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Thread: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

  1. #441
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Teenaged Birth Father, Deemed Execellent Parent, Has No Rights In Court Ruling.
    Timid unwed fathers lose parenting rights
    This is a very good example of what I mean when I say many gilrs in fact, have more rights than the father or even the child when it comes to court. This story is not unique ( I won't even go into biological mothers going into court demanding the return of their child after the child has been legally adopted-and that demand being granted time and again) in the below case, a teenaged father's petition for custody of his child was denied by the court even though he did everything right in caring for the child and the child's mother, both financially and emotionally. His parents even offered up there home to the child and the child's mother-but the court ruled the biological mothers right to put their child up for adoption (which she did) trumped all legal rights of the father, even though the court agreed he was an outstanding parent with a solid support system. We see it time and again the courts unable to see past the archaic belief that the `bond' between biological mother and child is more powerful than the bond between child and biological father or adoptive parents, eevn though it's now being argued the importance of that bond is overstated and varies in each case.
    Timid unwed fathers lose parenting rights
    Last edited by redsox girl; 03-06-2010 at 04:12 PM.
    " I'm a Republican. I only seem liberal because I believe hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure, not gay marriage."- Will Macavoy The Newsroom

  2. #442
    FORT Fogey redsox girl's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;3849057;
    Actually, statistically, it is MUCH harder for a father to get custody of a child than a mother. It's true that a man can never force a woman to go through with a pregnancy, and he also can't force her to abort a pregnancy. Therefore, the woman gets utter control over whether or not the baby will actually exist. In today's world, she gets a choice.

    These girls are not victims. Oh, you can say they're victims of a society that doesn't deal well enough with sex education, or victims of a home that didn't succeed in protecting their daughter from this. But they aren't being victimized by anyone simply because they got pregnant, and it won't do ANYONE - especially the baby - any good to pretend they are. As soon as the little plus sign shows up and you decide to keep it, then you're responsible for that life. You need to grow up and figure out a plan, whether it's adoption or your mom raising the baby or something. Just an established plan.
    thank you, you said it much better than I did.
    " I'm a Republican. I only seem liberal because I believe hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure, not gay marriage."- Will Macavoy The Newsroom

  3. #443
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.;3848648;
    I honestly don't think they are using condoms anyway. And sure the long-term effects of hormones should be discussed and emphasized - right along with the effects of not using them.

    I also want to comment on the suggestion of taking away the parental rights of a teen mom. If a teen gets pregnant, who are we to decide she is automatically not capable of being a good and decent mother? We give her the right to choose whether to abort the baby or not, but not the right to raise it? The baby should be taken away from her and given to a grandparent or adoptive family? Really? I don't recall seeing any moms (of the teens) who should be raising these babies.
    Yes, I'm pretty sure some of them said thery had stopped using them or figured one time w/o wouldn't cause a preganancy. If I'm not mistaken, I believe one of the girls on the reunion show said she might be preganat again.

    I know when I watch these stories I am reacting to the girl i see on that screen and how she treats her newborn-I think of all the people in the world who desperatley want children, who are emotionally and spiritually and financially prepared for it, being denied that chance because a teenaged girl thinks she is the best choice for the role of mother simply because she is carrying that child- yet, once the child is born the girls shown on this series, for the most part, are only making it because their parents are stepping in to do the work and the atmosphere is chaotic and the stress within the household palpable-it was suggested that the girls need time to mature into motherhood-but how long should a child have to wait for that maturity to occur before waiting takes a toll on the child? What if that maturity never happens? Or takes a long time? What if the child is abused because of the stress and the chaos? I absolutley believe you are right, making automatic judgement calls is wrong and it's wrong to assume all teeneaged mothers are bad mothers. But, what of the bad ones? Then what? What if it's too late to step in and save the child?
    " I'm a Republican. I only seem liberal because I believe hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure, not gay marriage."- Will Macavoy The Newsroom

