Who Wants to Marry My Dad? Episode 4: "Oh God! It's so big! It's so gushy!"
We’re down to three contestants as we see Don, the family, and the ladies gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. Don announces he will be taking each of the ladies individually on a date in the next three days.
Gabbing and Gondolas
The first date is with Cynthia. Both she and Don are dressed casually and head out towards a lake. The lay a blanket on the ground and enjoy each other’s conversation and company. In a clip, Don says at first there was not a lot of chemistry with Cynthia, but after last week’s kiss he believes there might be more in store for them. Cynthia admits this is her favorite thing to do, to be with nature.
After some kissing by the lake, we see Don and Cynthia on a gondola eating strawberries. They are huddled closely, and the gondolier tells the bridge ahead has a legend with it. If you kiss underneath it your love will last forever. So we wait patiently to see if Don will kiss Cynthia, and he does! Could this mean Cynthia will be the winner of this competition? If not, that doesn’t bode well for the legend anymore. Cynthia felt this was a very romantic date, and she didn’t want it to end.
No not my shoes!
Meanwhile, the kids take Christena out for a little game of paintball. Christena confesses although her son loves this game, she does not care for it. We immediately see Christena will not do well when her first exclamation is “Don’t hit my shoes! They’re new!” The challenge is Christena needs to capture the flag in order to not have a bad fact revealed about her.
It’s a game of girls against boys. Three girls: Heidi, Karla, and Christena, against two boys Joe and Chris. Things get heated with both teams hiding behind walls desperate to get the other teams guys. Heidi ends up shooting Joe while Christena, desperate to not have the bad fact revealed, ends up hitting Chris. Christena runs towards the flag, Rocky music and all, and captures it while chanting the mantra “no bad fact no bad fact!”
After Christena grabs the flag, she is rewarded with the envelope and the bad fact. She reads it to herself and then ends up shooting it with the paintball gun. It doesn’t get entirely covered with paint, and at this moment I am so glad I am taping this so I can go back and pause to see what was revealed about her. If you want to know, I take Visa, Mastercard, and Money Orders. Sorry no American Express at this time.
Pretty Woman. . . .I mean, Pretty Princess
Don’s second date is with Christena. She cleaned up really well after that paintball game and joins Don with his spiffy suit. They take a limo down to Beverly Hills, where Don divulges to Christena she is going to “feel like a princess”. Don seems to be really excited about this date, and I already feel a different mood from his earlier date with Cynthia.
Don takes Christena into a store where she gets to try on four gorgeous ball gowns. She looks amazing in all but ends up picking a periwinkle blue gown. Don then finishes off her look with a lovely tiara, gorgeous necklace, and silver sandals, truly making her look like a princess.
After their shopping Don takes Christena outside to a surprise horse-drawn carriage a la Cinderella. They both hop on and Christena rewards Don with a kiss. The carriage then takes them to a hall. Don and Christena enter and begin dancing to music provided by a string quartet. Christena remarks it is all very romantic.
They head back home in the limo and discuss how much fun they had. Don graciously says to Christena, “Thank you for one of the best days of my life.” They kiss and Don feels Christena finally let go in this kiss. Don says, “instead of me kissing her, we were kissing each other.”
It’s one of those “up and down” days
While Don is on a date with Christena, the kids take Christy to an amusement park. Christy’s challenge is to ride on all the rides with the kids, including roller coasters, in order to avoid having a bad fact revealed about her. Christy admits she doesn’t care for rides and really doesn’t enjoy roller coasters
The kids take her on three different roller coasters. Some are high and twisting, some do loops, and another is wooden and rickety. Afterwards Christy is feeling quite sick and thinks she might just let the fact be revealed. The kids say she has to do one more and ride the highest one. Christy says she’ll do it, which makes me makes me totally disappointed because you know there is some wicked fact about her since she has been trying desperately to stop having them revealed. The kids say they are just joking and hand over the envelope, which Christy rips up.
Don remembers the conversation he had with Christy in the pool about him taking her out on his boat. So since Christy had a wonderful day of vomiting while riding roller coasters yesterday, he thought he might add some seasickness to her menu.
We see this classy couple sailing the high seas in their Brooks Brothers gear. There is a short clip of Christy saying very unemotionally, “I feel I’m really falling for him” with a slight shrug. This is not convincing at all, but she doesn’t show that to Don on the boat. She hangs all over him and gives him a classic “reel him in” line “When do we get to do this again?” which Don replies “How about forever?” At this point I realize this has to be scripted because that line had cheese coming out of Don’s ears.
Props need to be given to Christy for not getting seasick. After sailing they go to the beach to watch the sunset. They cuddle and Christy gives a classic jealous girlfriend line “You haven’t brought any other girls here right?” She is definitely going to be a high maintenance woman. At the end of the date we see Christy say she wants Don to feel like proposing to her because she would like him to. There is no mention of a romantic feel to their date like Cynthia and Christena had mentioned on theirs.
While Don is having a great time with Christy, the kids take Cynthia out for some fishing. Of course, Cynthia admits she hates fishing. Her challenge today is to catch four fish and clean them in order to not have a bad fact revealed about her.
It doesn’t start off well when Cynthia couldn’t even touch the worm they were using as bait. She manages to catch four fish pretty quickly though, leaving me to wonder where this miracle lake that seems to make fishing actually exciting. Then I realize they are probably at some place where they stock small ponds with lots of fish.
