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Thread: WORST TV Theme Songs/Music!

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    Fool... but no pity. Krom's Avatar
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    WORST TV Theme Songs/Music!

    Thought this would be a nice pair with the "best" topic.

    A couple of stinkers I recall:

    --The theme from "Small Wonder" (the asinine show about a girl robot and her family). Fully as bad as the series which it represents.
    --The theme song from "Growing Pains". Its just sickeningly sweet. "Show me that smile again"? Well, if you do I'll plant a fist in it! :nono
    --Theme from "Charles In Charge" (a show almost as bad as "Small Wonder"). Especially the version they played when they syndicated it.

    Honorable "stinker" mentions for two current shows--"America's Next Top Model" and "American Idol". The theme to the first is totally ludicrous, and somewhat suggestive as well (but not in a good way). There's even a new "snappier" version since the show moved to the CW where we actually SEE Tyra Banks mouth the inquiry whether you "wanna be on top"? Its really more silly than bad though.

    Compare this to the AI theme. Listening to the American Idol theme is like being trapped inside a cheesy discotheque in Berlin for two or three minutes or so where they thump thump thump and ahhh ahhh ahhh the same few notes over and over again.

    "You don't rehearse Mr. T, you just turn him loose."
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    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    I like the Growing Pains song! Except when I get to the part where it goes "the best is ready to begiiiin!" the next line is "believe it or not, I'm walking on air!". It gets all mangled in my head.

    My votes for the worst are the Big Brother theme music, Full House, and I'll second Charles in Charge.

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    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2176566;
    I like the Growing Pains song! Except when I get to the part where it goes "the best is ready to begiiiin!" the next line is "believe it or not, I'm walking on air!". It gets all mangled in my head.
    Isn't that line part of "The Greatest American Hero"??? "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air... I never thought I could feel so free eeee eeee"

    Yeah, now everyone can have that darned song stuck in their heads, too. Thanksssss, brat.


    Krom, I don't even remember the theme from "Small Wonder." Sing us a few bars??
    Never let the things you want make you forget about the things you have.

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    Fool... but no pity. Krom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broadway;2176669;
    Krom, I don't even remember the theme from "Small Wonder." Sing us a few bars??
    http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionC...emeLyrics.html
    One of the most derided aspects of Small Wonder was its Tra-la-la theme song, especially season one's, which most all fans felt was too cloying, "sissy," puerile and "dopesy-dainty." Giving the executive producer his due, I will say Leeds was no songwriter! Still, it was assumed at the pilot that only kids would be watching. There was a chance for an overhaul for season two when the production realized we had a far greater and older audience than anticipated and a nice jazzier new song was contracted for (which I heard hummed rather than sung, but it had a nice beat). But the acquisition of Metromedia by Fox Broadcasting scrambled these plans in the massive company restructuring and the project was lost in the shuffle. The episode "caught in the middle" of this was "Digital Love," which was to have introduced the new score and lyrics to replace the now exhausted first-run composers' contract. Suddenly, without any background for the teasers, the production had to hastily assemble an ad-hoc score "borrowing" the old lyrics. It was badly implemented on this episode before being "refined" later. "Small Wonder"
    Written by Howard Leeds & Ron Alexander
    Sung by Diane Leslie

    She's a small wonder, pretty and bright with soft curls.
    She's a small wonder, a girl unlike other girls.
    She's a miracle, and I grant you
    She'll enchant you with her sight
    She's a small wonder, and she'll make your heart beat twice.*
    She's fantastic, made of plastic,
    Microchips here and there.
    She's a small wonder, brings love and laughter everywhere.

    *Later changed to "make your heart take flight." (after "Smoker's Delight" for seasons three and four)

    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2176566;
    the Big Brother theme music
    Which version (both are kind of crappy, but the original version is worse IMO)? Its a case of bad piano tinkly music, versus bad electronica, basically.
    Last edited by totoro; 12-14-2006 at 12:17 PM.

    "You don't rehearse Mr. T, you just turn him loose."
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    FORT Fogey BoBoFan's Avatar
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    The Theme from "The OC" gets my vote!
    That along with "Desperate House-Ho's" *puke*

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    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krom;2176679;
    Which version (both are kind of crappy, but the original version is worse IMO)? Its a case of bad piano tinkly music, versus bad electronica, basically.
    I thought they were the same tune! The bad electronica is probably the worst for me. I got the superpass trial thing last season so it will be forever etched in my nightmare memories.

    Quote Originally Posted by Broadway;2176669;
    Isn't that line part of "The Greatest American Hero"??? "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air... I never thought I could feel so free eeee eeee"
    Yes! It is! Isn't that weird?? I'll start singing the Growing Pains song in my head and it goes... "Show me that smile again (female voice - show me that smile!) Don't waste another minute on your crying. We're no where near the end (female voice - no where near). The best is ready to begin!! Believe it or not I'm walking on air..." And then comes the rest of The Greatest American Hero song.

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    Hypermediocrity Amanda's Avatar
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    Okay, wait. I do that same thing. So, either we're both out of our gourds with crazy, or...was there maybe a commercial of t.v. theme songs, a compilation of some sort, that had those two songs back to back? Because that's the only way it makes sense for both of us to have that same issue.

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    FORT Regular Sweetman13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2176566;
    I like the Growing Pains song! Except when I get to the part where it goes "the best is ready to begiiiin!" the next line is "believe it or not, I'm walking on air!". It gets all mangled in my head.

    My votes for the worst are the Big Brother theme music, Full House, and I'll second Charles in Charge.
    I love the Full House Theme song!! Although it is way too catchy. It gets stuck in my head all day to the point of insanity.
    You've heard of theater in the round? Well, you're looking at the man who invented theater in the square! Nobody had a good seat!"

    -The Producers

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    Techsan by the grace of G texasgirl73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2176566;
    My votes for the worst are the Big Brother theme music, Full House, and I'll second Charles in Charge.
    Yes, definitely the Big Brother music...which evokes images of endless flames, courtesy of watching too many hours of live feeds last summer! Thanks for reminding me LOL

    I don't really dig the Grey's Anatomy theme music, especially when they had the extended opening scenes with the writhing bodies on a gurney or something wacked out like that!
    *Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes*

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    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    I find the British shows I watch have what sound like oddly inappropriate theme songs for the show. Like the theme song for The Office that starts, "So what will become of you my love," or something like that. Huh? Or the theme for Coupling. Inappropriate in the sense that they seem really sappy or sweet, unlike American TV show themes which are usually overdramatic or super-peppy. Does that make sense?

    Also, Peace, Love, the Gap. I know it's not for a TV show but GET OUT OF MY HEAD. All I need to do is read that phrase and my inner radio is tuned in for the rest of the day.

    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

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