MTV's 16 and Pregnant

[clsriley]

But I'd think the spider/varicose veins would be minor compared to a teen pregnancy. And to be completely honest - I wouldn't trust my teens to choose condoms as the only method of birth control. As a backup, yes (for disease, etc.), but not primarily.

My oldest daughter lived with me while in high school - she was offered birth control pills, and took them. I also gave her condoms. She didn't have sex until after she was 18.

My younger daughter lived with her father in her teen years. I offered to provide birth control to her also. Her father strongly objected, therefore she was not allowed birth control pills or condoms. She got pregnant in her junior year of high school. (She is happily married and now has 3 kids - but is definitely in the minority.)

I can't claim to be right or wrong here, but I know what worked for us. Although we can't stop those who want to have babies, we can at least make protection available.

Birth control is effective for preventing pregnacy, but the side effects of long term use should be emphasized. Health care providers seems to gloss over the side effects of prolonged use. Plus, when people are on birth control, they won't use condoms and are at risk for catchind STDs.

[StormWarning1]

Just a side note on Valerie and her friends' speech patterns. I started watching the show and was quickly distracted by the number of times they said "like." I kept track and, in one hour, Valerie said "like" 60 times, while her friends said it 28 times.

This over-use of the word completely disappeared when Valerie did the scripted, or voice over, segments. Her parents, her teacher, and the medical staff never once used "like" or "you know" as a break in their thoughts.

It's like, you know, like really, like annoying!

[edifiz100]

Just a side note on Valerie and her friends' speech patterns. I started watching the show and was quickly distracted by the number of times they said "like." I kept track and, in one hour, Valerie said "like" 60 times, while her friends said it 28 times.

This over-use of the word completely disappeared when Valerie did the scripted, or voice over, segments. Her parents, her teacher, and the medical staff never once used "like" or "you know" as a break in their thoughts.

It's like, you know, like really, like annoying!

I totally agree. Sometimes it was difficult to understand what she was saying cos every other word was 'like'.

[xmaskat]

As for the boys well yes they need some responsibility. I always wonder with the boys on this show if they have to pay any sort of child support at all. Ultimately though the girl can keep the kid away, and make all the decisions so most of the responsibility is on her.

I believe that the father must reach age 19 before the state will go after him to establish court-ordered child support.

[ClosetRTWatcher]

I believe that the father must reach age 19 before the state will go after him to establish court-ordered child support.

Really? For some reason that surprises me. It isn't like the baby is going to wait for the father to hit 19 before it needs clothes, diapers, etc. Someone on the paternal side should be held accountable.

On the other hand, I have to wonder why more of these fathers are involved in the most basic decision about these children, and that is whether to keep the baby in the first place. All we see at the beginning is the teen girl say "I'm keeping it" and we don't hear the fathers say anything. Not a single one (other than Tyler) appears to at least had a discussion about adoption with the girl. It would be nice to see one of these young dads actually talk to the girl about this decision given that it affects them also. Along that line of thought, it seems to me that the root of the problem is twofold.

(1) In society today we see moms all over the place raising kids on their own, so these young men don't think it's a big deal. Look at how many celebrities have "baby mamas"! In fact, there is a song on the radio recently whose main catch line is "Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire"!!

(2) The young men don't feel like they were a part of the "big decision" to begin with. Maybe if they had it out with the mom and they actually came to a mutual decision, then these young men would be more willing to step up to the plate. I know this is wishful thinking, but there should be mandatory education for teen couples who end up pregnant to discuss their options and the repercussions of those options.

[edifiz100]

On the other hand, I have to wonder why more of these fathers are involved in the most basic decision about these children, and that is whether to keep the baby in the first place. All we see at the beginning is the teen girl say "I'm keeping it" and we don't hear the fathers say anything. Not a single one (other than Tyler) appears to at least had a discussion about adoption with the girl. It would be nice to see one of these young dads actually talk to the girl about this decision given that it affects them also.

I remember in the last episode (I think it was Nikole) the teen mom said her boyfriend broke up with her when she decided she was going to keep the baby. She mentioned something about him not wanting her to have/keep the baby. So I guess most of these dads do not want the mom to keep the baby and that is why its not shown on TV. I am just guessing.

