MR. PERSONALITY FINALE RECAP- OH SWEET PRINCE I FINALLY FOUND YOU!
Hold on to your seats this week folks! Seriously, hold on so you don't fall out when you fall asleep!
COME ON BABY LETS GO TO VEGAS
For the extended overnight date (read: “is he good in bed?”) Haley and Chris Green go to Vegas. Now, Vegas can be a lot of fun and there are tons of things to do and see. I am wondering if my Green man isn't taking advantage of possibly looking for a new set up if things don't work out with Miss Haley. I am sure he was subliminally submitting résumé's at various entertainment venues in need of a hypnotist, and some convention of podiatrists will be treated to a show of “let me explain the power of persuasion *go waste all of your money at the roulette table right now* as you enjoy your stay at the Grand Illusion Hotel and Casino”.
Haley and Chris enjoy a private Vegas Show at Jubilee, first of all with Chris making a grand entrance down the stage stair case. Chris gives a classic line from "The Mask" yelling "somebody stop me", it didn't work for him but then again I was willing to stop him. Either Haley hasn't seen the movie, or she got a new subliminal message from Chris and now thinks he looks like Jim Carey.
The show girls from Jubilee put on a great show and well it being Vegas and this being FOX I sat up for a moment and thought hmmm this might turn into something here but alas it was basically a dress rehearsal with Haley and Chris watching.
After the show Chris and Haley have dinner and Chris lapses for a minute and talks about how he is playing the game. Haley awakes from the trance and sputters on about it not being a game. Chris assumes his hypno voice and lulls her back into the trance as he says he was referring to the game of life and not this situation they are in here. *you’re getting very sleepy* No, not Hayley, the TV viewing audience.
Just as Haley's eyes are starting to move in big swirly circles, a waiter appears and hands her a book. The book is Rumi some sort of quotes for life or whatever you want them to fit at that moment. Obviously Chris has a plan. The book sort of opens up to a passage and Haley reads "When I am with you I stay up all night, when I am with out you I can't sleep". Chris acts so astonished and says this is fate (remember the vulture Chris) and that is the exact passage he had planned to read to her! No way! Haley just can't believe it that he didn't mark the book or anything that it just fell to the very passage he had planned to read to her. I am sure I heard him cough into his hand as she read the stay up all night part , (cough stay up and do me, cough cough) Haley's eyes are now spinning so fast in her head I think they will screw thru her brain and shoot out the back of her head. I know mine feel like they might.
Haley and Chris retreat to their room and she talks about how much she trusts him and they are on the bed with rose petals every where and well the lights go out and we are left to wonder if he takes of his mask or just puts another one on?
The next morning Haley keeps remarking that the night was magical. Yes, I guess you could call it magic or slight of hand or side show! Take your pick!
TORTURE AND TORMENT
While Chris and Haley are out on their weekend date, Will is back in his bead thrashing and tossing and turning. He is such a tortured soul. He is so tortured in fact that during his restless fitful sleep he happened to see Chris's journal. In all his flailing about he happened upon the page with his name, and read about Chris' game plan and becomes even more tortured at the thought of his beloved Haley being manipulated by the evil sorcerer Chris.
No, it hasn't turned into fairytale theatre; I know, I know, masks, magicians, torture, princesses, and mayhem. Relax; it's just Fox and finale drama mixed up with a little creative editing. Hey, borrowing from Disney’s Bambi worked for Joe Millionaire, so why not go to that one more time this time it's Merlin and visit from Kaa the snake in the Jungle Book.
FROM VEGAS TO A HOLE IN THE GROUND
Will finally gets to take Haley on their overnight date. They go to the Grand Canyon. Ok, because visiting land marks is so romantic. Well, I saw the Grand Canyon with my parents when I was twelve and I didn't get a new sibling nine months later but ok, I am sure it can be fun.
After an aerial tour of the canyon Will and Haley retreat to a room with a fire. Sitting by the fire Will confesses he doesn't trust Chris and admits he read his journal and he is playing Haley. Haley is taken aback by the admission and her reaction is one of: OK lets move on now. She and Will kiss then move on to more intimate settings.
Back at the casa Chris is relaxing and commenting on how Will doesn't bother him at all because he treats Haley like a librarian. Yes, the obvious foreshadow man has poked his head from the bottom of the screen and given a big wave!
The setting is a candlelit bathroom, Haley is in a big tub with her back to Will and there are rose petals in the tub. Will approaches Haley with out his mask and again I am on the edge of my chair. We have a big moment I am sure, Haley is going to see Will and it will be reality show cheating! Na, Will just blind folds Haley from the back. Ties her up if you will. Then he gets in the tub and they kiss and rub cheeks. Haley makes the comment that she can't believe how intimate you can be by just touching. Because, usually you touch complete strangers that way? I am thinking being in a bathtub with another person is one definition of intimacy! I find it pretty intimate when I find another person in my bathtub. I also, find it pretty intimate when someone is kissing me and touching me. I will move on. Will helps Haley out of the tub and it is a great scene since she is blind folded Will takes his chance to totally check her out and he gives her a long look up and down.