  4. #444
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Unfortunately, that's a part of life. Some people (babies) are going to fall through the cracks.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  5. #445
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Some steps could be taken in our society to prevent that though. When a teenage girl gets pregnant, it's mostly up to her parents to guide her, to help her make decisions, to teach her to parent. Schools should have programs to help these girls. There should be mandatory counseling for them, not with a school guidance counselor, but a real psychologist. This counseling should begin as soon as it can, in order for them to help the girl figure out a good plan for her baby, helped by a responsible person. Once babies are born, in some schools (including mine) they have a daycare program for teenage mothers, and during their gym/health period the mother and the father, assuming he goes to the school, go there to learn about taking care of a baby.

  6. #446
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;3849525;
    Some steps could be taken in our society to prevent that though. When a teenage girl gets pregnant, it's mostly up to her parents to guide her, to help her make decisions, to teach her to parent. Schools should have programs to help these girls. There should be mandatory counseling for them, not with a school guidance counselor, but a real psychologist. This counseling should begin as soon as it can, in order for them to help the girl figure out a good plan for her baby, helped by a responsible person. Once babies are born, in some schools (including mine) they have a daycare program for teenage mothers, and during their gym/health period the mother and the father, assuming he goes to the school, go there to learn about taking care of a baby.
    That is a great idea. I'm happy that some schools are helping these students. Unfortunately, counseling is something that is really expensive and will have to be sought outside of school and probably a specialist with a master's would be better suited for this sort of thing. I mean, schools can't even afford to have psychologists on staff any longer. What's going on at your school really seems like the best thing schools can do for teen
    parents.

  7. #447
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    This kind of thing will never be 100% mandated, so here we are in "should-ville" again. So many of these schools are having plenty of trouble even providing the basics these days...good luck on trying to get people to agree on anything like teenaged unmarried parents and their babies.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  8. #448
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by RealityLovesMe;3849574;
    That is a great idea. I'm happy that some schools are helping these students. Unfortunately, counseling is something that is really expensive and will have to be sought outside of school and probably a specialist with a master's would be better suited for this sort of thing. I mean, schools can't even afford to have psychologists on staff any longer. What's going on at your school really seems like the best thing schools can do for teen
    parents.
    You're absolutely right. A specialist with a masters is exactly what needs to happen. And counseling outside school is expensive, if you just walk in to a counseling center. However, if the state were to assign a case worker to these girls - just long enough to help them get the benefits they need to be able to afford treatment - they would be much better off. Schools, children's services, and counseling centers work together much more often than you might realize. They work together for girls getting into fights, doing drugs, skipping school, being depressed, being in bad homes. How much of this could we cut out if we focus on this problem at the source, and break the cycle?

    Sorry, I didn't mean to get soap-boxy. My mother's a psychotherapist, and she deals with schools and state officials in conjunction to do what's best for kids all the time, so I sort of know where the breakdowns in the system are.

    And if we all just say "this is what should happen, but it never will" nothing will ever change, anywhere. Rosa Parks could have said "I should be able to sit here, but I never will, so good luck guys." Susan B. Anthony could have said "Girls, you're right, we should be allowed to vote.... but everybody will never agree to that 100% so let's just forget it and get back to our knitting." Things change when people realize there's an issue, and that something needs to be done, and set about doing it.

  9. #449
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Maybe if this affected a majority of people in this country, it would help. And it might help if the people who are affected were out there leading the fight...like Rosa and Susan were. And maybe if people weren't so afraid to address sex matters, it would help.

    Ah yessss...I remember the idealistic....I've even been related to some of them. They eventually woke up....but it took a while.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #450
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    That was a little rude. No need to be condescending. I was merely pointing out that the first way to solve a problem - and teenage pregnancy IS a real problem, since it's usually part of a vicious circle - is to identify it and start small. It takes someone to lead by example to change things. In order for people to not be afraid to address sex issues, it will take people to start addressing them. That's not idealistic, that's just a fact.

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