Hello dear readers! Here we are again in Moleville after a double extermination as last week we said goodbye to greedy Ali and pathetic Bobby. As you may remember, Ali decided to take the greenbacks, all 30,000 of them and Bobby fainted out of the game due to malnutrition. Well, not really, he was Moliminated, but we all knew that malnutrition was going to be his downfall sooner rather than later. I could go on and tell you how all the players were shocked that two people were gone and how they will miss them, but who really cares, eh? Not me - that I can tell you.
Mission: Midas Rush
The players all load into their vans and trek up to the Andes Mountains on the Argentinean side. They arrive at the Penitentes Resort that is a mere 7200 feet high. If I remember my elementary education rightly, that’s more than a mile up, folks. And, according to San Diego living Craig, mighty cold. Host Jon lets them know that the pot stands at $129,000 and it’s time to make some more. He has them split themselves into two teams: The Selfish and the Selfless. No wonder that Nicole immediately goes for the Selfish team and is followed by Victoria, Clay and Kristen. The Selfless team has Craig, Paul, Alex and Mark. The goal is to get 5 lb gold bricks up the mountain. Each brick is worth $250 in the pot, but the first team up will receive an exemption but it is unknown if that is a team exemption or an individual one. Not surprisingly, the aptly named team Selfish decides to take fewer bricks in hopes of making it to the top first. Team Selfless decides that money in the pot is more important, so they load up as many bricks as they can. The lighter load Selfish peeps are booking it up the mountain and reach the halfway point where Jon is waiting for them. He’s standing in front of two scales and they must choose one. One weighs 10 pounds and the other weighs 20 pounds. They are not allowed to pick them up to tell which is which, but they choose the smaller and, as it turns out, lighter scale. They begin their trek up again. Some 400 yards behind them, Team Selfless is struggling under their loads, but determined to make it to the top in the time allotment. Poor Craig is doing his best imitation of a Killer Tomato and breathing heavily. All of the players are struggling a bit as the altitude makes the air less oxygenated. The reach Jon and Mark takes the scale after lightening his load by a few bricks. Team Selfish has reached the top and Jon tells them he’ll wait until the other team gets there to discuss the exemption. The Selfless team does make it, finally, even Craig. They add $9500 to the pot, while the Selfish team only adds $5750. Man, they are selfish! But they win the exemption for their team. Oh, but there is a Moley catch: only one person gets the exemption and it must be a unanimous decision or no money will go into the pot. The girls all want Kristen to get it, but Clay is adamant that he receives it. He throws a pout party until they give in or risk losing the money for the pot.
Poor Killer Tomato Craig: when they arrive back down the mountain he gets quite ill needing oxygen and a ride in the ambulance. Our fragile San Diego flower is suffering from altitude sickness and hypothermia. After a while in the hospital, he is happily ok enough to come back to the lodge as long as he stays quiet and warm for the night. The rest of the Molers go to dinner meet Jon for dinner. Before dinner begins, Jon makes them turn in their Mole notebooks and he runs away from them. As they eat, the players lament their lost notebooks and speculate on what it means. Mark looks terrified.
Mission: Who Said That?
Jon returns after dinner with their notebooks and hands them back. Victoria jokes that hers has an exemption in it (ooooh, the wily Foreshadowing Mole strikes again). Jon says first he is going to round up the pot to !44,000 and second that he thinks it’s time for a little mission called “Who Said That?” One by one, he will read a statement to each of them and they will have to guess who said it. For each correct answer, $2000 will be added to the pot. And just so they don’t get any ideas, no cheating allowed!
Victoria: “Who said at dinner, Victoria drank a lot?” Victoria says she is shocked and that it was just that one dinner and now her parents are going to think she is an alcoholic. I’m sure they already know, dear. She answers Mark and is correct.
Clay: “Very quiet. Cool guy, I like his vibe.” He answers Kristin and is correct.
Paul: “Who said they are hoping that, this time, it will work out right?” He guesses Nicole and is wrong.
Kristen: “Who said that mission one was the stupidest thing anyone ever did for money?” After an obvious coughing fit and some odd fluttering eye movements by Nicole, Kristen guesses Nicole and is correct.
Alex: “Who said ‘you are taking control’?” He guesses Mark, but is wrong.
Mark: “Who said ‘this is to easy’, misspelling the ‘too’ with only one ‘o’?” Mark immediately answers Paul and I laugh and laugh. Oh, and he was correct.
Nicole: “Who wrote Nicole is only here for fame?” Party pooper Nicole doesn’t want to play, but finally guesses Paul, and she is wrong.
As that was the last question, Jon says if anyone wants to confess they wrote that, he’ll go ahead and add the $2000 to the pot. Victoria says it was her and then apologizes to Nicole for saying it. Vicky, don’t ever apologize for speaking the truth.
Crafty Jon picked up on Nicole’s stupidity at its finest cheating episode and denies the pot the $2000 for that correct answer. But hey, they’ll get crème bruleé for dessert! Oh, and they will be taking a little drive. Hmmm, Mr. Foreshadowing, do you think something else will be getting crémed or brulleéd? Me thinks so!
Their drive takes them to a table by the river. Host Jon wants to check in with the players and see who is ready to sacrifice their journals right here, right now. Alex and Paul both volunteer their notebooks as they don’t use them much. Nicole volunteers hers as she is smelling an exemption. In confessional, Mark says no way would he give up his journal for a lousy exemption and Clay confesses the same thing. After a quick Rock-Paper-Scissors game, Alex gives his journal up. Jon then makes Alex do his dirty work and collect up the journals and place them on the nearby table. He does that and Jon lights a fuse and sends them up in a pile of flames. The players looked shocked and can’t believe it. Mark actually has a tear in his eye. He sputters about and then goes stomping off not to be found for a while. Finally, he arrives at the vans and sulks all the way home. Err, Mark? Buddy? It’s a game. It’s a game that likes to play with its players minds. You should have known this would happen sooner or later.
Finally, they are at the next Mole victim’s last supper. And cuddly Craig is back! He’s feeling better and he gets to keep his journal. Who’s with me that Mark becomes his new best friend?
1. Is the Mole male or female?
2. In the Midas Rush mission, what color pants was the Mole wearing?
3. Did the Mole’s team decide who got the exemption in Midas Rush?
4. In Midas Rush, how many bars of gold did the Mole’s team bring up the mountain?
5. From Jon’s perspective, which position was the Mole standing in at the end of the Midas Rush mission?
6. Has the Mole received an exemption yet?
7. In the Who Said That mission, was the Mole’s answer disqualified?
8. Was the Mole’s journal burnt?
9. Did the Mole confess to saying something about another player?
10. Who is the Mole?
They gather to hear the results. The Molsters hear their pot is now worth $152,000. Then Jon lets them know that there was actually a tie, so it was down to who had the fastest time. The difference was just 5 seconds. He reads off Paul, Alex and Mark, who breathes a long sigh of relief. Then he reads off Victoria, who is executed lying to rest endless theories about her being the Mole. Back to the drawing board, sleuthers! Just to let you know, I havn’t been executed yet….
Next week witness Nicole in a llama suit! Bet she finds some way to wear heels with it, just so she can complain about them. And don’t forget to read LG’s most excellent Molanalysis!