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Thread: MMF1 episode 1 Blankenships

  1. #1
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    MMF1 episode 1 Blankenships

    Episode 1

    Sorry for the length guys ">
    Meet the Folks. Just another show? More hot young people in thongs? More backstabbing, lying, and cheating? Was I up for it? Could I invest myself in another show?
    To answer my questions…. No, no, no, yes, and I didn’t have too! A brand new show each week, new people, NO INVESTMENT "> I like it already.

    The premise of the show: Three young single guys (and I assume it will always be this way, but I’d like to see it reversed), are vying for a week long vacation with a young single woman. Sounds familiar, I know… but this show has a twist. The guys get to spend the weekend at the young woman’s house. Share a room (with each other, not the babe) and get quizzed by her parents, who in the end, get to choose which hot stud takes their daughter to Hawaii.

    Last night we were introduced to the Blankenships. Now I missed the first few minutes, so bear with me here. As far as I know the parents were and will always be known as Mom and Dad. I don’t know what Mom does or did for a living, and from comments made later in the show, I’m guessing Dad is a football coach. These two met, got married, had a beautiful little girl, and named her Senta?

    Sorry, this is long already! We meet the guys:
    Kory ~ hmmm, he’s cute I guess. Nice beautiful blue eyes, dark hair.

    Jason ~ Now look at this guy.. he looks like Tom Cruise. Yes! Then he opened his mouth…hmm interesting teeth. OK, well still looks like Tom from some angles. Then he speaks “Well, in the looks department, I have this one made” "> He sounds like he has a permanent cold. I can’t stand him already.

    Chris ~ Blonde. I’m not a big fan of blonde haired guys. Ah, let me re-phrase. I am not attracted to them in any way that could possibly, errrrrrr. Excite me. How’s that? You see I can find them handsome, (My bro and dad , both extremely nice looking men), but Chris? I’d have to wait and see.

    So far we have found out that out of something like 400 work days, Jason was late 320 times "> Kory purposely forgets his wallet on dates, so the girl has to pay. Chris hides in his bedroom closet and makes his mom tell the girls at the door to go away, if he doesn’t want to see them.
    Dad says to mom (privately) that he wants 3 new guys, they are 0 for 3 at this point. He doesn’t like a single one.
    The guys go to their room and receive a FAX. They must each choose one of the following to do at dinner. One must belch loudly 3 times, on must wipe moms mouth with a napkin 3 times and the other must take 3 bites off of dads plate. If Senta or her parents find out this is part of the game each contestant will have 3 more embarrassing facts revealed about them. Kory volunteers to eat off dads plate, Chris takes the mom and Jason settles on burping. I know that there are writers here who could describe this scene to you. Have you wondering whether or not Kory would make it through dinner with out a fork jabbed into his neck. Whether Chris would completely freak mom out, and get a nice smack across his rather looooong face. And well, no one cares whether or not Jason burps or not. But alas, I’m not that writer, so next time watch the show "> They make it, so no more secrets…yet. Mom and dad even receive a FAX telling them that the guys “had” to do this. Last night I was glad, I was embarrassed for the guys. This morning I’m a grumpy bitch who thinks it would have been funny if the parents never found out.

    The four young people get into the pool after the folks go to bed. There’s mom and dad reading in bed, when they get another FAX. “It is totally up to you, but if you’d like to check on Senta turn on your TV. Of course they do, just in time to catch the truth or dare game. Chris has turned it into Dare or Dare and proceeds to dare her to “give us a lap dance, well, not a lap dance, but stand here and pretend to strip. You don’t really have to strip” I’m not sure he got through this whole sentence before dad was grabbing his robe.
    “No, honey” pleads mom “Wait, wait to see what she’ll do”
    yeah, he waits, long enough to see his little girl give Mr. Horny a lap dance. He then yells something down to them from the balcony. I miss what he said as I’m laughing too hard, but this was pure enjoyment!

    Dad wakes them at 6am to take them out for exercise. He gives them 4 minutes to get ready, and they’ve wasted 30 seconds looking at him and saying “whaaaaa…where…”
    It’s fun to watch dad put these guys through his little football work out. He is starting to like Jason.

    Back home for bacon, eggs and ex girlfriends. We learn that both Chris and Jason have cheated on their girlfriends. Jason 4 times that he admitted too, and Chris with his GF’s friends friend, or something Kory, well, he hung out with two bad kids in high school? Is that all she’s got? Hmmmm.

