrible and I’m sure those affected will be repressing that memory for years, but it was pretty clear Kendra had handled the situation in record time. Since there is still another week left in this show, they’ve gotta manufacture the drama somehow.

    You Are So Busted!
    Kendra and Tana are sent outside and while they wait, the elevator doors open. Out walks Erin, Michael and Danny from Magna and Chris, Brian and Kristen and they head straight past the final two candidates and right into the boardroom.

    Tana is so screwed.

    Next week – The world’s longest finale concludes and The Apprentice is finally revealed. Barring a miracle, it won’t be Tana!
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  2. #2
    singing w/ Clay
    Thank you Miss Filangi,
    Always a pleasure to read your recaps!

  3. #3
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Apr 2003
    Won't SOMEBODY Pay Me A Compliment?
    Why yes, yes I will. Brilliant recap, Miss F! You always do such a great job.

  4. #4
    Bitten Critical's Avatar
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    Oct 2004
    Fangtasia - The Bar With Bite
    Great job Miss F! Another great recap!
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

  5. #5
    I see dead people SQUATMAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    stuck on an island with creepy ferret faced Ben
    In honor of Kendra....that recap was a TKO !

    Thanks to your great recap, I now know I wasn't imagining things.
    All that really happened.

  6. #6
    great re-cap miss F.....Before I read this I only though that this episode showed Tana as superfical and incompetent.....now I know I am not alone.....

    Great insight into a show that was way too long ......Donnie Hire someone already....

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey CupidGuest's Avatar
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    Aug 2003
    Thank you for the wonderful insights and hilarious jokes! You said so much of what I was thinking and feeling about the show.

    PS I love the subtitles ESPECIALLY "Oh Say Can You See? How You're Crash and Burning?"

  8. #8
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Feb 2003
    salt lake city ut
    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Filangi
    You know you’re in trouble when politicians are ratting you out.

    Kendra and Tana are sent outside and while they wait, the elevator doors open. Out walks Erin, Michael and Danny from Magna and Chris, Brian and Kristen and they head straight past the final two candidates and right into the boardroom.

    Tana is so screwed.
    Ain't that the truth. I am going to watch Thursday just to see the look on Tana's face when she doesn't win.

  9. #9
    Gator Chompin' Ancient City's Avatar
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    Down where the old Gators play. . .

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey JamiLee's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    [QUOTE=Miss Filangi][I]Tana has never experienced such insolence and is now on a tirade that appears unstoppable. Somehow, it fails to dawn on Tana that they are doing the exact same thing she did to Kendra when she wanted to sleep during the Pontiac challenge. Wait, that was different because Tana’s ass wasn’t on the line. Oh wait, it’s not because these guys have nothing to lose and she’s giving them no reason to want to help her. If there is a gene that provides awareness of other people, Tana is definitely missing it. [QUOTE]

    Excellent recap Miss F.!! Boy do I feel like a fool for rooting for Tana......I don't know if she was this way all along or, it was editing. I'm taping it just to see the look on her face when she loses......I wish I were more happy for Kendra but, her whiny comments and flailing hands and I don't know. Maybe I'll be happy for her in the end.
    The Pats will be back next year. Watch out.....

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