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Thread: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

  1. #721
    FORT Fogey MamaAmyG's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    While I agree with many, if not all, of the points about Farrah, I do think that she has made a tiny bit of progress in that she is not too proud to realize that accepting her mother's offer of the rental house is a good financial decision for her. And while her communication skills are still on the immature side, the letter to her mother as a lessee was not a bad idea either. Farrah also recognized the need to have her mother present at another counseling session before she could move in to the rental house. She still has a TON of growing up to do, and at times I would like to slap that sense of entitlement out of her myself, but those actions do give me some hope for her. Certainly more than I have for Amber.

    Farrah's mom has improved, but she still contributes to the problem. She just has to get that little dig in, twist the knife. "Let's see what your mommy wrote and tried to blame on you!" I mean really Debra, some things don't really need to be said.

    Of course, all of the above points speak to Farrah maturing into an adult. I don't see the same progress in Farrah as a mother. It still comes across as Sophia is an inconvenience to her. Hence leaving her in a hallway while Farrah goes and takes care of her own business. I'm okay with leaving a child to play while getting stuff done, but it should be a safe place with a means of the child entertaining themselves. A one-year-old on a bed? Not safe. That sort of thing.

    Amber Amber Amber.... my heart breaks for Leah, but child protective services won't take her away for the issues we've been seen. Leah's best bet would be for Gary to grow a backbone and fight for physical custody, but as the father, he's at a significant disadvantage. Possibly his best leverage in court would be the footage from this show!

    But seriously - if your kid wakes up at 6, get your butt out of bed and modify your plans for the day. Yes she's going to be cranky - get over it. You're the parent. Brew yourself some coffee and get over yourself. My toddlers get up at 6:30 7 days a week, whether I wake them or not - I don't really want to hear you whine about one stinking day. LOL
    _(Moo!)

  2. #722
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaAmyG;4062348;
    Amber Amber Amber.... my heart breaks for Leah, but child protective services won't take her away for the issues we've been seen. Leah's best bet would be for Gary to grow a backbone and fight for physical custody, but as the father, he's at a significant disadvantage. Possibly his best leverage in court would be the footage from this show!

    But seriously - if your kid wakes up at 6, get your butt out of bed and modify your plans for the day. Yes she's going to be cranky - get over it. You're the parent. Brew yourself some coffee and get over yourself. My toddlers get up at 6:30 7 days a week, whether I wake them or not - I don't really want to hear you whine about one stinking day. LOL
    I cant believe people side with Gary in this relationship. The guy is a complete loser. This isnt saying that Amber is a prize but here is a guy who I think is in his 20s and acts like a little man child. Up until this weeks episode, whenever things didnt go his way, he was the one who left or threw some kind of hissy fit. How bout when shes trying to go out with her friends, he throws a little bitch fit and tries to ruin her night? Not to mention up until now he has had no job and pretty much sits around the apartment and apparently eats himself into morbid obesity. When he woke Leah up, I looked at that as his way of being passive aggressive about having to be the one going to work while Amber got to stay home. Gary is just a giant obese baby.

    Still, Amber is a head case and a terrible mother. Neither one of them have any right to be raising a child. Leah is the one child when I watch this show that my girlfriend and I really feel bad for. All she has are these two immature losers. At least Sophia has grandma and grandpa to make up when Farrah screws up.

  3. #723
    FORT Fogey buttahfly's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    i am in no way a fan of amber or her parenting skills, but it was pretty inconsiderate of gary to wake leah up. amber's reaction was over the top and ridiculous, but he was def inconsiderate.

    gary is a dufus, plain and simple. it was never more clear to me than last week when he was listening to his equally dumb friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaAmyG;4062348;
    But seriously - if your kid wakes up at 6, get your butt out of bed and modify your plans for the day. Yes she's going to be cranky - get over it. You're the parent. Brew yourself some coffee and get over yourself. My toddlers get up at 6:30 7 days a week, whether I wake them or not - I don't really want to hear you whine about one stinking day. LOL

  4. #724
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    There's plenty of blame to go around with Gary and Amber. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any regard for Gary either. He's just the lesser of two evils. At least I think he does have some sense about him and that he is capable of changing and growing with education and experience. I don't see that potential with Amber. I think she is a mean person and that she will become more cruel to Leah the older she gets. Soon, Amber and Leah will be fighting, because Amber loves to fight. She is grooming Leah for it now. Do you remember upthread where I posted about the articles on the Teen Moms. The did an update on Amber and she said she wanted to become a martial arts fighter! The girl is very aggressive. I would be frightened of her.


