MMF Episode 3 (Insert funny title here)
Q ~ How long will it be before I see an ENTIRE episode of Meet My Folks?
A~ I have no clue, but it’s bugging the crap out of me!!
Yes, everyone, I missed the beginning again. I tune in in time to see our three potentials receiving their fax with directions on what they must accomplish at dinner. I know dad's a drill sargeant from the ads. I know someone has a mystery occupation too... I just have no clue as to what the heck it is ">
We have Jonathon, Amir, and Darrien. So far for me Darrien is in the lead, only because I can tell him apart from the other two.
Amir agrees to drink moms drink TWICE, as Jonathon agrees to put Ketchup on moms plate TWICE.
All Darrien has to do is spill his full drink twice in dads direction.
Well, Jonathon decides that instead of opening the top to pour the ketchup, he should take the top OFF and completely drown everything on moms plate, and I believe her salad too! Dad thinks it would be a good idea for Jonathon to eat the salad.
Amir thinks he’s slick as he drinks moms drink. Thinks no one will notice as he gets up, walks around the table, stands next to dad and drinks. As he sits down and is asked to explain himself he acts innocent and says “Oh… that was her drink”? How he did that with a strait face is truly beyond me. He actually succeeds in drinking the second of the two required drinks, and dad is getting pisseder and pisseder!
The drinks never get spilled, so we learn that Darrien asked his ex girlfriend to shave and wax his entire… yes his entire body, as he looks better naked that way
6AM SATURDAY MORNING
Dad, being the quintessential drill sergeant, bursts in at 6 to have these guys run a quick obstacle course. WOO HOO!
Carry a log (This is not a log that will fit into the average fireplace or wood stove. This is a 4 foot long, 2 foot in diameter, Western Red Grand Oak) Yeah, like I have a clue! It was a pretty big log.
Drop it by the tires and do the run through the tire section that no obstacle course is complete without.
Run on the ZIG ZAG low balance beams
Drag some weighted bags
Do some push ups
Run backwards through some cones
Do the Army Crawl under a low wooden frame
Slip, Trip and Fall. Oh wait, that’s not actually part of it. My bad.
Crawl the last few feet Jeez, AGAIN, that’s not an actual part of the course ">
Jonathon wins ">
BREAKFAST WITH THE EXES
JONS EX: He’s not normal. Takes her out while dressed as a big bear, Spiderman, or in his bright PINK fur coat. (Jon informs us in confessional that PINK fur is really warm….)
DARRIENS EX: He was always very late, as it took him forever to get his clothes picked out, and make sure his hair was fluffy enough.
AMIRS EX: She never got to go into his house. At times had to sit and wait in the car for half an hour as he got ready ">
Jaimi and Amir ~ They take a nice walk through the Botanical Japenese gardens. They stop and eat Sushi, which has been pulled out of a pic nic basket. Now I’m not much of one for raw fish, but raw fish that has been carried around in a basket for a while??? ">
She enjoyed herself, but he wasn’t as “exciting” as she would have liked.
Jaimi and Darrien ~ They received dancing lessons. Not something I would have chosen for a first date, although after 17 years with my hubby, I might go now. I think they had a good time though. She thought they looked cute together.
Jaimi and Jonathon ~ They went to Bambi’s House Of Pleasure to learn how to give each other a nice massage. ***It may have been called something else, but it sure seemed like it could be called Bambi’s…..
TIME FOR SHOW AND TELL
Darrien is sure he’s scoring points with a picture and a rag. OK, there’s more to it. It’s a pic of his musician grandpa and his dad. He was reunited with Pops at the funeral for Gramps. All he has left of gramps is the rag he uses to wipe off his guitar after playing.
Ahhh. Dad smiles ">
Amir brings a medal he received for mentoring a child. Says it was a great experience, he learned as much from the kid as the kid learned from him. Ahhh, everyone smiles.
Jonathon brings his journal from college. He reads a passage about his mom
DING DING DING we have a winner!
I make light of it, but it was actually quit touching. Mom cries, dad softens and Amir and Darrien silently curse him.
DING DONG The VIDEOS
No time to get all sentimental about the show and tell items as the revealing videos have arrived.
We hear from Amir’s cuz, who lets us know that Amir has problems breaking up with girlfriends, so when he tires of them, he just stops bathing. Since he works in a fish market, it doesn’t take long ‘till the girls barf on him and never call back.
Next we have Jons cuz,. He is absolutely giddy as he informs us that Jon used to teach grammer school and was fired after letting out a stream of curse words at his students. Jon says he quit, but really was it about the firing or the cursing there jon?
Darriens mom is on the next video. She tells us about when her Darrien lived at home a while back. He was on the phone constantly. Moms all happy and gushy, talking about how “special” this girl he’s talking to must be. Her Darrien has found some lucky girl.
And then the phone bill arrives. Her precious little boy has racked up over a grand calling 1-900-sex-4you.
Jon and Amir are high-fiving each other. Darriens claiming it was normal teenage lust stuff. **Note to self… I have 2 teen boys, time to lock the 900 numbers**
ONE MUST GO
Jonathon is a little worried. Amir is clueless. Darrien is sure he will stay.
I have diagnosed him with “Justin’s big hair cockiness syndrom” also known as JBHCS, as of this writing there is no cure. It’s a shame really, and someone should fund a study.
Yeah… sex call boy is outa there. Buh Bye "> I’m feeling ok about this, as by now I can tell Jon and Amir apart ">
WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS
Dad wears short shorts. They go for a fun little early morning jog. Dad’s singing a catchy little “count off” marine jogging song, which ends with “If you treat Jaimi wrong, then you are gonna die”
Getting close to pickin’ time. Mom and Dad ask Jaimi. She likes Jonathon. She has a better time with him, and he makes her laugh. I guess a pink Fur coat would make me laugh too… only it would be AT and not WITH ">
First up is Amir.
1. Do you respect the USMC?……………………. YES…………….. TRUE
2. Are you afraid of me? ………………………….. YES……………..TRUE
3. Did you lose a scholarship due to poor grades?… YES…………..…TRUE
4. Did I over react at dinner?…………………..…. NO…………….. LIE
5. Would you be faithful to Jaimi if dating?..……. YES…………… LIE
6. Are you pretending to care for J just to win?….. NO………………..TRUE
7. Will you try for Sex if you win?………………. NO………..…… LIE
Next up is Jonathon.
1. Do you like me?…………………………….… ……….... YES……TRUE
2. Did you pick a flower from neighbor, for wife?…………. YES…….TRUE
3. Were you kicked out of nightclubs for touching women?.. NO…. LIE
4. If you lose will you stay in contact with us?…………….. YES…. LIE
5. Were you FIRED for cursing at the kids?……………….. NO….. LIE
6. Did you kiss Jaimi this weekend?……………………….. YES….TRUE
I mention the amount of lies, only because Pop’s tells us that he and mom are going to choose based on who was more honest. I will have to assume that there were questions asked that we the viewers just never got to see!
Now remember Jaimi likes Jonathon. The parents, wanting nothing but happiness for their child do the right thing and pick Amir!