Once again the lovely lurkinggirl wrote the fabulous part one recap and to catch up on the going’s on at the Dapper household you need only click HERE.
Now you know that only 3 of the lovely ladies remain: Ana (my husbands pick to win it all), Chauntal (My pick at this point), and Chelsea (who although no one here has her picked to win, I thought she deserved her own parentheses like the others).
Do it or Don’t, but remember the FAX
Viewers who watched the series faithfully will have no problem remembering the stunts at dinner or bad facts will be revealed segment that often wound up embarrassing contestants more than the revelation of any fact honestly could have. There have been precious few contestants with the courage to “pull a Giancarlo” and refuse to do the embarrassing stunt because doing it is worse than whatever bad fact may be revealed. Many more contestants, however, take a “double whammy” and embarrass themselves by attempting the silly stunt, yet fail to complete it to the specifications and still get pounded with the bad fact. Will that happens again with this crew? Why of course.
The girls are getting ready for dinner when their fax delivers the message. Choose a stunt, but do it well or facts will be faxed to mom and dad.
Dinner is a little different tonight and each girl has only a short time with each family member. Dad on the patio, Marco in the Den and Mom in the dining room.
First to eat with mom is Chelsea show must kiss mom and tell her she loves her two times during the course of the dinner. Chelsea decides that the fact that Mom likes Chinese food is reason number one and proceeds to kiss and tell. I’m confused as to what reason two was, but mom wasn’t sure it warranted yet another kiss and profession of love. No matter though as Chelsea completed her task in the allotted time.
Next up is Ana, who must scream jump on the chair and claim to have seen a mouse two separate times. Poor Ana, she screams, her arms flail about, she claims her fear of mice, but she never jumps on the chair. Obviously Ana did not watch enough Tom and Jerry cartoons as a kid, as this is the easiest of the three tasks this week. Tsk Tsk. Mission failed.
Last to try her hand at performing the task is Chauntal who honestly has the absolute worst task. Chauntal must smell mom, then ask her if she’d like to borrow her deodorant. She must do that twice. She does it once, then asks about the deodorant again, but there’s no sniffage going on, so like Ana before her, she fails to complete the task.
All participants retire into the kitchen to “make cookies” I put that in quotes simply because all they had to do was “break and bake”. I love the pre-made-home-made cookies. Talk about being able to fake being the good PTAO mom! Best invention ever. LG adds, don’t let BravoFan hear you talking up “break and bake” cookies as the best invention, Cali, or we’re likely to start another Tivo Lovefest thread following this recap.
Fax goes off and Mom and Dad learn that Ana wrote all over her boyfriend’s room in magic marker after he broke up with her and that Chauntal quit three separate jobs by just not showing up.
They aren’t happy about either of these and although they know that Chelsea is safe from the reveal, Dad asks her to tell them anyway. This seems to make Ana and Chauntal very happy, and when Chelsea starts to tell the story about her stint of dancing for money, Chauntal feels the need to embellish and throw in key words like “nekkid” and “Tabletop”.
Dad, being the sensitive guy that he is, decides that maybe the girls need to blow of some steam, so he takes them to a gym with a boxing ring. The pre-fight is between Ana and Chauntal, with the winner going on to the Main Event with Chelsea. After a few little slappy hits, dad proclaims Ana the winner. Marco is the ring boy who gets to parade around with the number for the round over his head. I think even this crowd could keep track of a three ring fight without the visual aids, but he looks so damn good while doing it, what round is it again, Marco?
Chelsea is not happy, still stinging from having to reveal bad facts despite “winning” her challenge. She is ready to kick some butt. After getting in a decent hit on Ana, we get a sidebar of Ana telling us that, that was the point when she decided it was “ON”, and both girls tell us they going to “Really Fight” unfortunately the windmill arms, leg swing kicks and giggling screams say otherwise, but Marco seems to enjoy it regardless.
Ana is again announced as the winner and her “prize” is not the usual “belt and purse” but rather an 11X14 framed picture of Marco. Yay. Please note that we are not stealing the “male boxers must be gay because they are fighting over a belt and purse” joke from either the movie Boiler Room or from the TV series Last Comic Standing, so some-one tell Joe Rogan he doesn’t need to come yell at us for using old material.
It’s Date Night
Date one goes to Ana. Her date with Marco is to a mountain cabin (that it appears they could walk too), with a fireplace and candles. That’s it, don’t go looking for more as there is nothing more there. Smokey the Bear does not make an appearance to discuss fire safety, as that would have at least been something memorable. They seem to have a pretty good time, and have no clue that Mom and Dad are out in the very non-conspicuous Van outside marked with a huge “MMF LAUNDRY VAN”. Mom and Dad seem to think that these two are hitting it off.
Date two goes to Chauntal. She gets a real date at an actual restaurant. I have a feeling she spotted an interesting van outside as she spends an awful lot of time talking about how great Mom and Dad are. They kiss, and seem to have a good time too.
The last private date of the evening goes, of course, to Chelsea. This is the date I want to go on. They visited an animal sanctuary, where he got to pet a kitty. Get your minds out of the gutter he got to pet a baby LION. Gee people. Marco and Chelsea had a little kiss while bottle-feeding the wolf pup, and Mom and Dad decide that things are going well, but that they can go home. “Unbeknownst” to them a chimp somehow climbs into the van and hitches a ride home.
