MTV's 16 and Pregnant

[RealityLovesMe]

When a women gets pregnant, everyone knows. When a man gets a girl pregnant, no one know unless he says something. A man can keep living his life as usual, where a woman will be constantly experienceing changes in her body over a 9 month period. A woman will always carry a bigger burden because the outward signs of pregnancy, which a man does not have...how about we have men wear a scarlet P during the pregnancy so that everyone sees they are responsible for getting someone pregnant...how about that equality.

I think it would be a better idea to hold men responsible and not give them a pass. If we first criticize the father for being absentee before we criticize the mother for being imperfect, that would be a good thing. Being male shouldn't be a get out of jail free card.

[Giggity22]

This show highlights what irritates me most about teen pregnancy - the teen dads get off scot free. The teen mom gets the reputation, has the baby to care for, the bills to worry about AND she still has to go to school. The teen dads? They have the luxury to come and go as they please, finish their educations uninteruppted and essentially choose when & where (if ever) they participate in the life of their child.

The entire responsibility is placed on the teen mom and her family. In order to get teen dad to take any type of responsibility it's up to them to first prove it's his, and then to chase after him for any kind of financial help.

Then dont get pregnant. I said this before, its 2010. No matter who you are or where you come from, you know the risks of having unprotected sex. The last girl on the show had every person in her life telling her she was with a scumbag yet she still stayed with him.
While its entirely not fair that the girl must take all the responsibility and hardships, she could also say No or make the guy put on a condom. She could have also given up the baby and resumed her life.

To be fair, it's definitely harder for girls to get birth control discreetly. You have to go to the doctor to go on the pill, and it's not cheap like condoms are. A girl always has a right to say "not without protection" but "i love you and want to be with you" can be a pretty persuasive argument at fifteen.

My girlfriend spends 10$ a month to get the pill. Thats less then a box of 20 condoms. Less then 10 years ago when I was in college, Health Services sold condoms for 5 cents a piece. Dont high schools give them out now?

[tears.and.rain]

Depends on your high school. Mine doesn't - they prefer a "love means waiting" sort of approach. Many, many rural areas provide only that type of sex ed. We don't even get any until our Junior year. Nikkole didn't even make it that far did she? We don't live in a tiny little backwater town either - it's rural, but not terribly so. It's a national problem. I know our "family planning" center is in the middle of nowhere, completely unadvertised. That's the only place to get birth control - if you're a girl - that doesn't come from your family doctor.

Of course, I believe that if you are responsible enough for sex, you should be responsible enough to take care of that as well.

In the end, it's not about feminism or anti-feminism. It's about making sure we educate teens in a current and relatable manner to prevent this from happening.

I'm not sure that any of these guys have gotten a free pass. They've all been shown on TV as the jerks that they are. I don't know of anyone who would not look at their behavior as despicable. I don't know what is to be done other than change the public attitude towards viewing them as equally responsible.

[J.D.]

This show baffles me. Of course these girls know they can get pregnant. I don't for one second buy the "I didn't think it would happen to me" argument. I think it's either the girl wanted to get pregnant (the romance of having someone love her unconditionally), or she didn't have birth control handy (wasn't on the pill or neither party had a condom within an arm's length) when the hormones took over. I think even suggesting the use of condoms might be uncomfortable for a 15/16 year-old girl or boy. I can see how that might turn into a trust issue rather than a pregnancy issue. Then we have to realize humans were made to procreate beginning in the teenage years. These kids are fighting nature.

I thought it was sad how this season's first mom (can't remember her name) nor her mom (the baby's grandma) didn't seem to hold the baby, and both referred to him as "it" rather than "he" or even his name. He wasn't held during feedings even at just a few weeks. So sad.

[clsriley]

Condoms are not especially cheap either. However, with various sliding fee scale clinics to access birth control and various forms for birth control the girls in this show could take the initiative to go get some. And those same clinics also hand out free condoms. Aside from pregnancy these girls should consider that as a way of preventing STI's as well which is something this show didn't really talk about much from what I remember the few times I've watched it.

