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A spin-off of the Amazing Lyrics thread, we dedicate to the people who dare to write differently - in a funny and weird kinda way.
I have a few:
1. Shakira - Whenever Wherever
...Lucky my breasts are so small and humble, so you don't confuse them, with mountains...
2. Maria Mena - You're The Only One
...I hope you can forgive me for that time I put my hands between your legs and say it's small, cause it's not at all.
I think Steve Miller writes some of the funniest and most forced stretches in order to get a rhyme.
From "Take the Money & Run"
Headed down to old El Paso
That's where they ran into a great big hasso (hassle)
Bobby shot a man while robbin' his casso (castle)
Big Jim is a detective down in Texas
He says he knows exactly what the faxis (facts is)
He aint gonna let them two escape justice
He makes his livin' off of the people's tax-es
Missy Elliot - Work It (self-explanatory)
I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya
Put the p**** on ya like I told ya
Gimme all your numbers so I could phone ya
Your girl actin' stank then call me over
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or won't ya
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips, don't ya
See my a** and my lips, don't ya
Lost a few pounds and my waist for ya
This the kinda beat that go ra-ta-ta
Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta
Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah
Work it, I need a glass of water
Boy, oh, boy, it's good to know ya
No comment
Limp Bizkit - Hot Dog (censored in most part
Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a *F'ed* world
We're a *F'ed* up place
Everybody's judged by their *F'ed* up face
*F'ed* up dreams
*F'ed* up life
A*F'ed* up kid
With a*F'ed* up knife
*F'ed* up moms
And *F'ed* dads
It's a *F'ed* up a cop
With a *F'ed* up badge
*F'ed* up job
With *F'ed* up pay
And a *F'ed* up boss
Is a *F'ed* up pain
*F'ed* up press
And *F'ed*up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires
Weird ... more disturbing
Just a couple for now ... many more really!
"I'm in Love With My Car" by Queen
(FYI - in case anyone is interested, this is also the song that is used in the recent "Hummer" commercials on TV and Radio. Its not easily recognizable as a Queen song of course because its one of the rare songs sung by drummer Roger Taylor instead of Freddie Mercury).
Ah, ah ah ah ahhhhh
The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin'
And the hub caps all gleam
When I'm holdin' your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hand's on your grease gun
Oh it's like a disease son
I'm in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal
Told my girl I'll have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks sayin'
This is the end now
Cars don't talk back
They're just four wheeled friends now
When I'm holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When I'm cruisin' in overdrive
Don't have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive
I'm in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
I'm in love with my car
String back gloves in my automolove
Tori Amos - exerpt from "Muhammad My Friend"
....and Gladys save a place for me on your grapevine
till I get my own tv show
ashree, ashree, ashree, ashree
and if I lose my cracker jacks at the tidal wave
I've got a place in the pope's rubber robe
I said Muhammad My Friend
We Both Know It Was A Girl
Back In Bethlehem....
Quite quirky...but really a great, great song.
I'm currently listening to this song, funny/weird lyrics definitely. True? well to each his/her own
--------
Can't Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera Featuring Lil'kim
--------
Can't Hold Us Down
(So) What am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
When a female fires back
Suddenly big talker don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout Out Loud!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will
So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended with the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls?
Shout Out Loud!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
[Lil' Kim:]
Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head,or sex so raw,
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turn
I'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's aiight though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on movin'
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera thats that
You're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for smaller things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for smaller things
This is for my girls...
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout Out Loud!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout Out Loud!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Oh Oh (X-tina)
Yeah we here (Lil'Kim)
Where back again (Lil'Kim)
Lil'Kim X-tina Aguilera (Lil'Kim)
Spread the word, (Lil'Kim)
Can't hold us down! (X-tina)
Originally Posted by royalcloudjumpe
Tori Amos - exerpt from "Muhammad My Friend"
....and Gladys save a place for me on your grapevine
till I get my own tv show
ashree, ashree, ashree, ashree
and if I lose my cracker jacks at the tidal wave
I've got a place in the pope's rubber robe
I said Muhammad My Friend
We Both Know It Was A Girl
Back In Bethlehem....
Quite quirky...but really a great, great song.
YES! Royal Cloud, I think I wubs you!
How about from Tori...
God - 'God,sometimes you just don't come through,do you need a woman to look after you?'
Talula - 'I got my rape hat on,honey,but I always could accessorize'
Precious Things - 'I wanna smash the faces,of those beautiful boys,those Christian boys,so you can make me c**,that doesn't make you Jesus'
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