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Thread: Molar Chronicles, Week 2 - Was it Doc that died in Sleeping Beauty?

  1. #1
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    On the mat

    Molar Chronicles, Week 2 - Was it Doc that died in Sleeping Beauty?

    Each week, our writers examine a Celebrity Mole: Hawaii contestant to determine their Moliness.

    Erik Von Detten

    Erik is SO the mole
    Maybe little Erik is smarter than we thought. His un-mole like actions are possibly the most brilliant strategy ever. Throw everyone off of your trail, which leads to easy executions. He has everyone so fooled, they were willing to GIVE him an exemption, until Corbin Bernsen remembered he was supposed to be pretending to be the mole. The only thing he's done that doesn't fit this strategy is his performance in the Buried Treasure game. He knew the money wasn't in Josh Hartnett's coffin, but still let the players give up $10,000 on the chance that it was, ultimately costing $25,000 for the pot. Hey- the mole's job IS to sabotage the total, so he was making up for lost time here, since he lost no money in the first episode. Another small clue was Stephen Baldwin's execution. He obviously (according to the editing, anyway ) did not suspect that Erik was the mole.

    Erik is SO not the mole
    Erik's youth is coming out. Poor kid just doesn't know what he's doing in this game. Losing the $25,000 was just a last-ditch effort to try to throw the other celebs on his trail, in the hope that he wouldn't be excuted. I think he may be missing the point-the whole mystery part of figuring out who the mole is. The other contestants aren't supposed to know if you really couldn't do your task, or were faking it. Kathy definitely knew that Erik purposely sabotaged the Buried Treasure game to make people THINK he was the mole. However, he jumped off the cliff easily, as everyone expected he would. Erik is definitely not the mole.

    Frederique Van Der Wal

    I know Frederique is definately NOT the Mole because:

    -She ran across the hot lava rocks to retrieve that silly chicken. She did it quickly and without a single complaint.

    -She gets along with everyone and plays no mind games. How could she be the Mole?

    Frederique is NOT the Mole

    I am certain that Frederique IS the Mole because:

    -She blends into the background, She does not confront anyone about anything; appearing sweet and trustworthy. She is so smooth that no one suspects her.

    -At the graveyard when they had the chance at $25,000 she wanted to go along with Kathy and take the $10,000. Very mole-like.

    Frederique IS the Mole.

    Corbin Bernsen

    Corbin Bernsen Is The Mole. The evidence is overwhelming. There may not be as much of it as there was last week, but what there is of it is overwhelming. Trust me.

    - He was furious that Stephen Baldwin stole his notebook. He was obviously afraid that Stephen would open it and find nothing but "All work and no play makes Corbin a dull boy" over and over again in various fonts and paragraph styles. Only The Mole would be that deranged.
    - In the Jobs game, Corbin never went on his job, he only had to say what he wouldn't have done. Why didn't he have to go on his job? Bad weather. Did you see any bad weather? Neither did I.

    And most telling of all - at dinner, Corbin first said he would only vote for Erik, giving some lame rationale as to why. Then when everyone agreed to vote for Erik, he through a wrench in the works and proclaimed that he would only vote for himself. The result? $25,000 was deducted from the pot.

    Clearly, Corbin Bernsen is The Mole.

    Corbin Bernsen Is Not The Mole:
    - He could have said that he would not have been able to complete his task in the Jobs game. He's sort of a macho guy, so it was a no-brainer that everyone would think he could do it. He chose the obvious answer and made $4,000 for the team.
    - He was awesome at Underwater Charades; all his clues resulted in quick wins for the team. If he wanted screw things up, he would have stalled or been less proficient at the game.
    - He gave the team the chance to add $25,000 to the pot by giving him the Exemption. They chose not to vote for him. If they thought he was The Mole, then who cares if he got the Exemption or not? Someone else chose not to vote for him, costing the team $25,000.

    Obviously Corbin Bernsen is not The Mole.

    Michael Boatman

    Michael IS the mole. Has HAS to be the mole, because he apparently has a huge list of things that his wife won't let him do. It includes anything that being on The Mole might entail. He didn't jump off the cliff, and that cost him both his self-respect and $4,000 for the pot. He's also obviously the WORST scuba-diving charades clue-giver ever. But I was impressed that Michael's wife actually let him scuba-dive. Or maybe she forgot that one.

    Michael is NOT the mole. Clearly, we can deduce that Michael's not the mole, because if he were, he would have known what the events were, and would most likely have chosen to be a gravedigger instead of a scuba-diving charades cluegiver. And the way he asked for the reverse exemption, you can understand that he wants to get the heck out of there as fast as possible, and back to his long days of job-hunting. Let's hope his wife gave him permission to do that, at least.

    Kathy Griffin

    Kathy, girl... why not tattoo "I AM THE MOLE" on your forehead? Asking Eric if he wants help digging during the sub challenge? Way to try to slow him down. While there we were also subjected to "Confirming What Lies Beneath" "Confirming South Park". S*L*O*W going there. Oh, and "misplacing" the shovel... I just donít think so. Then lets add to that the fact that everyone on the planet knows that Kenny dies every week.... Well... obviously YOU ARE THE MOLE!

    Hmmmm, I see now why you didn't tattoo it. You can't possibly be the mole. You made it across the hot lava bed (even two of your team mates thought you wouldn't). While waiting for the movie titles, you were checking out the headstones, trying to figure out who died in which movie. That helped you out when The nimrods finally got Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Good thinking indeed. Then during the coffin openings, you really tried to stop the others from opening the last coffin going as far as to tell them you were going on record as saying they shouldn't. It is obvious to all those watching that you could not possibly be THE MOLE!

    Stephen Baldwin

    It's amazing, in the week Stephen gets executed everything he does seems so, "unmoley".

    Stephen is The Mole.

    Hmmmm, extend open hand, position around straws, clutch.

    - If the Mole has to mix things up among the contestants, then Stephen did an excellent job, in managing to annoy virtually everyone with his performance at breakfast.

    - Stole Corbin's journal with the clear intent of using the contents for espionage purposes. Damn, no, he did it to annoy Corbin.

    - Said Kathy wouldn't walk across the hot coals, when failure to do so flies in the face of her whacky on-screen persona and lost out on money for the pot.

    - He very quickly decided to go into the submarine with Fred for the charades game despite seemingly only knowing the names of movies he'd been in or Disney animations. There is no movie called "Pearl Something" or "Pearl Huh" and please Stephen do tell me which actor died in "Sleeping Beauty".

    - Tried to break the concentration of the whole group by wearing a rainbow Jesus fish t-shirt to breakfast.

    Stephen is not The Mole.

    I can state this without fear of contradiction.

    - Actually made the others stop and play smart in matching themselves to each task in the occupations game, then went on to approach his stunt with obvious enthusiasm.

    - Confronted Michael about being the only one not to add money to the pot.

    - Correctly guessed the majority of the "Occupations" stunts and did his own to add to the pot.

    - Agreed to vote for Erik to have an exemption to add $25,000 to their total.

    - Challenged Corbinís stubbornness when he changed his mind on voting for Erik as he was so concerned about adding to their cash total.

    - Flexed and preened with Corbin at the dinner table in a bid to land the title of "Most Petulant Contestant". The game appeared to be the last thing on his mind.

    - During the quiz, appeared more concerned with matching his sunglasses to his outfit than actually getting the questions right.

    So we bid goodbye to Stephen and as with Kim last week, a little bit more of the fun walks out of the game.

  2. #2
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    right behind you
    Very good stuff everyone
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  3. #3
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    I really like reading these collaborations.

    Great work everyone who contributed.
    "That's Numberwang!"

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