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Thread: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

  1. #601
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by Debb70;4033392;
    Tilden, I agree with your comments.

    I was worried that Leah's feet were burning in the hot sand. Her feet are more tender and sensitive than an adult's feet. Her parents didn't seem to even consider that and forced her to walk on the sand Please. They just do not have it with regard to living in reality. I don't think it's going to change. That little girl doesn't have a chance. Poor thing. She would be so much better off with parents who really knew something about how to raise a child and how to relate to others. They are clueless when it comes to those things. I have never understood how people who are flat broke can take vacations. Even if the room is paid for, there are many out of pocket expenses such food, gas, etc. By the time Leah is 5 years old, she will probably be more mature than her parents.

    I'm glad to see that Maci intends to hold off on introducing Bentley to every man she dates. That shows her maturity and desire to be a good parent.

    It's becoming apparent that Caitlyn and Tyler need a break from each other. Dating othe people would be good for them.

    Why Farrah and her mom don't understand that their toxic relationship is horrible for Sophia, I don't know. All of those negative vibes are bad for the child. She will grow up with knots in her tummy just hearing them fuss and talk smart to each other. That is abuse IMO. Farrah will eventually leave Sophia in a dangerous situation in which the authorities are notified IMO. She doesn't set the child as a high priorty. She really doesn't seem to have bonded with her really. Sad thing is that Sophia will be a replica of Farrah in about 10 years.
    I hadn't even thought about the sand burning Leah's feet, but then I seldom go to the beach, and when I have been to the beach, it's generally been in much cooler climates than Florida. I thought perhaps she was just uncomfortable with the feeling of a shifting surface under her feet--but if it was a hot, shifting surface, that would be even worse. I have noticed that the only time Leah isn't fussy appears to be when she's not in direct contact with her parents. She was more relaxed at daycare on her first day than she is with them, perhaps because the daycare situation isn't as tense and loud.

    I never understand how people can go on vacation when they're hard up for money either. There are things they could do closer to home that are less expensive--free, even--to relax. I haven't taken a non-work related trip in years, so I've decided to start saving money every month so I can go somewhere fun next summer--and I am gainfully employed full-time and make a decent salary. I'm just more comfortable saving up for something before I do it, so I don't have to pay it off in installments later or dip into the money I have set aside for emergencies or, heaven forbid, my long term savings.

    Maci has clearly grown up quickly in order to be the best mother she can be for Bentley. Caitlin and Tyler still have a ways to go in terms of growing up, but they're dealing better with their situation than one might think they would, given their messy family situations. I agree that they probably need to see other people or, at the very least, need to stop being so dependent upon one another for all their emotional needs. Even if they just started spending time with their own friends, that might help.

    I don't think Farrah has a clue what it means to be a mother to Sophia. She often seems to treat her like some kind of little doll she can play with when she wishes and ignore the rest of the time. She also treats Sophia to things like a pedicure--which Farrah enjoys--without thinking about what Sophia might enjoy. I realize Sophia seemed okay with the pedicure, but Farrah never gets down on the floor and plays simple games that Sophia might like, because Farrah's not interested in doing that. It's about what Farrah wants, not what Sophia needs. And I agree that Farrah and her mother are going to tear that little girl apart if they don't start trying to get along for her sake.

  2. #602
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I agree Tilden.

    I live in NC and we have been at the beach for much of my life. In the summer time, the sand is HOT and you can't walk on it without burning your feet, unless you get down near the water where it's cooler. That's why you must wear your filp flops. I hope for Leah's sake her feet didn't get burned.

    When I watch these parents raising these babies, it reminds me of why we have so many screwed up adults. (I'm not including Maci, Caityln or Tyler.) If we see all of the terrible things that happen on screen, can you imagine what happens off camera? It's scary.

  3. #603
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Some of the beaches I have been to in Florida have very fine, white sand that was actually quite cool even far from the water. I too wondered if Leah was upset at hot sand, but depending on the beach (I have never been to that particular one. I am thinking of a place called Siesta Key which advertises white sand that is 99% pure quartz and cool on the feet see this link to the Siesta Key Chamber) that may not have been the issue at all.