The twosome retreat to the bedroom and I guess more unmasking, or exchanging of latex ensues. No mention of the magic.
ROCK EM SOCK EM ROBOTS
I have thought they looked like this the whole time, but now we do get a fight. Well, sort of but not really. They lead us to believe we will get one but really Will confronts Chris on why he is there. He says he read the journal and Chris thinks that is an invasion of privacy. Yes, Chris that would be one example. Then Will wants Chris to admit he loves or cares for Haley and the ever quick minded Chris realizes it will push Will's buttons not to give him what he wants. So, it ends as it started with Will hating Chris and not trusting him and Chris thinking he has managed to annoy Will.
FAMILY FACES THE MASKS
Haley's family arrives to meet the men. The family consists of mom and dad and brother and sister. Chris says he wasn't prepared to meet the folks yet (read I didn't do any subliminal prep work for the relatives) and he takes his chance to talk about he different he and Will are from each other. Chris says Will is boring he basically uses his time to talk about Will. A quick subliminal tactic I can tell, avert all attention from self and put it negatively on opponent.
Will arrives and doesn't need introductions he successfully names each person from Haley's description. He talks about his emotions and how he now believes in his heart what his head said couldn't happen, love in a short time.
Mom and Dad tell Haley that they like Chris and think she has more in common with him. Brother and Sister say they like Will because he is more emotional about Haley and they think Chris is a player. Mom thinks the masks are creepy and spooky.
WHATS ON YOUR MIND?
Haley takes a few moments in the sitting room to talk with each man. She pretty much asks Will how are you feeling? She wanted to hear the three words and she sits in uncomfortable silence till she gets them. Finally Will says Haley I love you. He seems uncomfortable but he gets it out and they hug and she walks away.
Chris gets his a few minutes later. Haley has somehow been snapped out of her swirly eye trance and asks Chris point blank if he has been playing mind games with her. He avoids the words hypnosis and mind control and tries to beat around the bush but our girl Haley shows some smarts and makes him explain. Finally he manages to wriggle out something and Haley says ok and then remarks about the passion they have and that she still feels drawn to him. Honey, it's called after effects, like when I take Tylenol PM and I can still feel it the next day. You have post hypnotic effects girl!
OH PICK ME, PICK ME!
Ok, so we are now down to the moment of truth we think. Each man will arrive to see Monica and Haley at the Gazebo. They get to make a final plea to Haley. First to arrive is Will and he takes a moment to say how he wants to love her for ever and he wants to show her something. He takes out a ring and she gasps so does Monica for effect. Then he gets on one knee and proposes. Here, Will borrows from Chris by saying "I know what you will say" see how he subliminally put the "yes "suggestion in her head? I think Haley has a nervous laughter condition because she keeps giggling and gasping. She sort of keeps a grinning open mouth carp look on her face and Monica breaks in, the ever faithful host/referee, and tells Will they will get back to him on Haley's decision. Will takes his leave. Haley and Monica stare at each other and keep deep breathing and Oh my goshing, and panting and gasping and I am reminded of a coffee shop scene from When Harry met Sally.
Chris passes Will on the way down the stairs and Will gives him a little punch on the arm. Chris then is informed by Monica this is his last plea. Chris gives his I have fallen for you speech and has loved the experience. Then he too falls onto one knee and proposes and says trust your heart. Haley starts gasping again and I guess you could say she is again repeating the scene with Monica. Again, Monica ends the deal by saying we will get back to you.
Monica shows her reality TV hostess talents by stating the obvious. She informs Haley that she must make a decision about two men she has never seen. I think Monica is good at making decisions about things she has never seen. Anyway, Haley prances off to think stating again the obvious she is torn between two men but she has to choose.
Each man is brought back in to hear her answer. Chris arrives and gets down on one knee. Is that a subliminal pose? Who knows? Haley says from the beginning she saw him in that very position but since he told her to follow her heart she is falling in love with Will. Wow, I am now thinking that Chris will hold a book burning shortly after the ceremony and is possibly seeing his motivational speaker career flaming before him. Of course little "librarian Haley" will probably not attend that book barbque. Monica gives his stats and he takes off his mask. Haley keeps her eyes shut and takes a big breath before opening them and gasping. Chris is soooo handsome!
Chris says he is disappointed but wishes her the best and then he leaves. Chris says he feels really bad right now and a little overwhelmed. I bet so, Chris, overwhelmed with the thought of re-writing that resume, job hunting, and dating again.
MY WILL, MY SWEET WILL
Will arrives and Haley tells him she feels so protected and safe with him. And that she wants to see him and do everything with him. She want to walk away with him now and that she has chosen him. Will is sooo happy. I actually was happy for him. Monica gives his stats and Haley gasps at the millionaire portion and he turns his back to Haley. As he turns around she closes her eyes, they hug and kiss and he says open your eyes. She opens them and gasps. He says it's still me, and she says its you! Haley tells him he is beautiful and she says finally I could see my sweet Will.
The camera backs away with Haley and will gazing at each other. They seem very happy and I was happy for them.
Soo it has been fun and I guess I will give a big wave and a final kiss good - bye, oops didn't mean to sling spit on you!