Birth control pills have side effects--the hormones cause spider veins and varicose veins to name a few. If I could go back in time, I would never have gone on birth control due to the side effects. In addition, birth control costs much more money per month than condoms. A condom has no side effects that I know of unless you are allergic to latex...use polyurethane.

[ClosetRTWatcher]

Wow. This is not a thread for a feminist as myself to read. It is very troubling to see people blame women for abandonment and blame women for the conception of a child and give men a pass. It is not a mother's fault that the father of her child abandons her or mistreats her. That makes her the victim. And I think it is unfortunate that people in 2010 would blame anyone for being a victim.

Interesting, I would think that a feminist would believe the woman should take control of the situation and prevent the pregnancy from occurring in the first place!

As women, we see this kind of thing happen time and time again. It may not be the girl's "fault" if the fathers of their children run off, but it certainly isn't going to help any of these teen moms to view themselves as "the victim". Like it or not, if they want the best life for their child they are going to have to grow up and take care of the situation themselves!

[sweet_lady]

Tonight's bf/baby daddy is a big douchebag. How old is he anyway?



ETA: Well it looks like he's trying to do the best he can for his baby. Spending what time he can and trying to find a more stable job. Oh and been there done that with the whole MAS thing with my first born. He spent 6 wks in the NICU because of it.

[J.D.]

Birth control pills have side effects--the hormones cause spider veins and varicose veins to name a few. If I could go back in time, I would never have gone on birth control due to the side effects. In addition, birth control costs much more money per month than condoms. A condom has no side effects that I know of unless you are allergic to latex...use polyurethane.

But I'd think the spider/varicose veins would be minor compared to a teen pregnancy. And to be completely honest - I wouldn't trust my teens to choose condoms as the only method of birth control. As a backup, yes (for disease, etc.), but not primarily.

My oldest daughter lived with me while in high school - she was offered birth control pills, and took them. I also gave her condoms. She didn't have sex until after she was 18.

My younger daughter lived with her father in her teen years. I offered to provide birth control to her also. Her father strongly objected, therefore she was not allowed birth control pills or condoms. She got pregnant in her junior year of high school. (She is happily married and now has 3 kids - but is definitely in the minority.)

I can't claim to be right or wrong here, but I know what worked for us. Although we can't stop those who want to have babies, we can at least make protection available.

[RealityLovesMe]

Interesting, I would think that a feminist would believe the woman should take control of the situation and prevent the pregnancy from occurring in the first place!

As women, we see this kind of thing happen time and time again. It may not be the girl's "fault" if the fathers of their children run off, but it certainly isn't going to help any of these teen moms to view themselves as "the victim". Like it or not, if they want the best life for their child they are going to have to grow up and take care of the situation themselves!

Teens are not responsible adults. Women are grown and teen mothers are still kids. These girls haven't learned how to protect themselves from these sort of men/boys because they are impressionable youth still. And discussing this sort of thing with people who do know is embarrassing and unpleasant for them. A lot of these kids don't know that this could happen to them and don't think that it could happen to them.
I guess what I am saying is that women have rights and women can protect themselves but young people don't usually know how to protect themselves (in sexual situations and from abusive relationships). Some don't even understand that harm and inconvenience can come their way. So they are bound to make mistakes (as do men/boys). When these mistakes happen, we should never judge the woman or girl more harshly than the boy or man. We should never hold her more accountable or stigmatize her. I believe that some here have treated the mothers unfairly in relationship to the fathers.

[MHcarrollton]

Something needs to be done period. We know the pattern, and what happens to children of children. They say the statistics over and over even on the show. The grandparents either need to be made guardians of the babies until the parents reach eighteen, or if they do not want to than the child needs to be put up for adoption. These girls treat these children like dolls when they are pregnant, and than after want to party. They cannot decide between nature and society. Nature says time to procreate, but society says time to party with friends. They are too young to be in this position period. They cannot vote or adopt a pet.

As for the boys well yes they need some responsibility. I always wonder with the boys on this show if they have to pay any sort of child support at all. Ultimately though the girl can keep the kid away, and make all the decisions so most of the responsibility is on her. Noone forces the girl to have sex, and all of them are at an age where they know a baby can be a result of that choice.