    I don't remember which beach they were at though.
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  4. #604
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I would think that had Leah's feet been burning on the sand that she would have been lying on her back waving her feet in the air. Kids have ways of definitely getting their points across when they are not talking yet; they'll start doing all kinds of wiggly dances. I'm guessing it was the consistancy of the sand that disturbed her, plus she's a crier, by nature. Her parents would have known if the sand was too hot to walk on. These people aren't stupid....just irritating.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  5. #605
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    The other possibility is that Leah, who is, as you pointed out, a crier, was upset by any combination of things--the heat, the sand shifting under her feet, her daily schedule being upset etc. Sometimes parents forget that things that might seem fun to them aren't necessarily viewed the same way by their toddlers, who are more easily overwhelmed and tend to cling more tenaciously to the familiar. And when Leah is overwhelmed by anything, including the tension between her parents, she tends to cry, which isn't a big surprise, since she observes her mom bursting into tears and whining whenever she's upset, so even if she were capable of a better response, no such response is being modeled for her (unless someone at daycare is setting a better example for her). I've also noticed that when Leah starts fussing, Amber gets annoyed, but she generally picks her up fairly quickly too, because she quiets down almost immediately after being picked up. Leah's learned that the fastest way to get attention is to cry, so she does.

    And yes, it does worry me that we're only seeing the tip of the iceberg in terms of what goes on in those households. I hope if the camera crews see anything really terrible that they feel an obligation to report it to the proper authorities. I also really hope the teenagers for whom this series is meant are as appalled by it as I am. I'm not a parent, but I am a dog owner, and I wouldn't trust my dog, or any dog, with most of these people for even an hour. I can't imagine thinking it was a good idea for them to raise a child.

  6. #606
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    i don't think the issue was the sand was too hot for her feet. i am sure it would have been too hot for gary and amber's too if it was.

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaAmyG;4034676;
    Some of the beaches I have been to in Florida have very fine, white sand that was actually quite cool even far from the water. I too wondered if Leah was upset at hot sand, but depending on the beach (I have never been to that particular one. I am thinking of a place called Siesta Key which advertises white sand that is 99% pure quartz and cool on the feet see this link to the Siesta Key Chamber) that may not have been the issue at all.

    I don't remember which beach they were at though.

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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Also, can I point out, there was snow on the ground when they left home for the road trip, plus it was probably pretty soon after Valentine's Day. Unless they went all the way to Miami, I doubt the sand would have been so hot at that time of year that it would have burned Leah. That being said, I think it's likely that she was scared at seeing something so new and different, and it would have been best to let her take the time to get used to seeing the sand and ocean instead of just dragging her down the beach screaming.

  8. #608
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilden;4032989;
    Teen Moms is becoming extremely hard to watch, though I'd like to think that it would also scare some common sense into any teenagers thinking that having a baby would be great
    I was thinking the same thing. Not that the 1st season was exactly the reality show equivalent of Michael Buble, just that there was more room for - hope, I guess, for want of a better word.

    I knew that they would only cast girls who chose to complete their pregnancy. As often happens, the economic transition to an older, more traditional model is accompanied by corresponding cultural "retro" trends, so I was under no illusion that MTV was going to trot out any of Dr Drew's colleagues to "educate" girls about their choices how their bodies belonged to them, etc.

    But I confess that I did hope that more of them would make the same choice Catelynn and Tyler did. Speaking of adoption, is there no one in that community who could step up and give that little girl some help? Talk about unpleasant televiewing!

    To return to your point, just like the situation the kids are in, each successive "season" gets harder.

    The other girls chose to bring their babies home, and in none of the cases does it really seem like their parents had thought the thing through.

    The kids are kids, but their parents don't have that excuse. They know what it means to raise a child, or at least to have one in the home that you are supposed to be raising, and you'd think that they would understand that a good chunk of the grandchild burden would be on their own shoulders.

    Farrah has declared outright that her mother actually ordered her to keep the baby, although it is obvious that she (the mother) gave little thought to the reality of what that would mean to the family dynamic, or had even been hit with the clue stick that she is hardly a candidate for any parenting awards - oh well. I don't have to read back 200 pages to know that horse is little more than dust by now.

