I had finally overcome the withdrawal symptoms of being without “Who Wants to Marry My Dad?” for the past two weeks, and now they throw a reunion special at us. All that hard work for nothing. (I know, the sarcasm is a bit much).
The show opens in a studio with Mario Lopez as our host. Now I definitely remember Mario as Slater on “Saved by the Bell”, but this guy has somehow become the host of all reality shows now. What happened to him? He’s a good-looking guy. Why the need for this? Anyway he informs us over 11 million people tuned into the last episode, which prompted NBC to get more ratings by having a reunion special. He also tells the audience there will be a special surprise at the end of the night. What could this be? Is Christena pregnant? Will there be a “Who Wants to Marry Heidi?” show now? How will I sit through the hour waiting for this announcement?
Mario introduces the kids. They join him on stage and discuss a little about the show, and then Mario introduces all the lady contestants. I notice there are seven women that come out. Now if I recall correctly, there were nine, so with Christena out I notice the first woman eliminated was not there. I believe her name was Kristy (not the beauty pageant Christy). I wonder if NBC automatically didn’t invite her or if she opted not to show. I guess it’s not the most complementary thing to be the first one eliminated on a dating show. Anyway, the ladies all hug the kids and Don, and clips are shown of the show. Mario asks Christy if she enjoyed the way things were portrayed, and she responded saying she would have definitely been more cautious. Ahh, hindsight is 20/20 Christy.
Then the two most important people are introduced, and Don and Christena come out holding hands. I immediately look to see if she is still wearing the ring. After a few hugs, I notice it on her hand when she was sitting down with Don. I’m somewhat surprised by this for some reason. I guess I don’t expect any relationship based on an unrealistic TV event to ever make it. Anyway, we then look at an overly cheesy clip that shows the romance that blossomed between Don and Christena. Don says the show accelerated everything because they spent 24 hours a day with one another and also got to know bad facts that probably might never have been mentioned.
Christena then mentions she feels blessed to have met Don’s kids. We are then taken to a clip of Christena mentioning she would like Don and his family to meet her kids. Don promises it will happen some day. Mario says it’s time for Don to live up to his promise and Christena’s kids, Ashley and Joe, come out. They are two kids probably in their early teens. They hug everyone including Don’s kids. Don tearfully tells them their mom is absolutely wonderful and thanks them for sharing her with them. Christena’s son says he is glad they could see how wonderful their mom is while Christena’s daughter is glad to finally meet them all. For some reason, after those eloquent words the kids then leave the stage and do not come back.
We then hear the dreaded FAX machine once more. Drama ensues as everyone is wondering what it could possible be. Mario goes and grabs the message, which tells us we have to go to commercial. How witty and funny.
We come back from the break and talk to each of the ladies about their elimination. There are clips of Carol and her racecar moments, along with her saying she is now “street legal”. She mentions she was just being playful and some find that intriguing, but obviously those on the show did not. Next they show the clip of the kids flipping the coin to decide whether to eliminate Patty or Joanne. Patty mentioned she felt really bad when she was eliminated, but once she saw it was based on a coin flip she realized it wasn’t anything personal. Joanne mentioned she was shocked when she found out and was glad she didn’t know because it would have made her self-conscious. We are then shown the clip of Kathy eliminating herself from the competition because she wanted to have children, but Don did not. She says she does not regret making her decision. Then we see the clip of Lori’s exit through the magic trick. She mentions it was the coolest way to leave and she’s thankful she didn’t have to make the walk of shame.
Then we get to Cynthia. I’m giving her a whole new paragraph because she literally had a segment to herself. One would have thought she won. She hugs everyone and sits near Don and Christena. They show clips of her time on the show along with her elimination, which brings Cynthia to tears. There’s truly nothing like being humiliated on TV and have to sit next to the guy you humiliated yourself over. We can see Don feeling uncomfortable as they show the clips of him telling his kids he really wasn’t feeling the chemistry with Cynthia. Cynthia then comments she did not only fall in love with Don, she fell in love with all of them. She reads aloud a letter telling each of the kids and Don how she is reminded of all of them. Everyone seems very touched, and we are all reminded how sweet and giving Cynthia is.
As we head off to break Mario reminds us to stay tuned for the “special announcement”. I’m still wondering what this is. Maybe it’s “Who Wants to Marry Christy?” or “Who Wants to Marry Cynthia?” The suspense is killing me.
We come back from the break and we get to see a clip of Christy winning the 1996 Miss USA pageant with Halle Barry as the runner up. Hmmm, who got the better deal there? She then approaches Don while saying “No kisses, no kisses”. Although I know Christy has her reasons, I felt there was no need to humiliate Don again on that issue. Christy mentions she hesitates to say this in front of Christena, but she felt Don and she had the most sincere relationship, but she wishes the best for him. They show clips of her on the show ending with the no kiss moment, and Mario asks her why no kiss. She explains she felt it would not have been appropriate to do so at the time because Don was intended for another now. The audience applauses, but Don makes interesting faces on the side seemingly to say he felt it was no big deal to give a good-bye kiss.
We then get a quick update on the kids. Karla’s son has taken three steps and she gets recognized at the pizza parlor. Chris mentions this show brought him closer to his siblings. Joe was moved by the show and asked his girlfriend of six years to marry him. And the biggest news is Heidi is going to have a starring role on the soap opera “Passions”. I immediately think this is the big “special announcement”. I could be wrong though.
Mario then asks Christena if there is anyone she has questions for. Nick, the polygraph guy, appears and I hope we get to see him interviewed since he’s probably the most exciting character on the show. But alas no. He asks Don, “Have you ever had a polygraph test before?” Don answers, “No, and I’m not going to!” We head off to break and Mario mentions there is still a special announcement. Hmmm, well if it’s not Heidi’s role then maybe it could be “Who Wants to Marry Mario Lopez?” Can a girl dream?
We come back from the break and our treated to Don getting his own polygraph test with Christena posing the questions:
1. If I asked you to, would you consider wearing a toupee? Never!
2. If I cooked you a meal, would you lie and tell me it was delicious even if it wasn’t? Yes
3. Don will you promise to always put the toilet seat down? Yes
4. Will you guarantee me that the next time we kiss your kids won’t be watching on a closed circuit TV? Yes
Even though Don managed to lie on what were very simple questions, Christena thinks she’ll still keep him.
Don and Christena then fill the audience in on what has been happening the past couple of weeks while the show aired. They mention they have been kept apart but talked to each other everyday. They also had a secret trip to Mexico where they bumped into Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. They said they mentioned it to the producers who for some reason took this seriously and were worried Brad and Jen would spoil the show. Somehow, I have a feeling they have better things to do than watch this show. Don mentions that now the show is over, the handcuffs are off. Oh are they, Don? I think it might be the other way around. Hehehe.
And lastly the moment we’ve been waiting for. The “special announcement”! It seems the show was so popular NBC is going to milk it for all it’s worth. They are looking for a new family where kids can pick a spouse for their parent. That was such a huge let down. I know a lot of my guy friends are definitely disappointed it wasn’t a show titled “Who Wants to Marry Heidi?”
Well this is finally it. Thanks for joining me in the cheesefest. See you next round!
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