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Thread: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

  1. #491
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    The episode tonight really irritated me. I think they concentrate too much on the negatives of adoption. Adoption is a great gift to a couple who are willing, ready, and able to care for a newborn. Sixteen year old girls and their mostly inadequate sperm donors are not ready for this. I feel she did the right thing, but the way it looked was that she was pushed into it.

    I hated the fact that they showed the adoptive parents saying they could not get ready for a newborn that quickly. Wow as an adoptive parent myself, that disgusted me with how long waiting lists are, and to turn one down as if they come along everyday. I think they will regret that decision for a long time to come.

    I think that Lori will see that she made the right choice, and when she is older and ready hopefully she will have her family.

    Her boyfriend was the perfect example of why teens should not raise children. They cannot keep their decisions the same for two seconds. Babies deserve better than this.

  2. #492
    FORT Fogey straycat80's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Finally! Parents who put their foot down and told the teen daughter she really needed to think about adoption and didn't go thru the mockery of a baby shower just because her other teen friends thought it would be cool to have one. It did seem heartless that the parents were pushing the adoption on Lori and the boyfriend but they were only trying to do what was right for the baby and their daughter. And after seeing how irresponsible the boyfriend was adoption turned out to be the right choice.
    I was confused too by the first adoptive couple changing their mind. We have friends who just got a 2 week notice that they were getting a newborn and they were not prepared either, but they made the preparations (quickly) because they had been waiting for 5 years for their baby.
    I think Lori will realise she made the right choice.

  3. #493
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I agree. All that you really need for a newborn is diapers, bottles, and a bassinet, and maybe a few onesies. The rest can come later! I didn't use half the stuff I got until I came up for air when my son was over a month old. They must not have really wanted a baby!

  4. #494
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I think the potential adoptive parents just decided that they didn't want this child. I don't think they were comfortable with adopting a kid from down the street when the mother wasn't sure she wanted to give the kid up in the first place. That's a red flag. It may have turned out bad.

    These parents are just horrible. They forced this girl to give up her baby. It needed to be her decision. Every time she decided she wanted to keep the kid, they would try new tactics and give new excuses to get rid of it. How very selfish of them. The didn't think of their daughter and they certainly weren't thinking about the kid. It was obvious to me that they were just thinking of themselves. You have to be a really low person to force your kid to give up her child.

  5. #495
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    i don't know abt that . . . . i think there's something to be said for parents that stand their ground as far as teenage parenting. my parents made it clear to us that they would not be raising any babies from teeens nor would they provide housing/clothing/food, etc. for any parenting teens or their kids . . . . had i become pregnant as a teen, i would def have been "encouraged" to give the baby up for adoption, just as one of my aunt's was.

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3856838;

    These parents are just horrible. They forced this girl to give up her baby. It needed to be her decision. Every time she decided she wanted to keep the kid, they would try new tactics and give new excuses to get rid of it. How very selfish of them. The didn't think of their daughter and they certainly weren't thinking about the kid. It was obvious to me that they were just thinking of themselves. You have to be a really low person to force your kid to give up her child.

  6. #496
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by buttahfly;3856860;
    i don't know abt that . . . . i think there's something to be said for parents that stand their ground as far as teenage parenting. my parents made it clear to us that they would not be raising any babies from teeens nor would they provide housing/clothing/food, etc. for any parenting teens or their kids . . . . had i become pregnant as a teen, i would def have been "encouraged" to give the baby up for adoption, just as one of my aunt's was.
    Well, I think what separates these parents from yours is that these parents were manipulative and then forceful when manipulation failed. They should have just told her that she couldn't keep the child from the beginning. Instead, they told her that she should consider adoption and they would let her make the decision. They basically broke her down until she felt she had no choice. It was tactic after tactic after tactic. If they had mandated her to give up her baby from the beginning (which I wouldn't have agreed with either), the struggle may have been over quickly. They broke her down emotionally. What a horrible thing to do. Your parents were laying down rules. And I am sure they would have been more gentle with you if you had become pregnant. These parents were playing mind games with their daughter and making her feel badly about herself.
    This episode shows that adoption isn't always the best option. Lori's parents are adoptive parents. They have done something really terrible to their daughter. It is a great option at times but it doesn't always turn out well. I cannot say that adoption was the right decision in this case. I cannot say if it was the wrong decision either. I am certain that the way these parents went about it was horrible.

  7. #497
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3856838;
    I think the potential adoptive parents just decided that they didn't want this child. I don't think they were comfortable with adopting a kid from down the street when the mother wasn't sure she wanted to give the kid up in the first place. That's a red flag. It may have turned out bad.