    I don't think it is any worse for Gary to stay home and care for Leah than it is for Amber to do it. Neither seem to have a propensity to work a job.

  5. #725
    FORT Fogey MamaAmyG's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Hey, don't get me wrong, in no way do I think Gary is a saint or do I intend to defend him for being totally lazy. I just feel like he comes across as the lesser of two evils. And I too would be pissed at him for waking up Leah, but it's not worth the sort of tantrum Amber threw over it. My main preference for him to have physical custody over Amber, assuming that they are split up, is that his mother is still involved in his life and could provide some additional mature support. Also, Amber has shown that her anger towards people she loves can be physically volatile. Though she has never lashed out at Leah on camera, she has at Gary. So, my opinion is less a defense of Gary than it is a decision against Amber. Hope that is more clear!
    _(Moo!)

  6. #726
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Whereever you put the blame, they are in an abusive relationship. Here's a link for a Domestic Abuse Quiz. If you answer yes to even one question, it is likely you are in one. I have seen Amber be physically violent with Gary. It's just the tip of the iceberg with her. I hope nothing really bad happens. Those situations don't get better by themself. They just escalate. And poor Leah is there watching it all.

    Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Quiz: Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

  7. #727
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    [QUOTE=MamaAmyG;4062348;]While I agree with many, if not all, of the points about Farrah, I do think that she has made a tiny bit of progress in that she is not too proud to realize that accepting her mother's offer of the rental house is a good financial decision for her. And while her communication skills are still on the immature side, the letter to her mother as a lessee was not a bad idea either. Farrah also recognized the need to have her mother present at another counseling session before she could move in to the rental house. She still has a TON of growing up to do, and at times I would like to slap that sense of entitlement out of her myself, but those actions do give me some hope for her. Certainly more than I have for Amber.

    Farrah's mom has improved, but she still contributes to the problem. She just has to get that little dig in, twist the knife. "Let's see what your mommy wrote and tried to blame on you!" I mean really Debra, some things don't really need to be said.

    Of course, all of the above points speak to Farrah maturing into an adult. I don't see the same progress in Farrah as a mother. It still comes across as Sophia is an inconvenience to her. Hence leaving her in a hallway while Farrah goes and takes care of her own business. I'm okay with leaving a child to play while getting stuff done, but it should be a safe place with a means of the child entertaining themselves. A one-year-old on a bed? Not safe. That sort of thing.


    I'm not entirely sure that Farrah is improving so much as she's being forced to take her mother's offer of the guest house, because she screwed up the internet sale of her car so badly that she's now in debt. I believe her bank told her she had a negative balance of something like $2,000. If she doesn't cut her expenses severely, she's never going to make it, and her mother isn't charging her as much rent as she was paying for her apartment--and it's an entire house (albeit a guest house) as opposed to an apartment. And her mother has offered babysitting etc. as an inducement.

    I think Farrah and her mother both need to continue counseling, together and apart. I really like Farrah's counselor as she didn't take crap from either one of them. But they definitely need to continue with a mediator for some time if they're going to come to terms friendly enough to be helpful for Sophia.

    I'm not sure if Farrah's lease agreement statement to her mother was such a good idea in the way it was presented. It would have been better, perhaps, to sit down with that counselor (or someone who could be calm and fair) and work out an agreement. They could have started with whatever lease agreement is normally used when that house is rented and work from there. Farrah's attitude toward her mother still is so much the spoiled brat that it makes it difficult to see any of her actions toward her as very mature. Likewise, her mother needs to learn a better way to communicate with Farrah than by subtly undercutting her. For instance, I thought it was a little ridiculous that she was explaining to her not to put a fork in the disposal. Would she have done that with any other tenant? On the other hand, considering the difficulty Farrah has in remembering how to write out a check, perhaps her mother has reason to worry about her handling of ordinary tasks.

    This really doesn't have all that much to do with the above, but I also wish Farrah's mom would stop with the ridiculous baby talk with Sophia. A little of that goes a long way, and you can use a happy upbeat tone with a child without adding in the silly lisping and goofy talk. Just tell her "Look at the clock, Sophia--can you hear it? Does it say tick-tock?" Instead of going on about Baby Goo seeing ticky-ticky-ticky. Considering no one else speaks to her that way, Sophia's likely going to think that Grandma is whacky-whacky-whacky.

