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Thread: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

  1. #1031
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I did some quick checking. Leah has been declared a child in need of protective services and placed in Gary's custody as of today. Amber is allowed only monitored visits. She is likely to be required to attend programs to determine whether she is suited to, and truly desires to, have permanent custody of Leah at some point in the future. The article I read indicated that it will be harder for Amber to regain custody now that the court has placed Leah in Gary's custody. So, Leah is technically a ward of the state, because she's been declared a child in need of protective services, but she's still with Gary, who's been taking care of her for the last six months.

    I really, really hope Gary doesn't blow it and allow Amber to manipulate him into doing something stupid, like allowing her unsupervised, additional visits. If he does, he'll likely lose custody too, and then Leah really will be a ward of the state. Of course, if he does, then Leah might be better off. I do have some hope that Amber won't be able to manipulate him when it comes to Leah's custody, however, given that the only times we've really seen him stand up for himself have come when he felt Leah was being neglected or treated inappropriately by Amber. I also really hope that the courts see to it that Gary gets some counseling too, as I think he needs it. He seemed all too willing to take whatever Amber wanted to dish out. Not that I wanted him to strike back, but there are other options between hitting back and just allowing himself to be hit.

  2. #1032
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Couple more things and then I'll stop: Leah remains in Gary's home, pending visits to determine whether it's a suitable situation for Leah. If it's deemed suitable, then he gets to keep taking care of her, as he has been for the last six months. Amber, by the way, let Gary have her, because she felt Leah would be "safer" with Gary, due to the press etc. hounding her. She also had acquired a new boyfriend at the time she left Leah with Gary.

    If Amber is convicted of the domestic abuse charges, she faces up to three years jail time plus up to $10,000 in fines.

  3. #1033
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Tilden, thanks for the indates.

    It's such a relief that Leah is out of harm's way with Amber. I saw some photos of Amber out partying in some magazine. She looked VERY thin. In one photo she was holding a bottle of vodka as is she was getting ready to take a drink. She's only 18 years old right? I've got a bad feeling about her.

    If Gary doesn't get the right therapy, then he is likely to repeat the cycle with a new girlfriend. People with this condition often hook up with another person who is just abusive down the road, and so on and so on. He has to learn how to avoid people who are like that.

    I don't think he undestands that when the adults are verbally or physically abusive to each other, that constitutes abuse to the child. You don't have to actually strike the child to abuse her. The fighing between the adults IS abuse of the child. I don't think he gets it.

  4. #1034
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I think he does. I think that's why he took Leah from Amber, because that's how she was abusing her. Amber never hurt Leah directly, never neglected her. It wasn't what she was doing TO her but what she was doing IN FRONT of her.

    I always felt like Amber and Gary were together because Gary felt that he should be with the mother of his child.

  5. #1035
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;4116644;
    I think he does. I think that's why he took Leah from Amber, because that's how she was abusing her. Amber never hurt Leah directly, never neglected her. It wasn't what she was doing TO her but what she was doing IN FRONT of her.

    I always felt like Amber and Gary were together because Gary felt that he should be with the mother of his child.
    I'm afraid that I have not seen Gary demonstrate that he REALLY thinks Amber's conduct is unacceptable. He constantly went back to her. He never did anything about the abuse. It was outside people who saw it on tv who reported it. So, if he were left up to him, it would still be going on. I hope protective services realizes this and doesn't allow Gary to call the shots with regard to Leah. He needs couseling and lots of education on domestic violence and parenting.

  6. #1036
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    So, we're blaming the abused one now? If you ask a battered housewife, they're not going to say it's okay for their husband to hit them, but they often can't offer a reason for why they stay.

    Evidently Gary is not with Amber now, since he has Leah, and she's not allowed to be with Amber. And several times in the last episodes of the season he threatened to call child protective services and take Leah away from Amber. That indicates he was realizing how wrong her behavior is. I think he has Leah's best interest at heart.

  7. #1037
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;4116941;
    So, we're blaming the abused one now? If you ask a battered housewife, they're not going to say it's okay for their husband to hit them, but they often can't offer a reason for why they stay.

