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Thread: 08/02 Screen caps -- Would you like some cheese with your cheese?

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    FORT Fanatic Danger Bunny's Avatar
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    08/02 Screen caps -- Would you like some cheese with your cheese?

    OK, he were are on the final episode of what's got to be the sappiest reality show I've ever had the misfortune of watching. On the bright side I've figured out what happened to the several billion tons of excess cheese produced in the US last year.

    The main players in this ridiculous melodrama are:

    Marty the Dad, a Frito delivery boy who is such a loser he has to get his daughters to pimp up a wife for him. It's not surprising he wasn't able to have a son...


    Suzanne, a.k.a the Wicked Witch of the West.


    Stacy, a.k.a. Mrs. Who Is It This Week?.


    The three evil step-sisters, I mean the three daughters. They are Brooke, Jennifer and Nicole but I have no idea which one is which, they are all controlling [bleep]es and I just don't care.


    And Lie Detector Guy II, the only guy to get out of this show not looking like a complete idiot -- mostly because he never says anything. Plus he's always impeccably dressed.


    "Suzanne, what's wrong?"
    "One minute I'm freezing the next minute I'm burning up..."
    "My mom just went through that, it's normal for a women of your age".


    "Psych. Drop out now [bleep] or I break your fingers!"
    "What did I do?"
    "I need to marry this guy, who's going to come within ten feet of me after they've seen this show?"
    "The girls like me more than they like you and Marty's too much of a wuss to make up his own mind, deal with it".


    "Since the best woman can't win, and that was Marilyn, then I want to win".


    "Back off, I know people who know Mike from FLOM..."


    "There are five women at the table, am I ever going to get a chance to say something? Who am I kidding of course not, I guess I'll just sit here and grin like an idiot".


    "Ladies, please go to the front door and get your wedding rings - and go together because there is a special surprise but it's not Lie Detector Guy this time, we promise".


    Filling the role of "cute little girl #1", straight from her family in Thialand is NBC's latest acquisition -- Tina.


    And it's Tina sister Beth as "cute little girl #2", NBC got a deal buying in bulk.


    Hands up all those who didn't see this coming, no one? That's what I thought.


    "If you and my dad were trapped in a blizzard, would give him your last freeto or would you dump his lifeless body over a cliff?"
    Where do they get these questions?


    "Off with her head!"
    "I don't think we're allowed to do that?"
    "What's this country coming to..."


    "Suzanne, are you a gold-digging skank".
    "No".


    "Hee hee hee, no one knows that these stupid little needles aren't even hooked up to anything, I can tell them anything I want and they'll believe me, hee hee hee".


    "We have... two women that are in love with Dad".
    "Are they mentally incompetent?"
    "No, just desperate".
    "I hope I'm never that desperate".
    "That's why I have cats".


    Thank God, but it's going to seem like a week...


    "I went to sleep last night with the thought that this could be my last day as a single man".
    Apparently Marty isn't too clear on the difference between getting engaged and getting married... I wonder if he has any clue that once the show wraps he can't see his betrothed for 5 months. At least he'll be clean with all the time he'll be spending in the shower...


    "When I'm with you I feel like I'm home. I could totally see myself living in this house, it's pimped".
    "Ummm, we don't really live here, it's a prop for the show. I have a double-wide back in Minnesota".
    "Well then, I hope you have a happy life".


    "That Brooke is hot, I think I'll use the old 'group hug' trick to cop a feel".


    "Marty I have a gift for you, it's not something that can be wrapped up, but it is something you'll feel every time you have to urinate. It's the gift that keeps on giving".


    "I really feel that, what's his name, your father. I feel that we've really found each other. Who's the guy on the sofa?"


    "Don't laugh, don't laugh. Control yourself, you can do it, breath deep, think of something sad, 'this is the highlight of my life', that did it here comes the tears".


    "It's hard to figure out which of these women is right for my Dad, because he's such a dull bag of sawdust. As much as I hate both of these women sticking them with my Dad is just too cruel. Not as cruel as making people watch this show, but still..."


    Look, Suzanne has clear plastic bra straps. I just feel it's important to point those out because they don't fool anyone and just look silly.


    "Seeing this just now, just turns my stomach. I've just realized what a sappy piece of crap this show is going to be..."


    "We need to talk so you're both going to be carted off to separate hotels. Only one of you will be returning to join our family [evil laugh] Ahahahahahaha [/evil laugh]".


    "Girls, I like Stacy".
    "Stop thinking with your pants Dad. You just sit over there while we discuss this".
    "I vote for Suzanne".
    "Me too".
    "And me".
    "That's settled then".
    "Girls I'm serious, I really like Stacy".
    "Dad, that's the first time in your life you've ever expressed an opinion about anything... You've really grown as a person being on this show, that's wonderful".