    These parents are just horrible. They forced this girl to give up her baby. It needed to be her decision. Every time she decided she wanted to keep the kid, they would try new tactics and give new excuses to get rid of it. How very selfish of them. The didn't think of their daughter and they certainly weren't thinking about the kid. It was obvious to me that they were just thinking of themselves. You have to be a really low person to force your kid to give up her child.
    I realize you are very hardline when it comes to the whole subject matter, but I have to tell you something, I was put up for adoption and thank God for that as what memories I carry of my `biological mother' are memories of disaster. My biological parents were neither mature enough or financially stable enough to handle raising me properly. I thank God someone stepped in and put their foot down (although it took a few years). I was adopted and consider my `adoptive parents' to be `blood relatives.' A baby should not have to wait for their `mommy' to grow up. They need someone loving and competent the miunte they enter this world. The parents in this episode were acting like parents, making an unpopular decision but doing it so their daughter and the baby could have a better chance at a bright future. It also is unfair to saddle parents with the job of built in baby sittesr and ATM machines for daughter and baby. So many of these girls have permissive parents who clearly kow tow to their child's every whim, putting up with abusive behavior.
    Real love for one's child sometimes means adoption, knowing the child may have a much better start in life. That takes a type of love that to me shows maturity. Yes, it's awful and painful, but those arern't good enough reason not to do it. Your feelings, when you bring a child into the world, become less important than what is right for the baby.
    " I have a simple outlook-leave every person I meet with a smile on their face."-Donny

  8. #498
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3856999;
    Well, I think what separates these parents from yours is that these parents were manipulative and then forceful when manipulation failed. They should have just told her that she couldn't keep the child from the beginning. Instead, they told her that she should consider adoption and they would let her make the decision. They basically broke her down until she felt she had no choice. It was tactic after tactic after tactic. If they had mandated her to give up her baby from the beginning (which I wouldn't have agreed with either), the struggle may have been over quickly. They broke her down emotionally. What a horrible thing to do. Your parents were laying down rules. And I am sure they would have been more gentle with you if you had become pregnant. These parents were playing mind games with their daughter and making her feel badly about herself.
    This episode shows that adoption isn't always the best option. Lori's parents are adoptive parents. They have done something really terrible to their daughter. It is a great option at times but it doesn't always turn out well. I cannot say that adoption was the right decision in this case. I cannot say if it was the wrong decision either. I am certain that the way these parents went about it was horrible.

    I absolutley did not see abusive parents in this episode- I saw parents who were trying to do their best. But it doesn't really matter in the end, because you already stated no matter how they did it they would be wrong. You believe the only right choice is one in which the girl has the last say. I don't understrand that reasoning as the girl won't be raising the child, anyhow- w/o their parents each of these girls would be homeless, which means their children would be, as well. These girls are placing most of the responsibility for raising the child on their parents-their parents arer feeding, clothing and babysitting the child, not to mention putting a roof over the babies head-something a sixteen year old can't do. The financial strain could have terrible consequences. So, no, it shouldn't be up to the girl, the decison must include those who will be responsible for both mother and child.
    " I have a simple outlook-leave every person I meet with a smile on their face."-Donny

  9. #499
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I don't believe these parents were abusive at all. They were smart parents. Parents that are trying to teach their daughter how tough it is in THIS world we are living in. Money does not grow on trees. 16yo's cannot possibly handle raising a baby, combined with school and work. 16yo's are still babies themselves in allot of ways. I thought Lori and her parents had a great relationship even though they may have disagreed on the adoption. BUT what was clear was that Lori had this fixation on Corey "being there for her and the baby" and he was NOT. That made Lori realize that her parents may just be right about adoption.
    No one mentioned finances ever. They spoke of Lori possibly moving in with Corey but that did not work out as we saw.
    In the end, this work out great for all, Lori, her parents, Corey and the adoptive parents. Watching Lori sledding down the hill with all her girlfriends was GREAT.
    KAREN

  10. #500
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3856838;
    These parents are just horrible. They forced this girl to give up her baby. It needed to be her decision. Every time she decided she wanted to keep the kid, they would try new tactics and give new excuses to get rid of it. How very selfish of them. The didn't think of their daughter and they certainly weren't thinking about the kid. It was obvious to me that they were just thinking of themselves. You have to be a really low person to force your kid to give up her child.
    See I think they were being smart. There was no chance in hell Lori and that douche could have raised that child. While she might have had a decent reason to keep the child (only blood relative), I got the sense she was only doing it because she thought that it would bring her and Cory back together. The second he decided he didnt want it, she changed her tune.

    Watching this show, you get the sense that alot of these girls are doing it just because they think it will get the guy back in their lives. These parents were smart enough to put their foot down and say No, you cant do this. Most of them dont know what they are getting themselves into. How is it them being selfish because their idiot daughter made a stupid decision to get knocked up by some lowlife and they dont want to be the ones taking care of the child? They knew how it was going to end up and for the sake of the child, they made a decision. That child is 100% better off with a family with two capable parents who are able to care for it instead of some dumb girl and her low life ex-boyfriend.

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