    Evidently Gary is not with Amber now, since he has Leah, and she's not allowed to be with Amber. And several times in the last episodes of the season he threatened to call child protective services and take Leah away from Amber. That indicates he was realizing how wrong her behavior is. I think he has Leah's best interest at heart.
    I think he has Leah's best interests at heart too, but I can see where there would be concern that Gary needs help too, in order to be a better parent. I'm not sure he fully understands that he shouldn't have to put up with the abuse either and that Leah needs to see him stand up to Amber in a constructive, adult way when she lays into him. I don't see that as blaming the abused person so much as recognizing that perhaps part of the reason he's putting up with the abuse is that he either doesn't see why he deserves to be treated any better or he doesn't know how to defend himself without causing the situation to escalate. I'm sure Gary doesn't want to hit Amber, and he shouldn't, but he needs help in figuring out better ways to deal with her when she spirals out of control. In fact, I think a whole lot of people would need help in figuring out a strategy in dealing with someone who goes out of control and reacts physically as quickly as Amber does (especially now that she's had formal training in fighting and self-defense).

    If I understood what I read correctly, as a child in need of protective services, the court, technically, is in charge of Leah and Gary's custody of her is contingent on his parenting her in an acceptable manner, so it's quite possible that he may be asked to participate in some parenting classes or therapy for himself, depending on the court's evaluation of his parenting. I don't think either would hurt Gary at all, and they might just help him enormously.

    I saw an early episode of Teen Mom last week in which Amber said something to Leah like, "If you get in this kind of trouble at my age, I'll hit you." I know she meant it as a joke, but given how Amber resorts to physical violence so quickly, it scared me that it's quite possible that she might hit Leah if sufficiently angered.

  8. #1038
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    Unfortunately, according to radar.online, Leah is now back with Amber. Amber hired someone to clean up her apartment and went out and got a proper bed for Leah, and when CPS arrived for a monitored visit between Amber and Leah, it was decided that she had made sufficient changes to make her apartment an appropriate environment for Leah.

    According to the article, it's unclear whether Amber has had her custodial rights returned, but Gary was in tears when he was required to turn Leah back over to her. Earlier, Amber had thrown a hissy fit (that's mentioned in a separate article) because she wanted to see Leah on Thanksgiving and Gary wouldn't allow it, because he knew that she was only supposed to see her under the supervision of CPS and if he bent the rules, he'd lose custody of Leah. And now he's lost custody anyway, because Amber hired someone to clean up her apartment and bought a bed?

    I realize I don't know the full situation--none of us do--but a messy apartment was, and likely is, the least of Amber's problems. I truly hope CPS hasn't made a costly mistake here. They are supposed to supervise her weekly and make periodic visits, but c'mon...a lot can happen in a week. So far as we know, Gary has never posed a threat to Leah nor has he ever posed a threat to Amber in front of Leah. Amber needs time to get her own life into shape before Leah gets thrown back into that situation, regardless of how much Amber may want to be around her, and even regardless of how much Leah may miss her. I'm not suggesting they have no contact with one another. Just that Leah not be in her 24 hour care until Amber's gone through some significant therapy work. Given what we've seen of Amber, even if that's only her at her very worst, she has issues she needs to attend to before adding the stress of being a single parent on to the top of all that.

  9. #1039
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    This is sad news Tilden. I hope Leah doesn't turn up as another statistic of children who are left with abusive parents and end up hurt or worse. The actions of CPS can be very odd. And like you said, a dirty house and no bed is the least of Amber's problems. CPS is on notice. They know or should know how dangerous that woman is. If Leah is harmed, they will be responsible. Why take such a foolish chance? Go figure.

    Leah needs a guardian ad litem. She should have been appointed one in the investigation. I wonder what they have to say about this. They must be against her going back to be with Amber.

  10. #1040
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    Re: MTV's 16 and Pregnant

    I think the only thing Gary has going for him is that they are public figures (Small, but nonetheless). If Amber is getting dangerous with Leah and CPS does nothing about it initially, there will always probably be some interest in the storyline for years to come, and he can go to the media. And when I say "some interest", meaning even if it is five years from now, it is a good follow-up story for the town that they live in, where they are very well known by now, I'm sure. Remember, if it wasn't for MTV viewers continually calling and complaining, I doubt she would have been arrested. Sad to think of what could have happened to Leah and what undoubtedly happens to many children every day when there isn't a show there taping.....

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