    "It's so hard sitting here not knowing what's going to happen, I can so picture Marty being one of my Ex's".


    "I seriously thought Marty lived in this house, since I found out he delivers potato chips for a living I haven't been able to stop crying".


    "We have to make the right decision here, so we have to ignore what Dad has said and come to our own conclusion on the important question".
    "Which woman will be easier to wrap around our little fingers?"
    "Right".


    "Suzanne, you are such a wonderful person, we love everything about you, you would make a terrific wife, we would love having you as a step mom. We really love you, that's why we can't stick you with our loser of a father".


    "Oh thank God, you had me really scared there for a moment. Marty, if I need chips at my next party I'll give you a call, tootles".


    "Were's the cow that did my hair, you can't hide forever. Come out come out where ever you are".


    "Wow, those 'ludes are really kicking in now. I'm not even upset about my hair anymore...".


    "Oh look, fairies".


    "Her lips are moving but all I can hear is, whaa whaa whaa whaa whaa, cool".


    "No, no, no, no. I have to keep him? Are you kidding me?"


    "I can hardly wait to meet your best friend and my sixth husband".


    "Is now a good time to tell you I have a daughter?"


    "With all that botox I don't know face could light up like that".


    Oh thank the lord...
    Last edited by Danger Bunny; 08-05-2004 at 03:37 PM. Reason: Took out a potentially naughty word...

  2. #2
    what are you watching? iguanachocolate's Avatar
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    DB, I had to close my office door so nobody would hear me laughing my a$$ off!

    And, btw, I would like to thank you for that as I have been trying to lose at least half my a$$ for quite some time, now....

    IC

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    FORT Fanatic Danger Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iguanachocolate
    And, btw, I would like to thank you for that as I have been trying to lose at least half my a$$ for quite some time, now....

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    Thanks SOOOOO much, DB ... worth the wait (and the torture you went thru ... but you'll recover i'm sure!) .. now maybe i can get back to my online course studies .... by the way .. Amazing Race is not even half over this round - still time to do caps ... some very interesting characters this time!!! (come on, DB, with all the time you'll have on your hands not watching WWTMMD and FLOM, you'll be in withdrawal! ... don't make me beg!

    PT

    p.s. i'll be looking forward to your FLOM finale caps ...
    Last edited by pteney; 08-05-2004 at 04:04 PM.

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    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Loved all the recaps, but my two top favorites:

    "The gift that keeps on giving"!!!!! That made me burst into laughter!

    "Back off. I know people who know Mike from FLOM."

    Gad, Marty really looks 'stretched tight' in these stills. Wow. It's amazing he can even move his lips!

    I knew you'd get some good shots of Suzanne -- she makes the weirdest expressions sometimes. And Stacy, my God, there's just nothing I can say about her. Your captions caught the drugged state she was in perfectly with three words, "oh look, fairies"!!

    You are the master, DB!
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

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    unce,tice,fee tinesa mady strawberieblond's Avatar
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    I'm SOOO glad you decided to relent and take a big giant one for the team and do the screencaps.....friggin hilarious as usual! I love this board but I will frankly admit that they are my very favorite part of it. Great job and a multitude of thanks!
    Cake or Death?

  7. #7
    It's all a Mystery to Me KaiCee's Avatar
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    Thank you for the screencaps, Danger Bunny!! And your captions! I laugh so hard when I read the things you write...I know I'm not alone when I say I REALLY appreciate the time you put into giving us these screencaps! Thanks again
    When you learn, teach. When you get, give. ~ Maya Angelou

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    Crystal Allen
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    I thought Stacy's facial expression was saying

    "I'm trying so very hard to not fart right now."

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    FORT Fogey AIWANNABE's Avatar
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    So happy you did these DB, they are great!

  10. #10
    FORT Fanatic Danger Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roseskid
    And Stacy, my God, there's just nothing I can say about her. Your captions caught the drugged state she was in perfectly with three words, "oh look, fairies"!!
    That's one of the lines I knew I wanted to use before I capped the first image (actually it was 'oh look, birdies' originally, but fairies is so much better). I originally had it stuck to the end of the previous picture (where it didn't work all that well) but then I saw Stacy's eyes drift off to the left and it was just a perfect match. It's funny, when I start capping I know some of the captions I want to use and it's just a matter of taking the picture. Other times I just can't find the right image for a caption so it get's stuck onto an image were it just doesn't work all that well or it gets dropped completely. Sometimes the image is so good it demands a caption but I just can't think of anything for it, other times I take one look at the image and the caption almost writes itself.

    Then there are the jokes I want to use but forget about, for example in this week's episode I wanted to squeeze out a couple of fart jokes but I forgot all about it until it was mentioned here. Then there are all the captions I would love to use but can't because of the PG13 rating of the board, but it's just as well I don't use them -- I'd probably get cyber-slapped into next week if I did.

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