+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 23

Thread: Episode 1 Recap: Nice Suits Finish Last

  1. #11
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    28
    Posts
    8,504
    Awesome, awesome job, Hep! I'm elated that I'll be able to enjoy not only this hilarious show, but your smashing recaps as well! Brilliant writing as always . . . you rock!

    Some of my favorite moments:

    Quote Originally Posted by Heppy-San
    I hear Chicago is a cool place. After all, itĎs home to cutthroat billionaires, elevated trains, and on occasion, reality TV website conventions. Plus, every March they dump green dye into their river. And didnít Harrison Ford run around in the streets looking for a one-armed man? Chicago: a city so cool they put pickles and tomatoes on their hot dogs. Iím convinced.

    What with Trump, Cuban and Branson also playing reality TV mentor, Iím starting to think billionaires are all fluffy pink teddy bears with hearts as big as all get-out under their vampiric, money grubbing exteriors.

    Their tortuous journey begins with them being driven aimlessly around Chicago while they stew in each otherís presence, undoubtedly forbidden by producers to speak to one another. Since they canít see out, they arenít even aware of how pointless the journey is. Itís a beautiful day for mind games.

    I feel compelled to point out that anyone who has witnessed the drunken hazings of Greek Week would not be so quick to label college students as ďsmart.Ē

    Shiny-headed Douglas, we learn, is a star analyst for an investment bank. Kerry is a top executive at a major media corporation, and has the pouty collagened lips to prove it. Damian, the clean-cut blonde with the firm jaw, was valedictorian of his business school. What glowing Christmas letters their mamas must send out every November 15th.

    The others are eye candy, weíre told. Thatís it. I donít know why they only introduced three of them, but thatís what they did. So, letís move along, nothing to see here. *swinging nightstick*

    We already know he lies for a living, so if it turns out to be Gary Coleman or Lassie some equally lame boss, donít send me the hate mail, please.

    Still lined up and standing at attention, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in the competitorsí hopeful eyes.

    We watch the chef create another culinary delight as a hunk of Spam is converted into appetizing little meatballs. Itís all in the presentation, folks.

    The women proclaim the men to be Team
    . . .Concad. Hey, what happened to My Bitches? ďConĒ is because men are big oleí meanie liars, and ďcadĒ refers to un-gentlemenlike behavior. *crickets chirping* Great job, women. And by great, I mean excessively lame.

    Michael was this weekís Team Boss, which I failed to mention earlier since he was never shown leading his team in any capacity. However, now it is up to Michael to make the Jellicle Choice (with apologies for the Cats reference).

    Donít hate me because Iím self-employed. hepcat@fansofrealitytv.com

  2. #12
    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    The Miami of Canada
    Age
    42
    Posts
    3,254
    Oooohhhh......I can't wait to watch this! Sorry, I haven't read the recap yet, Hep! I have the show TiVo'd, and I don't want to ruin anything.
    "You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni

    It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.

  3. #13
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1

    Penthouse Info

    This is the real estate transaction info. for the penthouse where the contestants were housed.

    400 W Ontario St 1801, Near North Side, 60610
    $3,725,000 01/29/2002, to Glenn Kofman, from Fourzerozero West Ontario

  4. #14
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    918
    I'm bummed I actually missed the first episode , but I'm glad you wrote such a great recap, hep!

  5. #15
    Combat Missions Fan Wolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Texas, of course!
    Posts
    7,916
    I totally forgot about this show, but thanks to your funny and detailed recap, Hep, I'll be set for the next episode. Great job!

  6. #16
    Kao
    Kao is offline
    Donyale y Dali: OTP Kao's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,375
    Ah, they put them up in the Gold Coast! Yummy...

  7. #17
    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    The Miami of Canada
    Age
    42
    Posts
    3,254
    Great recap, Hep! You captured the humor AND the naivete of the contestants all in one fell swoop.
    "You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni

    It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.

  8. #18
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    in the middle of the Monsoons
    Posts
    11,829
    Heppy -- great job, M'Love. I ALSO missed the show (DANGIT) but will definitely watch it next time.

  9. #19
    skeptic rdpch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    602
    Itís a life lesson, my friends. Submit those reality TV applications to a network other than FOX.
    Wouldn't you think by now there would be no one left for FOX to fool?
    Thanks for the entertaining recap--maybe now I'll actually watch the show next week.
    Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

  10. #20
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    New England
    Age
    41
    Posts
    6,952
    The BFOB promises us the identity of the top secret boss will be the most astonishing revelation in all of reality TV history. We already know he lies for a living, so if it turns out to be Gary Coleman or Lassie some equally lame boss, donít send me the hate mail, please.
    Dear Hepcat, why was there some lame ass....

    Great recap Hep! It was Hep-a-licous!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.