So I haven't actually tried these, for fear of embarrassing myself or getting in trouble, but I thought it'd be pretty funny if: (All of these are from 'Pirates of the Caribbean,' by the way, but feel free to quote from any movie )
-When asked to sign anything (form, contract, etc.) you say, "What do you say to 3 shillings and we forget the name?"
-If a boss/professor/teacher asks you to hand in your assignment, you say, "I'm disinclined to acquiese to your request."
-Screaming across the court/field at the ref, "Curse you for breathin', ya slack-jawed idiot!"
-A police car stops you and asks if you're aware that you've just broken the law. You respond with, "Laws are more what you'd call...guidelines instead of actual rules."
-You're about to be arrested and before they slap the cuffs on you, you say, "Parlay!"
-Ladies, to your boyfriend/husband while you're out shopping and about to go try on clothes in the dressing room: "Do us a favor...I know it's difficult for you...but please, stay here and try not to do anything...stupid."
-You're underage and buying a drink in a bar. When you show the bartender your ID, he/she says they cannot serve alcohol to minors; you respond with, "I'm terribly sorry. If I see one, I will inform you immediately."
-Someone asks you about your guy friend that's sitting next to you, say, "No one, he's no one. Distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch."