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Thread: Resident Evil: Apocalypse - 9/10

  1. #1
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Resident Evil: Apocalypse - 9/10



    Release Date: 9/10/2004 Action, Adaptation, Horror Rated: R Runtime: 1 hr 34 mins
    From Hollywood.com

    After escaping a secret corporate facility overrun by the undead, Alice finds herself roaming the streets in the heart of the ravaged and deserted Racoon City. She has been subjected to biogenetic experimentation by the vast Umbrella Corporation and becomes genetically altered, with super-human strengths, senses and dexterity. These skills, and many more, will be needed if anyone is to stay alive.
    Cast: Milla Jovovich , Sienna Guillory , Eric Mabius , Oded Fehr , Mike Epps , Jared Harris

  2. #2
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    You'll never convince me to pay for a ticket to this movie, but if I could see it for free I'd be really looking forward to it. The first Resident Evil movie was tediously bad, but this one looks hilariously bad. It's like the creators listened to all the feedback from the first movie and tried to improve, but made all the wrong decisions and produced something even worse.

    Critic: "You had some cool camera work last time. That final crane shot was great. Your directing's much better than your writing (that's not saying much, though)"
    Writer: "Thanks, but I'm not directing this one! I turned that job over to a guy even less experienced than me."
    Critic: "Ok....Watching Milla Jovovich kung fu fight zombies was totally unrealistic"
    Writer: "I know! But Alice has SUPERPOWERS this time! That makes it more realistic when she fights, right??"
    Critic: "Um...not really... By the way, who's 'Alice'? Was she the main character who survived? Because I don't think anybody said her name out loud in the first movie..."
    Writer: "I fixed that too! I put her name in the movie's tagline, so everyone will remember! That guy Matt from the first movie's still around too."
    Critic: "Which one was Matt? All the males in the first film looked the same."
    Writer: "I fixed that too! Now Matt's a big ugly monster! He can have superpowered fights with Milla while everyone else fights off swarms of zombies with automatic weapons! It'll be just as exciting as the video games!"
    Critic: "Huh? You never played Resident Evil, did you? There were never superpower fights or massive hordes of zombies. It was usually one or two monsters jumping out at you from around the corner. Most of the game was puzzle solving."
    Writer: "Yeah, I got stuck trying to open the door to the crypt so I just asked a bunch of 13 year olds on the internet what happens. They said I should put in more characters and scenes from the game. In the first pages of my script I list in detail the ideas I lifted from the games" - (he seriously did that)
    Critic: "So when I complain about your wooden dialogue, underdeveloped characters, painful music, cliched twists, and disoriented plot you completely ignore me. But when some kids say they want Jill Valentine in a tube top..."
    Writer: "What's 'cliched' mean?"

  3. #3
    JR.
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    It's a movie loosely based on a video game. What were you expecting, The Godfather?

  4. #4
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Oh gosh. The first one was miserable. I loved the video game though. I used to play it for hours.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

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    FORT Fanatic Blue_cool's Avatar
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    well here's a movie I WON'T be watchin' ...

  6. #6
    hee Mdrio9's Avatar
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    I actually really liked this movie...and the first one even more. I liked the action...and the gross sounds...and the scary parts. I guess I'm the weird one.

  7. #7
    Too cold to run away! Burntcrow's Avatar
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    I will watch this one too. *Runs and hides* My favorite scene from the first one was the blue lasers scene...pretty cool.

  8. #8
    Best game ever... ping007's Avatar
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    for some reason, i watched this movie over the weekend... and i DO NOT recommend it. it was cheesy from the get-go. the first RE was bad, but bearable.

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