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Thread: New Year's Resolutions for the Music Industry

  1. #1
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    dallas, fer sure

    New Year's Resolutions for the Music Industry

    Entertainment Weekly suggests New Year's resolutions for the music biz. With 2003 upon us, we consider a variety of ways to shake, rattle, and roll an ailing, ego-driven music world:


    -- Whitney ''Crack Is Wack'' Houston should worry less about the quality of her drugs and more about the quality of her music.

    -- Sweden, land of media-hogging bands such as the Soundtrack of Our Lives and the Hives, should stop dominating the alt-rock buzz bin. Finland is getting jealous.

    -- The programming-challenged VH1 should make more wise decisions like canceling ''Liza & David'' before it even aired.

    -- 2Pac, wherever he is, should stop releasing albums. You're freaking us out, man.

    -- Some enterprising TV network should do us all a favor and give Kid Rock a talk show.

    -- The Band-Aid company should get Nelly on board as a company spokesman.

    -- MTV's ''The Real World'' producers should cast one ugly roommate. And if they're really ready to abandon the formula, maybe a smart one, too.

    --The industry should implement a per-minute fine for every CD that exceeds 70 minutes, thus sparing us more padded double discs.

    -- Label execs should give Afro-bohemia (think India.Arie, Cody ChesnuTT, Beyoncé's brief pseudo-'70s frizz) the nurturing it deserves. Isn't it about time for a new urban trend?

    -- Somebody should get Damon Albarn's Gorillaz their own TV show. There hasn't been a funkier, quirkier animated band since the Jackson 5 turned 'toon.

    -- Bizzers should learn the difference between ''punk'' and punks who act like they know what the term means (think Avril Lavigne, Sum 41, Good Charlotte, etc.).

    -- Labels should continue marking down CD prices.

    -- Alan ''I Don't Know the Difference Between Iraq and Iran'' Jackson should bone up on his geography.

    -- Ryan Adams should write 12 first-rate songs instead of 125 mediocre ones.

    -- Christina Aguilera should wear pants once in a while.

  2. #2

    OMG- someone enforce these, quick!

  3. #3
    it's sad the shape that the music has gone. not like the 80s and early 90s. they had some great tunes then. they still get a gem or two. but most of it is garbage and I don't mean the band.

  4. #4
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    I agree, someone make these law quick
    "That's Numberwang!"

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