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Thread: Worst Movies by Entertainment Weekly

  1. #1
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    Worst Movies by Entertainment Weekly

    two different movie critics wrote about the five worst movies of the year. i am actually shocked by a couple of these on the two separate lists, but thought i'd share the article and see what you thought.

    5 Worst Movies by Owen Gleiberman of EW:


    The Adventures of Pluto Nash - A space-comedy bomb that would hardly be worth mentioning if not for the rictus grin at its center: Eddie Murphy, doing his zomboid impersonation of a Carefree, Spontaneous Comedy Star, an act of such terrifying falseness that it has become the single most joyless image in showbiz.

    Ararat - Director Atom Egoyan has two modes: mesmeric (''The Sweet Hereafter'') and unwatchable (everything he made before ''Exotica''). With ''Ararat,'' he's back to the splintery obtuseness of his early work, relating the buried history of the 1915 genocidal massacre of Armenians by Turkish soldiers as a film wrapped inside an enigma stuffed with bad acting. Egoyan, in this avant-amateur muddle, should be found guilty of crimes against narrative plausibility.

    Death to Smoochy - Basically the world's longest ''I hate Barney!'' joke, Danny DeVito's black comedy about a deposed kiddie-show star on a rampage manages to be in your face, in your ribs, and in your vital organs without ever coming close to your funny bone.

    My Big Fat Greek Wedding - You can't fool all of the people all of the time, but Nia Vardalos comes close. What looks like a genial romantic comedy is actually the most shrill and teeth-grating ethnic sitcom of the year. Really, is this what we now want from movies -- Michael Constantine, with his cheeseburger-Zorba accent, making love to a bottle of Windex? ''MBFGW'' may have to triumph at the Oscars before people realize that there's something wrong with this picture.

    Simone - A fallen Hollywood suit (Al Pacino) creates the ultimate movie star: a computer-generated babe who wins over the entire globe because she looks and talks like...the world's most blandly generic fashion model! Since Pacino, doing about an 8 on the Al Overacting Scale, is the only person on screen to root for, the film's message about the inhumanity of perfection gets subsumed into a screw-loose celebration of that very thing.
    According to Lisa Schwarzbaum at EW, the top 5 worst movies of 2002 are:

    XXX - It's the brainless, steroidal action movie of the year! And it was made, apparently, for audiences that found old-school monosyllabic action heroes too highbrow and intellectual. As a preening Vin Diesel and his Hollywood producing posse demonstrated, thuggish charmlessness need not be a barrier to stardom.

    Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood - A syrupy chick flick that ought to hasten the death of chick flicks, particularly those based on the kind of chick lit that is itself dotty with Southern broads. This generically estrogenic production let a lot of big actresses loose in a confined space -- and left the place looking like Tara after the Union marched through.

    Collateral Damage - Speaking of monosyllabic old-school action heroes, this direct hit of a bomb marks the ignominious end of the old breed, burying a waxen Arnold Schwarzenegger in plot rubble. It also exemplifies Hollywood's complete cluelessness about whom to employ as viable new-era action villains.

    Snow Dogs - Hating a barking-bad family comedy like ''Snow Dogs,'' full of snow, doggies, and slapsticky Cuba Gooding Jr. as a black man from hot Miami out of his element in very white, cold Alaska doesn't mean I hate snow, doggies, or Gooding. It does mean, though, that I'm dog tired of movies that turn animals -- and black guys or white guys in the wrong place -- into emotional or comedic load bearers.

    A Walk To Remember - Likewise, cringing at an insipid young-adult sob-athon like ''A Walk to Remember,'' a sermon lousy with lessons about teenage modesty and the wan virtues of Mandy Moore, doesn't mean I challenge the God-given right of adolescent girls to enjoy a good, extravagant movie bawl. Rather, it means attention must be paid to our weepy girls' wits, not just their ticket-buying wallets.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey
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    Well, shows what i know because I loved My big fat greek wedding, and snow dogs and a walk to remember

    I bet vanilla sky and sugar and spice are on their best list!

  3. #3
    Smiling again... Zhora's Avatar
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    I've only seen two of these all the way through and I don't think either of them deserves a spot on the worst list. Death to Smoochy and Snow Dogs may not be great movies, but I liked them. I wouldn't necessarily recommend them to anyone, but...worst of the year? Nahhhh.
    Iím haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
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  4. #4
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    I hated Snow Dogs, I was very disappointed in it as I thought there would be more of the dogs and less of the "love my daddy" storyline.

    I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

    I'm not a fan of Atom Egoyan in general. I think I just get sick of hearing about what a genius he is from the Toronto media.
    "That's Numberwang!"

  5. #5
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Gee, I kind of liked Snow Dogs and I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding,
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  6. #6
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    I think it's always fashionable for critics to bash the movies that are popular with the public.
    The guy that criticised MBFGW,is probably still congratulating himself because he is so much cleverer than the rest of us and was able to see all the many flaws in the movie.
    Whatever :rolleyes
    "That's Numberwang!"

  7. #7
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    exactly, fluff. i LOVED MBFGW and plan to buy the dvd the day it comes out.

  8. #8
    everyone's a critic... holly71's Avatar
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    I loved MBFGW too! I hated Ya-Ya though. My mom & I walked out of it. The only other movie I saw on that list was XXX. It was no worse than your typical action flick...lots of action, poor acting, but what else would you expect? BTW, I think Vin Diesel is HOT. Some of y'all might disagree, but he is good eye candy!
    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

  9. #9
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    really? you hated ya ya? i actually loved it... watched it twice on dvd, though i missed it in the theater. however, i actually like sandra bullock. hope floats is one of my all time faves.

    had you read the book first and it simply didn't do the book justice? or was it something else?

  10. #10
    I'm a little out of tune tash's Avatar
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    A Walk To Remember deserves to be on that list. It has a predictable ending, for one thing, and the acting is just plain awful. I haven't seen any other films in the lists though.

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