    Now Senta gets to go on a date with each of them. Kory takes her to some natural hot spring place. Yeah, "> it could have been the place, it could have been the company, either way it was a snorefest.
    Jason takes her to do yoga. It’s odd, and I’m disturbed byu some of the images that are burned onto my mind. Then to make things worse, they are in an interesting position, her face is dangerously close to his nether regions and he charms her by asking “If I pass gas with you catch it”
    Chris takes her out to dinner and dancing. It’s a nice date. They look nice dancing together.

    Now it’s SHOW AND TELL.
    Chris shows his college diploma, he’s the first in his family to get one. This scores points with Dad. It only takes one to break the cycle. He’s impressed.
    Kory, Kory, Kory man. You just didn’t do your best tonight, you’ve kind of got the look, but you hit lots of false notes, Paula what do you think, I agree Randy …Oops sorry! Kory sang.. I was embarrassed for him… but I hadn’t seen Jason with his show and tell yet.
    Jason brings a native drum that comes “from my tribe the (Reads phonetically off a card hanging on drum) It means a lot to me” He then proceeds to play the drum. My Mom has about 12 drums like that. most made of deer skin, some buffalo, some sheep. She has given my daughter lessons. The reason I bring this up is because it actually is more exciting than trying to write about Jason at this point.

    Saved by the (door) bell. Mom actually says “That doesn’t mean you’re out of time, it just means there’s someone at the door” The others all shoot her looks, and if looks could even wound slightly this woman would be dead. It’s UPS bringing videos muhahahahaha.

    Video one Kory’s highschool “friend” “Hi I’m somebody, a teacher some where and I wanted to let you know that Kory got into Penn state because he cheated off my SAT “
    Ooooh, slid down a notch in dads book.

    Video two is another of Jasons ex’s “hi, Jason likes to be spanked with a paddle”
    Oooh slid down a notch in moms, dads, AND sentras books.

    Video three. Hi I’m Chris’s Best Friend and thought I’d repay him all his kindnesses, and show what a true-blue friend I am by revealing that he says he slept with his ex’s mother, ask him, if he’s lying his hands will cover his face and he’ll laugh and giggle”
    Geez, that’s a hell of a best friend eh?

    FAX~~ Eliminate a guy now. Buh- bye, Jason. He actually thinks it’s because they are intimidated by him. Me think he smokem peace pipe and is now little dillusional man.

    THE GARAGE. So Kory and Chris have made it this far. One more test… The commercials don’t lie…it’s the polygraph ">

    Kory’s questions (all asked by Dad)
    1._ _ _ _ Do you like me? Yes ~ LIE
    2._ _ _ _ Do you think you’re smarter than me? No ~ LIE
    3._ _ _ _ Did you cheat on a test in college? No ~ LIE
    4._ _ _ _ Did you kiss my daughter passionately this weekend? Yes ~ True
    5._ _ _ _ Do you respect women? Yes ~ True
    6._ _ _ _ Did you bring condoms this weekend? No ~ LIE
    7._ _ _ _ Are you planning on trying to sleep with my daughter in Hawaii? No ~ LIE

    Chris’s questions (Again all asked by Dad)
    1._ _ _ _ Would you like to have me as a father in law? Yes ~ LIE
    2._ _ _ _ Have you flirted with my wife this weekend? No ~ TRUE
    3._ _ _ _ Have you lied to my daughter? No ~ LIE
    4._ _ _ _ Do I bore you at times? Yes ~ TRUE
    5._ _ _ _ Did you kiss my daughter this weekend? Yes~ TRUE
    6._ _ _ _ Have you said you love a woman just to sleep with her? Yes ~ TRUE
    7._ _ _ _ If I asked you not to sleep with my daughter in Hawaii, would you respect my wishes? Yes ~ LIE
    8._ _ _ _ Have you ever slept with an EX’s Mother? No ~ LIE

    It’s time to choose. These loving parents send their daughter away with a guy who cheets on his GF’s, apparently sometimes with their mothers, who admittedly lied to her this weekend, who plans on sleeping with her, and when he’s bored with her he’ll have his mommy tell her he’s not home… but that is definitely better than cheating on your SAT’s… So she’s off with Chris for a fun filled week in Hawaii.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  2. #2
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    I was just flicking through the recaps, getting in the mood for the new series.
    I had to mention the quote below as it was my favourite part of the whole series.

    Jason brings a native drum that comes “from my tribe the (Reads phonetically off a card hanging on drum) It means a lot to me” He then proceeds to play the drum
    The looks on the faces of the others were priceless
    "That's Numberwang!"

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