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Thread: Tired Movie Cliches That Drive You Nuts

  1. #1
    FORT Fogey
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    Tired Movie Cliches That Drive You Nuts

    What are some tired old movie cliches that just drive you nuts? Here are few that really get under my skin.

    * When people in movies order Chinese food - they always eat it out of the container and ALWAYS use chop-sticks. Yet in real life most people just use a fork or spoon.

    * When a villian plants a hidden bomb - there is always a little digital clock attached to it counting down the seconds before it explodes. Why? Who needs to see it? Its hidden.

    * The old - I knocked the killer out, broke both of his legs, one of his arms and he lying there dead or at least unconcious - its OK for me to rest now, leave the room and leave him for dead - whoops where did he go? He was there a minute ago. Oh there he is - ready to jump on me and restart the fight. Boy he heals quickly.

    * There is a killer in my house - i checked every nook and cranny but didnt find him. Time to go get and aspirin from my medicine cabinet. Better check the bathroom though - nope, hes not there - open cabinet - close cabinet for mirror to reveal killer standing directly behind me. Boy hes quick and silent.

    * I live in New York, Chicago, LA, etc. crowded cities. Yet no matter where I go - I always find a parking space right in front of the building I need to go into.

    * In every single "road movie", the charecters travel the country in a vintage, classic convertible from the 1950's or 1960's - yet often times these charecters are pretty much broke or on the lamb. Yet, that corner "Used Car Lot" always seems to have a mint condition 1959 Pink Caddilac convertible that they are willing to sell for $100.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    What about the I love him/her but, he/she never noticed how great I am until he/she didn't get the great hot girl/guy. After that failure, he/she is no longer blind and sees the real beauty in that wallflower person.?

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    should be studying...... ravs's Avatar
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    Ok heres a few:

    - When anyone wakes up in the movies, they always look perfect. Clear eyes, nice complexion etc. Realistically people look like crap when they wake up. Also, loving couples tend to kiss after they wake up in bed. What about the bad breath??

    - If you're the central character, you will survive anything. The pyscotic killer, natural disaster, a burning building...anything!! If you're the tag along friend, the innocent bystander or the guy who drives...you will always die. Even if you're trained in the military, have weapons and you take a house wife and a bathroom salesman to an island infested with dinosaurs... you will still die. Nothing can kill the married couple. Absolutely nothing. (Jurassic Park 3)

    - You always notice during shootouts in Westerns and B grade action films, the good guy always shoot the villain, usually by the first shot. Yet the villian and his sidekicks can't shoot. Their bullets always rickashade to the side. If someone has a career in crime, you would think they could shoot accurately.

    - During a fight scene, you can always take the punches, the ninja kicks, the head butts and always bounce back. When you do the same punch to the villian, they are knocked out completely.
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  4. #4
    FORT Regular sleuth's Avatar
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    okay here's a few.

    Women who wake up with eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick on - HELLO!

    Women who get out of the shower with eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick on - HELLO!

    And anyone notice hardly anyone in movies potties? That's right the hero can go at it full tilt for two or more hours and NO bahtroom breaks.

  5. #5
    plaisirs volatils raindance's Avatar
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    So true, Sleuth and Ravs. Nobody ever wakes up looking that good. At least, your hair shouldn't be nice and shiny. It should be messy and all over the place.

    Also, loving couples tend to kiss after they wake up in bed. What about the bad breath??
    So true!
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  6. #6
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    I've been wondering about that too.

    Quote Originally Posted by eldee
    What about the I love him/her but, he/she never noticed how great I am until he/she didn't get the great hot girl/guy. After that failure, he/she is no longer blind and sees the real beauty in that wallflower person.?

    Doesn't happen much in real life. :phhht I also detest the perfect girl falls for perfect boy cliches. :rolleyes

    Quote Originally Posted by ravs
    - When anyone wakes up in the movies, they always look perfect. Clear eyes, nice complexion etc. Realistically people look like crap when they wake up. Also, loving couples tend to kiss after they wake up in bed. What about the bad breath??
    very true. HELLO. Come back to reality.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

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  7. #7
    Mikey's biggest fan Wenders's Avatar
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    I like "Well we're gonna fly our planes and attack, and every plane but the main character's will get shot down."
    ugh. I don't get time to watch TV anymore, much less hang out at the FORT.

    But don't you worry, I'll be back in full force on or about November 3rd.

  8. #8
    FORT Newbie rwaforums's Avatar
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    boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy looses girl, boy finds girl again at the end and live happily ever after.

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey candor's Avatar
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    * Phony movie gift-wrapping. The box lid is wrapped seperately so the character can just lift it off.
    * Millionaire homes. Supposedly regular folks who live in Manhattan lofts with Sub-Zero refrigerators and Wolf ranges. Same with cars and clothes.
    * Quarts of milk. Nobody, except little old ladies with a little Kleenex stuffed in their sleeves, buys quarts anymore.
    * The public confession/climax. When the man realizes his true feelings, so he races through town, finds his woman in some public place and professes his love in front of a huge crowd -- and everybody claps and cheers.
    * Gum-chewing hookers.
    * Female characters who celebrate their powerful womanhood-goddess-within by dancing around the house. (MTV did a wicked send-up of this with Lisa Kudrow playing the choreographer.)
    * Computer screens and e-mail graphics that look nothing like the applications used by, oh, the entire world.
    "If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." — Will Rogers

  10. #10
    I love Julie Chen! esmattynd's Avatar
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    This is a great thread!

    How about:

    Inevitably, any movie character driving a vehicle of any kind will spend far more time looking directly at his/her front seat passenger than looking at the road ahead. And never is there a wreck because of this!!

    Nobody ever gets hurt punching someone. Have you ever punched someone in the jaw???? It hurts!

    Hardly anyone eats in a fast food restaurant! I mean, come on, give me a Thickburger or something.

    Ok my favorite. "We'll cover more ground if we split up" My wife would not go for that in a gazillion years.

    Eric

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