[redsox girl]

Men who want to be part of a child's life are not afforded the same rights as women within the court system, whether they are single parents or divorced fathers. How often do the courts simply rule in favor of the child living with the mother, with limited time given to the father? Even when the father would be the better parent? Yet, the father is expected to pay substantial child support even though the actual time he spends with the child can be severely limited. the court system is archaic in this regard. Yes, there will always be men who abuse the system, but I am talking about good men, men who want to do the right thing, who want to be not just a parent, but a role model, willing to take on massive responsibility.
There are teen fathers and adult fathers who go to court asking that their yet to be born child be placed in their care (either the birth mother is putting the baby up for adoption, is incapable of mothering or she is planning an abortion). Again, I am talking about boys and men with honorable intentions. While it's true many men shirk their responsibilities it's also true those who want to parent while the birth mother doesn't, won't or can't, have very little support from the court. Not every child grows up with wonderful memories of mom, some grow up with warm memories of a father, due to a variety of circumstances, who was mother and farther to that child. I noticed during the Olympics there were several commercials in repeated showings showering gratitude on all those moms who sacrificed for their child so that child could follow their dream. Yet, one of the most well known and successful American Olympians, Apollo Ono, was raised by his father in a close and loving relationship. It seems as if this country has a whole lot of generalizations and clichés about parenting when it comes to either sex.

[J.D.]

Birth control is effective for preventing pregnacy, but the side effects of long term use should be emphasized. Health care providers seems to gloss over the side effects of prolonged use. Plus, when people are on birth control, they won't use condoms and are at risk for catchind STDs.

I honestly don't think they are using condoms anyway. And sure the long-term effects of hormones should be discussed and emphasized - right along with the effects of not using them.

I also want to comment on the suggestion of taking away the parental rights of a teen mom. If a teen gets pregnant, who are we to decide she is automatically not capable of being a good and decent mother? We give her the right to choose whether to abort the baby or not, but not the right to raise it? The baby should be taken away from her and given to a grandparent or adoptive family? Really? I don't recall seeing any moms (of the teens) who should be raising these babies.

[RealityLovesMe]

Men who want to be part of a child's life are not afforded the same rights as women within the court system, whether they are single parents or divorced fathers. How often do the courts simply rule in favor of the child living with the mother, with limited time given to the father? Even when the father would be the better parent? Yet, the father is expected to pay substantial child support even though the actual time he spends with the child can be severely limited. the court system is archaic in this regard. Yes, there will always be men who abuse the system, but I am talking about good men, men who want to do the right thing, who want to be not just a parent, but a role model, willing to take on massive responsibility.
There are teen fathers and adult fathers who go to court asking that their yet to be born child be placed in their care (either the birth mother is putting the baby up for adoption, is incapable of mothering or she is planning an abortion). Again, I am talking about boys and men with honorable intentions. While it's true many men shirk their responsibilities it's also true those who want to parent while the birth mother doesn't, won't or can't, have very little support from the court. Not every child grows up with wonderful memories of mom, some grow up with warm memories of a father, due to a variety of circumstances, who was mother and farther to that child. I noticed during the Olympics there were several commercials in repeated showings showering gratitude on all those moms who sacrificed for their child so that child could follow their dream. Yet, one of the most well known and successful American Olympians, Apollo Ono, was raised by his father in a close and loving relationship. It seems as if this country has a whole lot of generalizations and clichés about parenting when it comes to either sex.

The court would grant the father custody or visitation rights if they determine he is trying to be a responsible parent. If he isn't getting regular visitation, then the court believes that there is a reason to deny him those rights. Even if he means well, the court can determine that it is not in the best interest of the kid to see his or her father.
As for a man wanting his partner to birth a child that she does not want to birth, that can never happen. A man should never be able to force a woman into having a child. I've never been pregnant before, but I can appreciate that it is really hard work! You can't do that.

[tears.and.rain]

Actually, statistically, it is MUCH harder for a father to get custody of a child than a mother. It's true that a man can never force a woman to go through with a pregnancy, and he also can't force her to abort a pregnancy. Therefore, the woman gets utter control over whether or not the baby will actually exist. In today's world, she gets a choice.

These girls are not victims. Oh, you can say they're victims of a society that doesn't deal well enough with sex education, or victims of a home that didn't succeed in protecting their daughter from this. But they aren't being victimized by anyone simply because they got pregnant, and it won't do ANYONE - especially the baby - any good to pretend they are. As soon as the little plus sign shows up and you decide to keep it, then you're responsible for that life. You need to grow up and figure out a plan, whether it's adoption or your mom raising the baby or something. Just an established plan.