Dinner and a Monkey
Everyone is enjoying a nice dinner when the doorbell rings. Dad is shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to see a chimp at the door hading him a rolled up paper. Dad takes the paper and shuts the door in the chimps face.
Mom and Dad need to get rid of someone in 15 minutes.
Mom fights to keep Chelsea whom she sees as a challenge for Marco. Dad thinks keeping Chelsea is mean, as it’s really just stringing her along. Mom wins out and it is announced, rather unceremoniously, that Ana is out.
Everyone, including Ana, is shocked. Mom and Dad throw in a gratuitous “you didn’t seem very interested in us” jab at Ana on her way out, and Marco seems genuinely sad to see her go. Mom, who cried a river of tears when the crazy cat lady left in the first episode, has totally dry eyes as she shoves perky little Ana and her “I’m so pretty I don’t need to suck up to the Oldsters” attitude out her front door.
This is when I come to a realization, that really means nothing, but I want to share it with you. Chelsea has wild bed head almost all the time.
One on One Time in the Garden
The remaining two ladies get one more shot at some one on one time with Marco. This time it takes place in the garden. Chauntal gets to sit with him on a swing as they talk for a while. She tells him that after just five days she feels closer to him than she does some of her friends. He really likes Chauntal, and she really likes him.
He still has time for Chelsea, and they spend time lying in a hammock in the garden. She says she is really enjoying his company. They both say they are starting to like the other person.
It’s time for the girls to give the family their final plea. Making an entrance first is Chauntal who goes on and on about how great everyone is. She really thinks that there is a vibe between her and Marco that just isn’t there for Chelsea. That Chelsea is there to play the game, but she (Chauntal) really likes Marco.
Mom and Dad thinks it’s going to be hard to beat that speech.
Enter Chelsea who somehow manages to be crying after two words. She thinks Marco is great sob, he’s funny sob, he’s cute sob, the parents are wonderful sob, sob, sob. Mom buys it, and thinks Chelsea is great. Marco pitches in his 2 cents and says he is really liking Chauntal and thinks he’d have more fun with her in Greece. Parents wonder long term, Marco is a kid and really… why are they trying to marry him off so quickly?
While the girls are in their room, they receive a fax telling them that there is a bad fact about each of them hidden in Mom and Dad’s room. They have ten minutes to find it. Oh goody, an Easter Egg hunt.
I don’t know about you, but if I were looking for something in someone’s room that I was going to be hanging out with for a while longer, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be throwing their crap all over the place. These girls don’t move things over to look, they throw things out onto the floor. They are searching frantically, and I assume they thought they would get some kind of warning as to when their ten minutes ended. Silly girls, this is Meet My Folks.
The only ten minute notice comes in the form of a FAX to Mom, Dad and Marco in the kitchen. They can turn on the TV to see what the girls are up to.
They only watch for a second before heading upstairs to bust them. The girls are upset not only about being busted, but over the fact that they didn’t even find the bad facts which were hidden in plain sight…. if you’re Columbo or Adrian Monk. I can’t say I blame the girls for not checking the… answering machine…. which dad happily plays. This is new, how fun. From now on contestants, always check the answering machine.
Message one is from Chauntal’s Mom, who hopes she’s having fun, but wants to remind her that she probably shouldn’t mention the fact that she has borrowed over four grand from people and doesn’t plan on paying it back.
Message two, of course is for Chelsea from her dear, loving mom, who also hopes her daughter is having fun. She also has a warning though… “make sure you don’t tell the Dappers about the time that guy broke up with you, so you decided to trash his house and yard.”
OK a freeloader or a psycho. Looks like they did a great job of narrowing down the field.
Nick and his Machine
It’s time to see Nick again, and get to the bottom of a few things.
First up is Chelsea
If you married Marco, would you feed and bathe us when we were old? Yes
Did you cry to get us to pick you? NO
Do you think we were unfairly tough on you? No
Would you quit your job to stay home with kids? Yes
**this one really seems to please mom**
Did you dance in your underwear for money? No
Next it’s time for Chauntal
Were you fired for not showing up to work? Yes
Have you lied to Marco this week? No
Have you told men you loved them so they’d buy you gifts? No
Are you planning on repaying all the money you owe? Yes
Did you talk badly about Marco to the other girls? No
Mom thinks the girls are pretty much the same, but that Chelsea is less high maintenance than Chauntal, but Marco likes Chauntal, so they really need time to think. Luckily there is a commercial break so they get over 2 minutes.
When we return, Dad tries to make it dramatic by using the William Shattner School of dramatic pauses method. Unfortunately he used the Paulie Shore acting school method and apologized to Marco before the big ol’ pause. At least Dad didn’t refer to him himself as “the Weasel” or call Mom “Dude.”
Yes we all knew right away that Mom and Dad chose Chelsea. She honestly seems to be the only happy one. I’m not sure if she’s going to cry or cry, but I think she’s happy anyway.
At this point I have come to yet another realization I would like to share. I am almost certain that in the entire 1 hour and 50 minutes that was “The Dappers” we didn’t get one hot tub scene! Could this be correct???? Wow, they never cease to amaze.
To contact the author of this piece of crap recap please email email@example.com
Many thanks going out to lurkinggirl for her contributions. If you laughed at all while reading this, it’s because of something she added. Thanks so much LG.
Thanks to the 2 hour finale of For Love Or Money next Monday there will not be another episode of Meet My Folks until a week from then. This being the NBC scheduler’s least favorite show, I wouldn’t even count on it then, but, just like the Terminator, it will be back!