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Thread: New Year's Resolutions for the Music Industry

  1. #1
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    New Year's Resolutions for the Music Industry

    Entertainment Weekly suggests New Year's resolutions for the music biz. With 2003 upon us, we consider a variety of ways to shake, rattle, and roll an ailing, ego-driven music world:

    (*http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,399454~4~0~,00.html)

    -- Whitney ''Crack Is Wack'' Houston should worry less about the quality of her drugs and more about the quality of her music.

    -- Sweden, land of media-hogging bands such as the Soundtrack of Our Lives and the Hives, should stop dominating the alt-rock buzz bin. Finland is getting jealous.

    -- The programming-challenged VH1 should make more wise decisions like canceling ''Liza & David'' before it even aired.

    -- 2Pac, wherever he is, should stop releasing albums. You're freaking us out, man.

    -- Some enterprising TV network should do us all a favor and give Kid Rock a talk show.

    -- The Band-Aid company should get Nelly on board as a company spokesman.

    -- MTV's ''The Real World'' producers should cast one ugly roommate. And if they're really ready to abandon the formula, maybe a smart one, too.

    --The industry should implement a per-minute fine for every CD that exceeds 70 minutes, thus sparing us more padded double discs.

    -- Label execs should give Afro-bohemia (think India.Arie, Cody ChesnuTT, Beyoncé's brief pseudo-'70s frizz) the nurturing it deserves. Isn't it about time for a new urban trend?

    -- Somebody should get Damon Albarn's Gorillaz their own TV show. There hasn't been a funkier, quirkier animated band since the Jackson 5 turned 'toon.

    -- Bizzers should learn the difference between ''punk'' and punks who act like they know what the term means (think Avril Lavigne, Sum 41, Good Charlotte, etc.).

    -- Labels should continue marking down CD prices.

    -- Alan ''I Don't Know the Difference Between Iraq and Iran'' Jackson should bone up on his geography.

    -- Ryan Adams should write 12 first-rate songs instead of 125 mediocre ones.

    -- Christina Aguilera should wear pants once in a while.

  2. #2
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    OMG- someone enforce these, quick!

  3. #3
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    it's sad the shape that the music has gone. not like the 80s and early 90s. they had some great tunes then. they still get a gem or two. but most of it is garbage and I don't mean the band.

  4. #4
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    I agree, someone make these law quick
    "That's Numberwang!"

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