August 1, 2005 -- "Meet Mister Mom"
Tomorrow night at 8 on NBC/Ch. 4
WITH this, the latest, and possibly the most boring reality show in TV history, it becomes crystal clear that NBC has lost it. And they've lost it big time. Why? For thinking small time, that's why.
Even though it seemed that NBC had hit a low point with last week's phony "The Law Firm," a ratings bomb, it sinks even lower with tonight's reality stinker, "Meet Mister Mom."
This snore-fest not only sets women and men back 50 years, but expects viewers to get a kick out of watching semi-unattractive families driving around in minivans, picking laundry and dog poop off the floor, and lighting the barbecue. Now that's entertainment!
The show begins with black-and-white footage of moms in the 1950s and instead of saying how life and family structures have evolved, the snarky announcer comes on to inform us that, "While everyone talks about progress, some things never change! While Dad may work 'til set of sun, mother's work is never done!"
We're then informed of the exciting premise: Two moms get to go to a spa for five days while the hapless dads try to cope! What century is this?
The two moms - who must be seriously emotionally damaged - cry at having to be pampered at a spa for five days because it means leaving their families.
The dads and kids carry on like they've just discovered that, tragically, mom is not really going to a spa, but instead has one day to live. One dad wipes tears from his eyes, overcome with the finality of it all.
So far so bad. I felt like I was handcuffed to the fence being forced to watch my neighbors in the yard until I wanted to go postal.
Anyway, the familes were then given challenges. (Yes, that tired thing again!) First, the sleepover! Wow! Can dad handle kids sleeping over without - what? - setting the house on fire? I don't understand.
Next, each family is given a new pet: One family is given a big pig, and another a llama and goats. What this has to do with replacing mom, I don't know. When dad walks the llama, "Ain't No Woman Like The One I Got" inexplicably plays. Does that mean he'd rather have a llama for a wife than the woman he has?
Meantime, the moms arrive at a Hyatt Spa (huge and vulgar product placement, by the way) and announce that they've become instant best friends. All that's missing is Dr. Phil the gasbag saying, "You ladies bloom where you're planted!"
After five days the moms are reunited with their grieving families, and they all go to the local elementary school to see who got the highest GPA.
In the most shameful product placement ever, a man from State Farm Insurance comes on, like they do at the Kentucky Derby, and announces that on behalf of State Farm, he is proudly presenting them a check for $25,000, not to mention the gigantic logo he's holding. I half expected Smarty Jones to trot in.
This is a bomb without end. I have a suggestion however. If NBC wants to pick up their ratings, how about a reality show that pits the NBC programming geniuses against one other until none are left standing?