  8. #728
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    What blows my mind, is Catelynne, April is soooooo much like Amber, yet Catelynne had the sense to STOP the cycle and give her baby away before she would let her live in that trainwreck of a home.[/QUOTE]


    I think it's fairly amazing that Catelynn has survived her mother and Tyler has survived her father, and they've both survived a relationship between her dysfunctional mother and his dysfunctional father basically intact. They have every reason in the world to be truly messed up teenagers, and they're not. They both have their moments from time to time, but nothing near what you'd expect, considering. The two of them are remarkably mature for their ages and their environments. I hope that when Carly grows up, she understands just how lucky she was in both her sets of parents. She was truly fortunate that her adoptive parents appear to be providing her with a loving, caring home and that her birth parents loved her enough to make sure she had that home, no matter what it cost them emotionally.

  9. #729
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaAmyG;4062830;
    Hey, don't get me wrong, in no way do I think Gary is a saint or do I intend to defend him for being totally lazy. I just feel like he comes across as the lesser of two evils. And I too would be pissed at him for waking up Leah, but it's not worth the sort of tantrum Amber threw over it. My main preference for him to have physical custody over Amber, assuming that they are split up, is that his mother is still involved in his life and could provide some additional mature support. Also, Amber has shown that her anger towards people she loves can be physically volatile. Though she has never lashed out at Leah on camera, she has at Gary. So, my opinion is less a defense of Gary than it is a decision against Amber. Hope that is more clear!
    That's it exactly. I don't think any of us would wish Amber or Gary on Leah as parents if we had a choice. But we don't and neither does she, and at the moment, as inept as Gary is, he does seem to be the lesser of two evils. That doesn't speak to his virtues so much as it speaks to Amber's obvious faults. She seems so constantly and easily upset that he seems calm and reasonable by comparison, even if he has a long ways to go to be a decent parent himself.

    Remember in a much earlier episode when Amber was put on a drug by a psychiatrist who diagnosed her as being depressed? I don't know that depression is the problem, but I don't think Amber being in counseling would be the worst idea in the world. She clearly has huge issues when it comes to managing anger and communicating with Gary--or anyone, really.

  10. #730
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by karna68;4062167;
    I'm sorry but I'm on Maci's side, Ryan is NOT a good father, his parents CLEARLY take care of Bentley when he is over at their house. It was their idea to take Maci to court, not Ryan's, Ryan does not speak for himself, he barely speaks! When he was at dinner with his friends and girlfriend they did all the talking and he just sat there eating chips and salsa
    I don't think Ryan is necessarily a good father--just that he has a good point that Maci is disrupting Bentley's life, even if he arrived at that point entirely by accident. And I don't think he's part of Bentley's support system so much as his parents are, but if Maci and Bentley move to Nashville, he won't see them either. I don't think Maci is handling the move particularly well either. She didn't tell Ryan what she was planning until he basically pushed her into it, and she waited until the absolute last minute to tell her parents as well. In both cases, she did so, because she knew none of them would take it well. Now that she knows that once Ryan starts court proceedings, she can't move, she's quickly moving before he can. Unfortunately, that may not look good for her when it comes to going to court, depending on how the judge perceives that. It's not Maci doesn't have a right to move, but she's handling it less well than she usually handles things, and whether she likes it or not, Ryan is Bentley's father and she is going to have to deal with him for the next sixteen years or so. To some of us, it also looks like Maci is moving along in this relationship with Kyle rather quickly, though perhaps that's just because of the way the show is edited. They may have known each other a long time, but their relationship is still fairly new, and Kyle has never had a serious girlfriend before. It might have been better to keep the long-distance thing going for a while yet. If their relationship can survive that, it's likely to survive a lot more.

    I also don't think Maci's taking into consideration that Ryan may feel very threatened by Kyle, whom he may see as taking his place with Bentley. Even if Ryan doesn't do much of anything with Bentley, that doesn't mean he might not get jealous of Bentley spending more time with Bentley than he does. Yeah, that may be an immature reaction, but it happens all the time. Again, it may not be fair, but for Bentley's sake, Maci needs to think about how Ryan's seeing this situation so that she can work something out with Ryan that will be the best compromise for all of them. If that turns out to be absolute impossibility, however, the only alternative may be court, and really, given the situation between his parents, it might be best for Bentley if there was some kind of legal custody agreement worked out that both of them had to agree to and abide by.

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