    Anyway, like you, I also would like to think that the show would stand as a cautionary tale to younger viewers, but the problem is that when you are that age, you think - no, wait - you know - that it would be different for you.

    I can promise you that every little girl with visions of her very own cute little baby dancing in her head, currently dating her version of Maci's Ryan, watches this show and then switches over to Whose Wedding Is it Anyway or Say Yes to the Dress and expands that vision to include her drifting down the aisle in a $5000 gown with an empire waist that nods elegantly to the bump, and there in all his Armani-tuxed glory is her Ryanoid Prince waiting at the altar, manfully choking back tears, overcome with a flood of love as he beholds her ethereal beauty...

    Because he's not like that, see. He really loves her and will love the baby so much, and want to take care of it all the time. He loves her so much that sometimes he can't even stand to stop loving her long enough to put a condom on...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilden;4032989;
    ...Amber and Gary drive me right up the wall
    Yeah, well the really sad thing about that is that Gary is actually the more responsible and mature of the two, and one of the "good" babydaddies.

    Yet another reminder that when we say "kids having kids," we're not kidding.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilden;4034151;
    ...I never understand how people can go on vacation when they're hard up for money
    I think it's probably different for people who are hard up for money but go on vacation accompanied by a camera crew, and also getting an MTV check, as well as anything they want to do or visit comping them for promotional consideration and product placement

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;4033421;
    Other than being in love with drama, I have no idea why Caitlynn told Tyler about the boyfriend from 3 years ago...
    I think her life has had so little of anything but drama that I don't get a sense of her being in love with it in the way many of us are at that age.

    I think she told him about it because she's 17, she considers him the Love of Her Life, and was probably motivated by a romantic notion of having no secrets and being unable to bear keeping anything from him - and/or she may have simply misunderestimated his own immaturity.

    His view is equally child-like: because he has only been with her, he wants her to have been only with him.

    While a grown-up would not react that way to something that happened during a break-up three years ago - unless you count Jennifer Anniston - "WE WERE ON A BREAK!" - (sorry, gratuitous Friends reference) - or care about what the person s/he loves may have done with whom in the past, a grown-up would also be mature enough to recognize that the need to "come clean" about something like that is typically motivated by our thinking more about how WE feel than putting the feelings of the other person first, and thinking things through from their point of view, before enjoying the luxury of unburdening our conscience.

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;4033421;
    ...That was a huge mistake...I guess it's called live and learn.
    You're absolutely right. It totally was, and that is exactly what it's called!

    Sometimes I think that we forget - at least I do - that growing up isn't something we do all in one gulp - it happens in spots. In fits and starts, and the proverbial one step forward and two steps back.

    I don't mean that this is the case with you, but with the ones who do demonstrate spots of maturity and wisdom beyond their years, a lot of times I catch myself setting the whole length of the bar too high, and expecting them to follow through with everything they do on that same level.

    But when I step back a little bit and look at Catelynn and Tyler, they really are the quintessential flower managing to bloom in a pile of warm pupdog mistake.

    Considering the home life they have grown up with, there would be a resounding lack of amazement, at least on my part, if they had both dropped out of school, left home and hit the streets, joining untold millions of their fellow children of Terrible Situations before they were old enough to even be on a show called "16 and pregnant," yet at least out of this first season's cast, they emerge as the Kids Most Likely to actually Get Out of Town and go on to live prosperous lives.

    I don't mean any disrespect to Maci by that, just that I think she is destined for a different kind of prosperous life.

    She seems to so perfectly exemplify those women who were "born to be a mother," that if I were going to predict her future, (and just what am I doing, if not exactly that, huh?) I'd guess that after conscientiously and prudently completing whatever course of study she is pursuing, and probably working at whatever job for which her degree is the intended ticket for a period of time sufficient to establish for her own self-knowledge that she is indeed a capable and competent whatever-it-is, she will be snapped up by a fine upstanding man who was born to be a father, whether he has any kids already or not, and Maci will happily trade her daily commute and weekly paycheck for the privilege of devoting herself completely to to the most demanding career anyone, man or woman can choose - Parent - at which she will be so gloriously successful, setting such an impeccable and stellar example and standard that the person with whom little Bentley grows up and chooses to share HIS life would be totally intimidated and feel utterly inadequate, were it not for Maci being so reassuring and loving, striking the perfect balance between helpfulness and meddling, and making the transition to grandmother and matriarch as gracefully as a prima ballerina executes a battement glissť!

