Before I get started I just have to point out that Marty has given control of his love life to the three people in the world, his daughters, who are the most grossed out at the idea of him having sex... he's apparantly not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Before we get to the screen caps, let's recap what happened last week. At the end of the last episode the girls had just dropped a bombshell -- at the end of the show Marty wouldn't be getting engaged to one of the women, they'd be getting married. This episode picks up at that point...
"We're sleepy, plus we can't act".
"It's no problem ladies, I got married in only three weeks before, and look how well that worked out -- oh wait!"
"We're like super spies. The women have no idea that we're able to watch them, they're being completely open and honest".
I guess they they think the ladies won't notice the camera crews...
"What do we know about him?"
"The important thing is we know he's got some money if he was able to put three girls through college".
"They're all willing to go through with it, our dad could be getting laid in a couple of weeks".
"Our plan for a dramatic running away failed, so we're dropping the marriage bit".
"Plus the thought of our dad getting some kept us up all night".
The first fantasy date -- shopping for wedding gowns.
The dresses, there isn't much to say about the dresses except I doubt any of them should be wearing white...
Melanie -- those catsup stains will clean right up.
I don't know if I can adequately explain to the women reading this, just how scary this image is to us guys...
The fake cop shows up and I thought it was time for the bachelorette party
And the chicks get out of another traffic ticket, life is so unfair -- I never get out of traffic tickets, even when I cry like a little girl.
And it's Nicole that's elimidated, I think the news aged her 20 years.
The ride of shame. Note the hair colour of the women in the taxi -- did the producers think we wouldn't notice?
I want to take this opportunity to say that I have no sympathy what happens to the people on reality TV shows, they made their bed they get to sleep in it. But that was just mean.
There once was a guy named Marty
"What rhymes with Marty, other than Farty?"
[Australian Accent]That's not a tuxedo...
That's a tuxedo![/Australian Accent]
"Blah Blah Blah Blah..."
There's probably lot's of stuff to make fun of in the vows, but I fast forwarded through it all....
"We had to eliminate Nicole during our shopping trip, but I have good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance".
"The winner of the private date is..."
"Sorry Ladies he's mine!"
"What! But I called it"
"Woo Hoo, I'm gonna get me some Marty lovin'".
On tonight's menu is, Lobster...
And cold pizza.
"We want your opinion so we know what we're ignoring".
This has got to be the worst fake lightning I've ever seen...
"Marilyn and Melanie, please go to the piano".
[Sarcasm Mode=Full] Lie Detector Guy! What a shocker, I sure didn't see that coming.[/Sarcasm Mode]
"If you marry my Dad would you pay off my debts?"
"I guess I'll have to go back to plan A -- find a Sugar Daddy".
"Melanie, can you cook?"
"Damn, I guess it'll be Chinese for Christmas dinner again..."
"We couldn't decide who to eliminate, so we flipped a coin".
"Melanie, you are dead to us!" -- oops, wrong show.
The walk of shame... she'll never get her deposit back on the dress after dragging it around on the ground like that.
"I have to show Marty [censored]".
"I would make a wonderful wife, look what I can do with my hair!"
"I love Marty. Not like, I love Marty, but like I love Marty. And I love his girls, not love them, love them. I... can I start that again?"