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Thread: 7/5 recap: "The Great Skeet-Shoot of Love"

  1. #11
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Soon, I hope to get so good at stamp-collecting that I can leave off and return to methodical shoe-shopping.

    But Marty is taken aback. “The last thing I want is a stalker,” he says, in a helpful, just-clearing-that-up sort of way

    Either we missed something here, or these daughters get their exercise through enormous leaps of imagination.

    She spent a week in a rented house with a bunch of strangers competing for the Hair Club for Men poster boy. If that is the highlight of your life, it is time to get out of the house more.

    This is not April Fool’s, is it?” Marty asks. No, Marty, although that would be an appropriate date for your birthday.
    Wonderful job, Lucy.
    You always have me laughing
    "That's Numberwang!"

  2. #12
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    I laughed like crazy over the image of someone catching you taking notes for this show. Loved the entire thing. Here are a few of my favorites:
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy
    Even a burglar would have to have second thoughts about robbing someone with such taste in TV.

    Judging from their shooting, he will be fine. It’s the people on the sidelines who should be worried.


    “The last thing I want is a stalker,” he says, in a helpful, just-clearing-that-up sort of way.

    Everyone cries, the daughters talk about how much they like her (but not so much they won’t kick her to the curb), sappy music is played, love is gushed, puppies are born, babies are cooed over, and my blood sugar skyrockets by osmosis.


    Men, please take note. An appliance is most emphatically NOT an appropriate gift. It is a purchase. An investment, if you will. Not something you buy as a present. (By the way, neither is a shower head. I speak from experience here.) My college roommate dumped a boyfriend who got her a CD rack for Valentine’s Day. My mother says she knew a particular man didn’t have romantic feelings for her when he gave her a cheese ball for Valentine’s. Cheese balls, CD racks, shower heads – they all send a message, gentlemen. And that message is, “if that’s my gift, you’re not getting laid tonight.”
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  3. #13
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    lucy, thanks for sharing your hilarious thoughts with us. I hope your visitor doesn't just walk in on you again, though. That'd be just a little scary to me! taking notes or not! Have a great vacation!!

  4. #14
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Lucy, hilarious job, m'dear! Loved it. You always do a wonderful job. I'm having the same pictures in my head as Star mentioned!

    Lots o' quoteworthy gold:

    Soon, I hope to get so good at stamp-collecting that I can leave off and return to methodical shoe-shopping.

    While I did not come near shooting the skeet, I also did not shoot him. I consider it a win-win experience.

    The Foam Finger of Discord

    Anyway, Marilyn feels ganged-up on, which is the usual feeling after one has been ganged up on by three people with enormous foam fingers.

    Cheese balls, CD racks, shower heads – they all send a message, gentlemen. And that message is, “if that’s my gift, you’re not getting laid tonight.”

    My understanding of fate is not that it just does what you want it to do.

    . . . if I were trapped in an elevator with this stuff playing, I would claw my way out and fling myself down the shaft.

    My parting gift to the rest of you is a word of advice: lock. Your. Doors.

  5. #15
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy

    Even a burglar would have to have second thoughts about robbing someone with such taste in TV.

    But at least the dude at the door did not see that I was taking notes.

    You Look Awful Purty With That Gun in Your Hand

    Yeah, I take long breaks from my favorite hobbies all the time, just so I can get more practice in on the hobbies I despise.

    Judging from their shooting, he will be fine. It’s the people on the sidelines who should be worried.

    While I did not come near shooting the skeet, I also did not shoot him. I consider it a win-win experience. As should he.

    Bad Skeet! Bad!

    “The last thing I want is a stalker,” he says, in a helpful, just-clearing-that-up sort of way.

    I don’t find ketchup at all appealing, but I have been known to eat pizza sauce out of the jar, so what do I know.

    Either we missed something here, or these daughters get their exercise through enormous leaps of imagination.

    In a rather Ross-Geller-like manner, all the daughters hear is “divorced three times.”

    and my blood sugar skyrockets by osmosis.

    The Foam Finger of Discord

    Continuing the games-that-are-even-worse-than-those-played-at-baby-showers,

    Anyway, Marilyn feels ganged-up on, which is the usual feeling after one has been ganged up on by three people with enormous foam fingers.

    Put Him Back In the Cake!

    (By the way, neither is a shower head. I speak from experience here.)

    No, Marty, although that would be an appropriate date for your birthday.
    Oh Lucy, my favorite thing, always, are your sub-headings. Those puppies are gold! Another fantastic recap!! Love your take on the romance shows...priceless!! I laughed, I cried, I was delighted you locked your door. Great, stellar, fantastic job!!!

    And speaking of interesting gifts, oh I can talk. Oh..yes..I can. I will not list them all, but once I received a Metallica CD. For an anniversary. Because nothing says I love you like, "Ride the Lightning" played at really, loud, pulsating volumes.

    Fantastic job!!!
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  6. #16
    FORT Newbie RubyStar's Avatar
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    a stranger opened my apartment door by mistake... I was mostly embarrassed. Because the cheesy lines of “Who Wants to Marry My Dad” were blaring on my TV. This stranger – who is probably a friend of my neighbor -- could have heard such gems as “Would you still love our dad if he gained 50 pounds?” and “It was fate to me, and fate has let me down.” No wonder he scuttled away. Even a burglar would have to have second thoughts about robbing someone with such taste in TV.

    But at least the dude at the door did not see that I was taking notes.

    Suzanne’s naughty secret is that she had to erect a privacy fence because she’s fond of lounging in her Jacuzzi in the nude. You can practically see the drool at the corner of Marty’s lip.

    Stacy, it turns out, has been divorced three times. Defending herself, she clarifies that she married one man twice. In a rather Ross-Geller-like manner, all the daughters hear is “divorced three times.”

    Continuing the games-that-are-even-worse-than-those-played-at-baby-showers, the group then moves on to a “point the finger” game.

    They choose Sharon and Marilyn to help them wheel out an enormous fake cake, out of which – in a moment that could forever ruin for me the idea of sexy naked people jumping out of cakes – leaps Lie Detector Man. He points the polygraphic finger of doom at the two women and demands they come with him.

    My mother says she knew a particular man didn’t have romantic feelings for her when he gave her a cheese ball for Valentine’s. Cheese balls, CD racks, shower heads – they all send a message, gentlemen. And that message is, “if that’s my gift, you’re not getting laid tonight.”

    My parting gift to the rest of you is a word of advice: lock. Your. Doors. Because it’s only going to get cheesier from here.
    Hilarious recap that caused me to laugh out loud many times. You are an awesome writer! Have a wonderful, relaxing vacation.

  7. #17
    One Step Shy of Sanity Where'smyMidol?'s Avatar
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    OMG
    Thank God for TiVo....

    "It's Nothing Personal. It's just business..." - Donald Trump

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