After catching four, Chris reminds Cynthia she has to clean them. She admits she is totally disgusted at this thought, but is going to approach it like a doctor. Fortunately for us, NBC decides to go the non-Fear Factor route and just shows us Cynthia’s reaction. The ultimate reaction being “Oh god! It’s so gushy!” Being a true sport, she cleans them all and then throws away her bad fact.
The next day the group is gathered around in the living room. In a weird editing moment, we see Don mention he and Christy went sailing yesterday. Christy replies, “It was so beautiful”. Everyone gives weird glances as if they noticed this weird editing too.
Chinese food is delivered and all sit down to the meal. The first FAX is sent and says each lady will receive a bowl of fortune cookies. They will pick one and read the fortune out loud. Cynthia gets hers first. She opens it and announces, “Cynthia organized a charity fashion show that raised tens of thousands of dollars for victims of domestic violence”. All are impressed with this, and Cynthia is relieved she had a good fact revealed.
Christena picks her cookie and announces on last Valentine’s Day she sent herself chocolates and flowers with a card attached saying it was from a secret admirer. All thought this was quite sweet, but Don felt it was sad to see her without a Valentine.
Christy opens her cookie and finds out it is a bad fact. Yes! This is what I wanted! When she had to relinquish her homecoming crown, she gave back a fake. She and her mom bought a new one to give to the new homecoming queen. Christy explains the old crown was brown and old and falling apart, and she and her mom bought a new one with her money while she got to keep the one that meant so much to her. The kids weren’t too impressed with this, saying most likely other winners had wanted to keep it too, but didn’t.
After this a big fortune cookie is delivered with a message saying the kids have to pick the two least compatible with their dad to pick up the garbage. Before the kids discuss their decision they have each of the ladies explain why they should not pick them. Cynthia says she has had so many laughs and adores both the kids and Don. She begins to cry and everyone cries along with her except Don. Christena explains she and Don value the same things. They both value family, laughter, love, loyalty and honesty. She also admits she adores the kids. Christy says she and Don have a great deal of chemistry and it’s not about the connection between her and the four kids, but about finding the best person for their dad. She says she came here to find a. . . long pause. . . .soul mate. There you go, Christy! You didn’t use “sugar daddy”!
The kids meet with Don to discuss their options. Don admits that although Cynthia is great, there still isn’t much chemistry with her. He really likes both Christena and Christy and needs more time with both of them. Although Cynthia moved all kids, they picked her and Christy to take out the garbage. I guess in some sort of twisted effort to get on the kids good side, Christy says “My boys take out the garbage in my house” to which Joe quickly replies “Well this ain’t your house!”. Ouch, that’s gotta sting.
Christy and Cynthia take out the garbage to the garage where they meet up with Nick, the polygraph guy. Cynthia is up first with the questioning:
1. Do you think you’re a better match than the other women? Yes :up
2. If you marry my dad, will you let me borrow your clothes? Yes :up
3. If my dad’s company went bankrupt would you still marry him? Yes :up
4. Did you really fall in love with my dad the first time you laid eyes him? Yes :up
5. If you marry my dad will you promise to stay with our dad for richer or poorer til death do you part? Yes :up
1. If my dad gained 50 pounds would you still marry him? No :up
2. Would you marry our dad on a roller coaster if he asked you to? Yes :down
3. If picked could you set me (Chris) up with another Miss USA’s? No :up
4. Have you flirted with our brothers this week? Yes :up
5. Are you falling in love with my dad? Yes :up
Although she was mostly honest, this has got to be the worst polygraph results. The kids discuss this and say Christy doesn’t seem to love their dad unconditionally. They all admit they still really like Cynthia, and she seems really sincere.
They all gather in the living room again. The kids all have their heads bowed and Karla makes her weekly weepy announcement that it is definitely getting harder because they want what’s best for their dad and they hate to see anyone go. Don even cries and admits he hates seeing his kids cry.
Heidi says if you were marrying us we would marry all of you guys, but you’re marrying our dad so we need to pick someone for him. They explain they like everyone and the person they eliminate tonight does not mean they do not like them; they just believe it won’t work out with their dad. And tonight’s elimination is . . . really long pause as we see Heidi struggling to make this announcement, and you can almost see she cannot believe she is going to say this. Tonight they are eliminating Cynthia.
Unlike other elimination nights though, Heidi and Karla wrote Cynthia a letter. They read it out loud saying they were lucky to get to know her, they’ve grown to care for her, and they believe she will make a wonderful mother and wife someday. This has everyone crying. Oddly enough Christy looks like she’s crying the most. Cynthia says she had a great time getting to know everyone and wishes everyone the best of luck. She later admits with frustration she “reached out with her heart, but they just didn’t see it”. I think they saw it, but it was just not what they were looking for unfortunately. Don tells his kids he is really proud of them.
After Cynthia leaves, they all gather around to say a final good night. Heidi seems seriously upset and admits Cynthia was her favorite. Christy says in a clip she wishes she could have an impact like that on the kids. No doubt to try to win the “competition”, but it seems the kids have seen through that.
Next week it’s down to the final two! Christy and Christena. Tune in to see whom the kids will pick as Don’s new wife and their new step-mom.
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