    Quote Originally Posted by holly71;4033623;
    ...regarding Sophia's daddy, in the original episodes of 16 & Pregnant, when Farrah found out she was pregnant, I remember her making comments about him that she didn't want him to know, & she made it sound like he was not a good guy, overall. Now she's making these comments about how he was "the guy" for her, & how she's sad that he's not around to be in Sophia's life. So which is it, Farrah? I think she's a storyteller...
    Well, it was her mother who said he was not a good guy, forbade her to tell him she was pregnant, and her mother who decreed that Farrah would have the baby and bring it home.

    My initial impression of Farrah was that she had little, if any contact with reality, and considering that she lived with that harridan of a mother, I sort of considered that a healthy reaction to an unhealthy situation.

    What wasn't so healthy was that she obeyed her mother's orders with regard to both babydaddy and baby, and it is only now that she is beginning to see that she did not make a good choice.

    Though she has since been obliged by circumstances to brush up against reality, albeit lightly, I don't think she has let it get to first base yet. She certainly isn't doing any heavy petting with it.

    It seems obvious that either some elder or other, MTV or both, are subsidizing her, since she has managed to obtain an apartment and a car note, neither of which would be a good fit for the wage she receives working at the pizza place.

    The MTV checks won't last forever, and her living expenses, like yours and mine and everybody else's, are only going up, and even when she completes her restaurant management course, that is still no guarantee that she will be making a Living Wage sufficient for supporting herself and a child for some time.

    All that is to say that I can't really disagree with you about her being a "storyteller," but I think maybe you mean she is telling stories to the counselor, and to us, while I believe she is telling stories to herself.

    I know this doesn't speak well for my own contact with reality, but I cannot stop myself from hoping that before little Sophia gets any older, that Farrah will come to love her enough to be the instrument of making somebody somewhere, who wants to raise a child more than they want anything else, the happiest person in the world, and in so doing, save her daughter from what promises to be a most dismal, I believe some have used the word "toxic," life.

    Yikes! I started out with every intention of making a short comment. If you are still reading this, thank you for your tolerance and understanding of the difficulties faced by People Living With Brevity Impairment.

  9. #609
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Wow! I have to commend you for having the focus and motivation to type that long!

    I think you pretty much nailed it for most of them, especially Macy, Caitlyn and Tyler. I do disagree a little about Farrah's mom - I think she really loves Sophia, and you can tell when they're in scenes together that they've really bonded. Sophia's face just lights up when she sees Grandma. My fairy-tale hope for them is that Grandma gets some court-ordered anger management and ends up with Sophia, after having learned from Farrah's mistakes. Farrah just has no emotional connection to Sophia at all, and doesn't even really seem to like her. Of course, if Farrah magically changed as well, that'd be fine too! But something's gotta give.

    I also really disagree with your "promise" that every little girl watching this isn't getting it. I, personally, am of the age to be on this show. I love babies, can't wait to be married to a good man and have a baby..... eventually. I have a lot to do first, a lot to see, a lot of experiences that I want to have that would be just so much harder with a kid in tow. I know that when my friends and I watch this show, we all really really understand what a struggle and tragedy it is. Then again, we're all highly intelligent, very well-adjusted girls anyway.

  10. #610
    Brevity Impaired bahurupiya's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;4037333;
    I also really disagree with your "promise" that every little girl watching this isn't getting it...
    I said every little girl with visions of ... but thanks for pointing it out, I should have put the qualifier in italics!

    And thanks for telling me Farrah's mom's name - I had forgotten it! I don't doubt that she loves Sophia - and Farrah, for that matter.

    And of course we never know how bad an edit people on these shows are getting, but just going on the non-MTV public record alone, while it would be great if it happened, I'm not sure that Frances illness could be cured by simply going to an anger management course, though I'm sure she - and more people than not, probably - could benefit from taking one.

    Illness and lack of love are very different animals, though illness can manifest itself in ways that are not compatible with a healthy environment for young living things!
    One man's conspiracy is another man's business plan.

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